Who enjoys weddings?

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If you don´t expect to enjoy a wedding, don´t go. This stuff of ´being expected to go´or worse still, planning holidays to have an excuse is just rubbish. We are all adults now.

PS My wedding was great craic. I enjoyed much more than I expected to. No fancy favours or chair covers, just a great venue and a great band. I´ve largely enjoyed every other wedding I attended too.
 
Complainer said:
If you don´t expect to enjoy a wedding, don´t go. This stuff of ´being expected to go´or worse still, planning holidays to have an excuse is just rubbish. We are all adults now.
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Rubbish! What would you expect people to do? Tell brothers, sisters, friends, colleagues that they are not going to their wedding because on the whole you just don't like them??? come on...... as an adult sometimes you just have to put your own feelings aside, not sit at home and stamp your feet!!! The point is I don't sit at weddings being miserable and not taking part. I go, I take part as much as I can & I make the best of the day, however as a whole when I look back, combining all of my overall wedding experiences I didn't particularly enjoy them, I enjoyed moments but overall didn't enjoy the wedding experience!

Complainer said:
PS My wedding was great craic.
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I'm sure it was! I wonder did all of your guests think the same though ????. Why is it that people get so precious over their wedding, are we not allowed to complain complainer???
 
Complainer said:
If you don´t expect to enjoy a wedding, don´t go. This stuff of ´being expected to go´or worse still, planning holidays to have an excuse is just rubbish. We are all adults now.
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Exactly, Complainer, we're adults so we can't just turn around and say 'no, not going. Don't want to'. There are people's feelings and family sensitivities to consider.
 
liaconn said:
Exactly, Complainer, we're adults so we can't just turn around and say 'no, not going. Don't want to'. There are people's feelings and family sensitivities to consider.
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I second this. My father would be terribly upset if i didn't go the my brothers wedding next year. I'm allergic to going (for loads of reasons) but believe I have no choice as I don't want to cause any family tension. So, even though my brother and I have very little to say to each other I'll be there on the day, i'll give what I can afford as a cash gift and I'll smile for the photos.

And to all those who say "my wedding was great, everyone enjoyed it" - do you honestly expect anyone to say otherwise to you?!
 
Teatime said:
On the costs issue, I have been to a few weddings where the bride and groom aimed to actually make money from the whole affair and some couples go out of their way to make a profit especially on 'afters' guests. Its interesting how many couples have the cheques cashed before they fly off... I heard of one invite that stated "cash not trash". The going rate for a wedding present in recent years was €200-€300. A 100 of those gifts would go a long way to paying for wedding expenses & a nice honeymoon.
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Actually, that's another point. Now that most of us have had to take signficant cuts in our take home pay, with more on the way and no hope of promotions or pay rises in the near future, we are going to have better things to do with our money than fund other people's big showbizzy weddings in out of the way locations and their honeymoons in Hawaii and Thailand. Any chance we could have a return to simpler celebrations requiring simpler presents from the guests?
 
liaconn said:
Actually, that's another point. Now that most of us have had to take signficant cuts in our take home pay, with more on the way and no hope of promotions or pay rises in the near future, we are going to have better things to do with our money than fund other people's big showbizzy weddings in out of the way locations and their honeymoons in Hawaii and Thailand. Any chance we could have a return to simpler celebrations requiring simpler presents from the guests?
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You can come to my wedding - only your company is required not your money! :D
 
I'm coming out of the closet ... I hate them too!!

Everybody I know (no kidding) hates weddings, including my parents but its not worth upsetting relatives about so we go and buy the bloody clothes and eat the middling food and fork out for a present. You'd get a great European city break for the same cost and that's what I've been known to do the odd time - glad to hear I'm not the only one.

I've been at the odd one where I really enjoyed the meal/afters but it still only just about broke even as an overall experience when the rest of the torturous day is taken into consideration. Don't forget the bride leaving you waiting half the day at the church too; especially the winter brides - a special thank you for that.

As for those thinking it's all so romantic; half the ones I've been at, I've only been invited because they felt they 'had' to ask me and I felt I 'had' to go. So don't expect me to come over all misty-eyed when usually it's a cynical day of role-playing by pretty much everyone present. And now, in case you might have a few schekels or the will to live left, they go and have another do the following day (or two!).

And then there's the symbolism; being given away, a white dress, a church they never normally set foot in ... arrgggghhh. Must . stop . think . of . blood . pressure!
 
MissRibena said:
I'm coming out of the closet ... I hate them too!!

So don't expect me to come over all misty-eyed when usually it's a cynical day of role-playing by pretty much everyone present.
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Good for you Miss Ribena. This thread is turning out like an AA meeting with everyone finally able to release their repressed dislike of weddings.

I think Miss Ribena hates weddings the most and on so many levels....:)
 
Actually, while we're on the subject could I ask a question of brides and grooms from Dublin?

If you're both from Dublin, and your parents live in Dublin and all your friends and most of your relatives live in Dublin why, why, why do you insist on dragging all 150 guests miles down the country somewhere for your wedding, forcing us to book an extra day's holiday from work, get up at the crack of dawn to face the long drive, fork out a fortune on overnight accommodation and spend the next morning having to make yet more small talk with all the people we spent yesterday making small talk with? Like, why?
 
I honestly don't think anyone could hate weddings as much as me.

I work in the HSE so I am weddinging out. The girls here can talk about the bridesmaids dresses for 20 minutes without coming up for air. When it's about someone they actually know they will manage 35 minutes.

One of the ideas I have for a book is "Death by a thousand wedding pictures"
 
liaconn said:
Also, you many not see anything rude about the bride and groom providing champagne at their table and not at any other table. If I couldn't afford champagne for everyone, I would not have it at all. I wouldn't consider my guests to be 2nd rate citizens at my wedding and show my feelings so clearly.


Somebody else on this thread said that they don't like weddings and particularly don't like people getting precious about them not liking them. Well, I agree. I don't enjoy weddings. I accept invitations to be polite, I look as if I'm enjoying myself. What more do you want? For people not to be allowed to express, anonymously, the things they don't like about weddings. Well, pity about you. Its a free country.
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It is a free country and you are well within your rights to complain anonymously about the married couple being treated as if they were somehow special on their wedding day.

I am also within my rights to say that you are being overly critical of the bride and groom who have gone to a lot of effort to make it a day they hope they will never forget and one that the majority of their guests will enjoy.

My tip for you is to organise to go somewhere for a light lunch after the ceremony and clear out after the first dance. It solves many of the problems you mention above
 
I am not complaining about them being treated as if they were special. I am saying that it was bad manners for them to provide champagne for themselves and their immediate circle for the toast in front of all the other guests. Would you think it was okay if they had fillet steak at their table and just expected everyone else to make do with a plate of stew?

Also, while the bride and groom may go to a lot of effort to organise the wedding, the guests also go to a lot of effort to attend - taking time off work, travelling long distances, traipsing around shops trying to find something to wear, buying expensive gifts. Is it too much to ask to be treated with a bit of consideration and manners at the wedding, including not being expected to hang around for hours while the bride and groom are off somewhere else?

Finally, once again you talk about the 'majority' of guests enjoying weddings, while it is quite clear from this thread that they do not.
 
liaconn said:
I am not complaining about them being treated as if they were special. I am saying that it was bad manners for them to provide champagne for themselves and their immediate circle for the toast in front of all the other guests. Would you think it was okay if they had fillet steak at their table and just expected everyone else to make do with a plate of stew?

Also, while the bride and groom may go to a lot of effort to organise the wedding, the guests also go to a lot of effort to attend - taking time off work, travelling long distances, traipsing around shops trying to find something to wear, buying expensive gifts. Is it too much to ask to be treated with a bit of consideration and manners at the wedding, including not being expected to hang around for hours while the bride and groom are off somewhere else?

Finally, once again you talk about the 'majority' of guests enjoying weddings, while it is quite clear from this thread that they do not.
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This thread only proves that there are people out there who don't like weddings, it's not a statistically significant poll!

I didn't actually say the majority actually enjoy them (I can only speak for myself), I said most people would consider a day of food drink and music to be a good one and that the bride and groom try to please the majority.

It is 100% fair to say that wedding can be a lot of hassle for all involved but a recurring theme in your complaints centres around the special treatment of the bride and groom.

At the end of the day the red carpet is for the bride and groom, they get the first dance and they get the best room in the hotel. Do you perceive these perks as some kind of slight also?

The 'hanging around for hours' is actually less enjoyable for the couple as they are being ordered around by a photographer, but it's a big day and it's nice to have a decent momento of the occasion. If you're sociable and know a lot of the other guests, this can be the best part of the day. If not, slip off for a sandwich after the ceremony and arrive at the hotel half an hour before the meal is due to start
 
Weddings are amazing. You have so many people who are asked and wish they had'nt been and then on the other hand you have people who have'nt been asked that feel they should have been. Very hard to please everybody.
 
DerKaiser said:
This thread only proves that there are people out there who don't like weddings, it's not a statistically significant poll!

This thread proves that there are a lot of people out there who don't like weddings.

I didn't actually say the majority actually enjoy them (I can only speak for myself), I said most people would consider a day of food drink and music to be a good one and that the bride and groom try to please the majority.

This doesn't make any sense. Does 'most' people not mean 'the majority'?

It is 100% fair to say that wedding can be a lot of hassle for all involved but a recurring theme in your complaints centres around the special treatment of the bride and groom.

At the end of the day the red carpet is for the bride and groom, they get the first dance and they get the best room in the hotel. Do you perceive these perks as some kind of slight also?

Where have I complained about the bride and groom getting special treatment? I explained my objection to the champagne thing, have I mentioned any objections to anything else (apart from the clapping thing, which I said I disliked because I just thinkit's cheesy not 'special treatment'. )

The 'hanging around for hours' is actually less enjoyable for the couple as they are being ordered around by a photographer, but it's a big day and it's nice to have a decent momento of the occasion. If you're sociable and know a lot of the other guests, this can be the best part of the day. If not, slip off for a sandwich after the ceremony and arrive at the hotel half an hour before the meal is due to start
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Practically everyone on this post has objected to the hanging around for hours bit, so obviously its a big issue for guests. It might be the 'best part of the day' for you but once again, you seem to be ignoring the majority of comments on here in favour of your own argument.
 
liaconn said:
Practically everyone on this post has objected to the hanging around for hours bit, so obviously its a big issue for guests. It might be the 'best part of the day' for you but once again, you seem to be ignoring the majority of comments on here in favour of your own argument.
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For your own sanity you should accept that people getting married take time to have photos after the ceremony and before the meal.

If this gap has been a problem for you in the past would it not be wise to arrange to do something like grab a sandwich somewhere in this time?
 
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