Who enjoys weddings?

[Teatime]

Its quite sad really if people find weddings a bore because the poor bride puts so much thought into her wedding day and so much preparations go into making sure everything goes off well and everybody is happy. I hope there are not too many brides-to-be reading all these posts or they will get very dis-illusioned.

Yes maybe people are hurt if you don't go to their wedding but is it still not very hurtful if you have guests going around after the wedding saying it was such a boring day.

But thats the thing - nobody goes around saying weddings are boring and I do feel sorry for the brides and the anti-climax they must feel. The pressure on 'show-off' weddings during the Celtic Tiger was huge and so was the price. To me it's a case of the Emperor's new clothes. I rarely say to my friends that I dislike weddings because I have been to their weddings and they've been to mine. It's much easier to say it anonymously on AAM!! I think if people are honest, the vast majority of people dont like going to weddings and the rest need to get out more !!...the first few and your own are good but after that its Groundhog Day.

 

[Black Sheep]

I think the wedding I enjoyed most was in Paris. French bride, Irish groom.
Civil cermony first in the beautiful town hall followed a few photos. The coach then arrived to take all non french guests on a scenic tour of Paris. Then on to the church service which was conducted in both english and french. A few more photos in the park opposite.
Coach took us to hotel where all the friends (the office gang etc) joined in for drinks and canopays, mainly fruit drinks but some alcholic also.
About 7p.m. were all called for main meal of about 10 courses. Music was provided between courses by various artists, some classical, some Irish.

Altogether the most delicious food I have ever had and the most enjoyable wedding. A boat trip on the Seine was organised by bride and groom for all guests the following day

 

[MandaC]

Weddings seem to be like children. Everyone loves their own, (though I can t say I have had either, Wedding or Children) Everyone seems to think their wedding was different and better, but the only thing that really matters is that THE COUPLE enjoy it.

It is amazing to see how the most calm and nice people turn into Bridezillas.

I agree with the sentiments expressed here, most weddings unless they are immediate family, bore a hole through people.

If I ever do get hitched and it is unlikely now, it is off to the Chapel of Love in Vegas for me, and down route 66 in a convertible, something I have always wanted to do. Will pay for it myself and dont want or expect anyone elses cash. I am not really interested whether auntie Maude who crawled out from under her rock, having not been seen for years complained about the lumpy mash potato.

Was at a wedding recently where one of the favours was, and I dont know if anyone remembers these, those fish you used to get in lucky bags years ago, and depending on the heat of your hand, turned over, curled up, etc. They supposedly told your fortune. My fortune fish worked out to be "dead fish" which said it all about the day really.

And I do agree if there is one thing worse than a wedding, its a wedding video

 

[Teatime]

Weddings seem to be like children. Everyone loves their own, (though I can t say I have had either, Wedding or Children)

Might I suggest a shotgun wedding?

 

[ney001]

Its quite sad really if people find weddings a bore because the poor bride puts so much thought into her wedding day and so much preparations go into making sure everything goes off well and everybody is happy. I hope there are not too many brides-to-be reading all these posts or they will get very dis-illusioned.

Yes maybe people are hurt if you don't go to their wedding but is it still not very hurtful if you have guests going around after the wedding saying it was such a boring day.

Poor bride my ..............foot! You seem to be suggesting that all of these brides have gone to trouble and expense to entertain guests who don't appreciate it! The reality is that it is their decision to have this big wedding they want the princess for a day feeling and let's be honest most couples getting married will more than cover the cost of food and entertainment via money received as gifts! Big white weddings are fine but fine if that's what you want but don't expect everybody to like them!

 

[ney001]

Might I suggest a shotgun wedding?

actually one of the best weddings I was at was a shotgun wedding. Bride was 8 Months. Many funny moments throughout the day as both sets of parents seemed to be in denial about pending baby and quick wedding ! Bride sober and grumpy groom hammered all day. Very funny

 

[MandaC]

Might I suggest a shotgun wedding?

Teatime, that might be fine if I wanted either, but the thought alone just brings me out in a cold sweat.

I could find nothing more mind numbingly boring than seating plans/cake choices/favours (these things particurarly get on my
wick)/wedding planners/matching linen chair covers,

I used to watch that program Brides of Franc with a morbid fascination and then wonder if I was of the same species as these people. They had once a Harry Potter themed Wedding(!!!) and also a D&G themed wedding, both of which were scary stuff but for different reasons.

I am probably getting very selfish in my old age, but I just could not be bothered. I have become an old cynic.

I usually find the best weddings are those planned with less military precision and allow people to relax.

 

[deedee80]

Teatime
Frequent Poster
Location: Galway
Posts: 70


Re: Who enjoys weddings?
Quote:
Originally Posted by deedee80 http://www.askaboutmoney.com/showthread.php?p=913746#post913746
And anyone who doesn't enjoy good company, good food and good entertainment, in my book is pretty odd!

Thats a bit simplistic DeeDee. I love a good meal with my friends and a few pints in a lively pub then home to my own comfy bed but I dislike weddings - what gives? Am I odd? Firstly weddings are rarely good food, good entertainment & good company. For the reasons mentioned earlier in this post, weddings are a complete drag especially ones where you have to travel long distances or where there are more than 200 people.

So what you are saying is that you dislike weddings on a whole, so even if the food, entertainment and company was great you still probably wouldn't really enjoy it?? (Lets leave aside whether its rarely good or not, it won't always be good, that was not my point.)

Maybe you feel I have a simplistic view but I really do enjoy myself if I am out with my friends and the food and entertainment is good, I love a good wedding! I have been to weddings where the company, food and entertainment are not good and of course its not as enjoyable, I'm not some simpleton who's just mad to get out for the day
But as I have said before, if you can wholeheartedly say that you went to a wedding and the food, entertainment and company was good but you still didn't enjoy it, well I just don't understand this!

 

[liaconn]

Teatime, that might be fine if I wanted either, but the thought alone just brings me out in a cold sweat.

I could find nothing more mind numbingly boring than seating plans/cake choices/favours (these things particurarly get on my
wick)/wedding planners/matching linen chair covers,

I used to watch that program Brides of Franc with a morbid fascination and then wonder if I was of the same species as these people. They had once a Harry Potter themed Wedding(!!!) and also a D&G themed wedding, both of which were scary stuff but for different reasons.

I am probably getting very selfish in my old age, but I just could not be bothered. I have become an old cynic.

I usually find the best weddings are those planned with less military precision and allow people to relax.

Ah yes, Brides of Franc. I remember one bride who was having her reception in a castle with a working farm. She wanted all the haystacks removed from the fields because they were spoiling the view .

The nicest wedding I was at was one where the reception was held in the bride and groom's new, unfurnished house. They drove themselves from the church in an old vintage car belonging to the bride's uncle (which it took them ages to get started) and the bride and groom went around serving the food and wine along with family helpers. A friend of the groom took the photos - a few formal ones outside the church and just casual ones after that, and the brides' brother did the video. People were sitting in the back garden, the front garden and on cushions on the floor. Dessert was huge boxes of belgian chocolates and a wedding cake the mother of the bride had made. The neighbouring kids knocked in to ask if they 'could help' and were brought in to enjoy the fun. It was a lovely day. Much nicer than sitting in the function room of a hotel, making small talk with the groom's boss over your roast lamb, while an identical wedding reception goes on in the function room next door.

 

[truthseeker]

but I really do enjoy myself if I am out with my friends and the food and entertainment is good

So do I - but this combination rarely happens at any wedding Ive ever been at.
Plus when Im out with my friends for good food and entertainment I dont usually have to hang around for hours drinking on an empty stomach waiting for photographs to finish or clear out of rooms waiting for tables to be moved, or make poilte small talk with random strangers for hours on end.

 

[liaconn]

so do i - but this combination rarely happens at any wedding ive ever been at.
Plus when im out with my friends for good food and entertainment i dont usually have to hang around for hours drinking on an empty stomach waiting for photographs to finish or clear out of rooms waiting for tables to be moved, or make poilte small talk with random strangers for hours on end.

+1.

 

[deedee80]

Have things not moved on from this sorta thing though?

Last 3 weddings I was at (including my own) there was loads of food and drink at the drinks reception provided by the bride and groom, it was really enjoyable not "hanging around for hours" and no waiting for rooms to be cleared out and tables moved in the evening at all! I would think it crazy to go to a wedding now that didn't provide even a sambo while the photos are being taken, I'd be drunk after 1 drink if I had no lunch!

 

[liaconn]

The last wedding I was at, there was a few crisps while we were waiting. They also provided champagne for the top table during the toasts but just ordinary drinks for the other tables. Then, because one table complained about the sun in their eyes, all the curtains were closed and we had to sit in the dark. It was my cousin's wedding and they invited some cousins and didn't invite others, selected apparently randomly (not just the eldest in each family or anything like that) because they were trying to keep numbers down to save on expense. Then they spent a fortune getting the chairs decked out in fancy white covers! There was a choice of roast beef or fish for the meal but anybody who asked if they could have their beef well done was told 'no' it was being cooked one way and one way only.

 

[truthseeker]

Have things not moved on from this sorta thing though?

Last 3 weddings I was at (including my own) there was loads of food and drink at the drinks reception provided by the bride and groom, it was really enjoyable not "hanging around for hours" and no waiting for rooms to be cleared out and tables moved in the evening at all! I would think it crazy to go to a wedding now that didn't provide even a sambo while the photos are being taken, I'd be drunk after 1 drink if I had no lunch!

There was a drinks reception at the last one I was at, but the only food was a biscuit on the side of a tea saucer. Meanwhile dinner was delayed because of photographs so the drinks reception went on for 4 hours. Thats 4 hours of small talk with strangers, no food and drinking on an empty stomach. Not fun.

 

[Caveat]

Well our wedding was a pretty low key affair.

No church, about 50 guests, 'shabby chic' local hotel that we loved, no band (just a DJ under fairly strict instruction as to what to play, when to play it and how loud). No 'bridal gown', our mate was 'the photographer' and he was great at it.

Just a nice meal, drinks, kind of a laid back party atmosphere.

We spent far far more on the meal and free drinks than we did on anything else.

I'm pretty sure most people enjoyed themselves - they often mention it to this day.

Having said that - I still couldn't relax on the day simply stressing and worrying about everyone else.

If we were to do it all again it would be even more low key.

 

[DerKaiser]

The last wedding I was at, there was a few crisps while we were waiting. They also provided champagne for the top table during the toasts but just ordinary drinks for the other tables.

Isn't it tough on you being brought out and fed and entertained for the day, having to drink "ordinary drinks", having to applaud the married couple and to socialise with people.

May I be as bold as to suggest that whilst there are many of people who don't like weddings, most people would view a day out with food, drink and music laid on as a good way to spend a day.

For the most part the bride and groom put a lot of effort and expense into making sure people have a good day and most people genuinely enjoy the day. If you're not into it that's fine but you have to appreciate that it's just a celebration and the least the guests can do is to try enjoy themselves rather than finding fault with the whole thing

 

[Ash 22]

Totally agree with you DerKaiser. My daughter got married this year and its a good job I had'nt realised that so many people did'nt enjoy weddings or I would be having second thoughts and wondering about inviting guests in case it was an ordeal for them to attend. I love weddings, a lovely happy day out and even if I don't know anybody I still love them. I think its an honour to be asked to somebodys wedding.
As you say the amount of preparation that goes into a wedding is amazing and its a pity to have it taken for granted.

 

[liaconn]

Isn't it tough on you being brought out and fed and entertained for the day, having to drink "ordinary drinks", having to applaud the married couple and to socialise with people.

May I be as bold as to suggest that whilst there are many of people who don't like weddings, most people would view a day out with food, drink and music laid on as a good way to spend a day.

For the most part the bride and groom put a lot of effort and expense into making sure people have a good day and most people genuinely enjoy the day. If you're not into it that's fine but you have to appreciate that it's just a celebration and the least the guests can do is to try enjoy themselves rather than finding fault with the whole thing

DerKaiser, perhaps you have not read the other posts on this thread. I do not consider being forced to sit around for hours drinking on an empty stomach, or in my case as I was the designated driver, sipping minerals, while the bride, groom and their family disappear with the photographer, being brought out and entertained. This has been well discussed on the thread and most people have said they don't enjoy it but you have obviously chosen to ignore this in favour of your argument.. As for ;brought out and entertained' I had to drive miles down the country and back (even though the bride and groom were both from Dublin) and purchase an expensive gift so the day cost me far more than the meal (not that I mind that, but just to put your post into perspective.

You also saythat while many people don't enjoy weddings most people 'genuinely enjoy the day'. and view a day of food, drink and music as a great day out. Not only does that not make any kind of sense but it also ignores the evidence on here. Most of us try and look as if we're enjoying the day, not the same thing. But again, you have chosen to disregard comments that don't suit your point of view.

Also, you many not see anything rude about the bride and groom providing champagne at their table and not at any other table. If I couldn't afford champagne for everyone, I would not have it at all. I wouldn't consider my guests to be 2nd rate citizens at my wedding and show my feelings so clearly.


Somebody else on this thread said that they don't like weddings and particularly don't like people getting precious about them not liking them. Well, I agree. I don't enjoy weddings. I accept invitations to be polite, I look as if I'm enjoying myself. What more do you want? For people not to be allowed to express, anonymously, the things they don't like about weddings. Well, pity about you. Its a free country.

Ash, if you enjoy weddings that's great. But making out that the very, very many people who don't enjoy them are somehow in the wrong is a little unfair.

 

[Teatime]

For the most part the bride and groom put a lot of effort and expense into making sure people have a good day and most people genuinely enjoy the day. If you're not into it that's fine but you have to appreciate that it's just a celebration and the least the guests can do is to try enjoy themselves rather than finding fault with the whole thing

Nonsense Der Kaiser, I dont think you really get it. This post is the first time I have ever 'found fault' with weddings apart from groaning to Mrs Teatime when an invite comes in the door. When I am at weddings I am as happy as the other sheep who smile and take photos and chat and dance. I know deep down that many people would rather be somewhere else.

On the costs issue, I have been to a few weddings where the bride and groom aimed to actually make money from the whole affair and some couples go out of their way to make a profit especially on 'afters' guests. Its interesting how many couples have the cheques cashed before they fly off... I heard of one invite that stated "cash not trash". The going rate for a wedding present in recent years was €200-€300. A 100 of those gifts would go a long way to paying for wedding expenses & a nice honeymoon.

I know, I am a cynic...dont invite me to your weddings !!

 

[liaconn]

nonsense der kaiser, i dont think you really get it. This post is the first time i have ever 'found fault' with weddings apart from groaning to mrs teatime when an invite comes in the door. When i am at weddings i am as happy as the other sheep who smile and take photos and chat and dance. I know deep down that many people would rather be somewhere else.



!!

+1.