Something that always amazes me is the number of people who say 'we'd love to get married, but we can't afford to'. What they mean is they can't afford to invite 200 guests for a 4 course meal, with an elaborate cake and an expensive band and a big leather bound album full of staged photographs. Seems terribly sad to not get married for this reason. Why not just have your family to a ceremony and for a simple lunch or dinner afterwards? You're still married.
Who enjoys weddings?
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I personally think its a very fair comment and you have taken it up wrong. It was about weddings in general (never mentioned anything re traditional/non traditional weddings). I really feel that no matter what the wedding is like (civil ceremony followed by a meal, or a big do in a hotel), once the food, entertainment and company is good then its usually a great day out! And anyone who doesn't enjoy good company, good food and good entertainment, in my book is pretty odd!
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Yes, but your idea of good company and good entertainment mightn't be someone else's. It just annoys me when some decides that anyone who isn't enjoying something that they're enjoying is 'odd' or 'anti-social'.
I love being invited to a wedding and I'm really amazed at the number of people who don't enjoy going to weddings. I love everything about the day, the Church ceremony, meal, speeches and chat. I think its a lovely relaxing day away from everything for a full day and its celebrating such a lovely happy occassion.
truthseeker
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I agree with this, its not that I dont enjoy good food, company and entertainment, but weddings are not my idea of all of that.
Food - I always find the meal far too rich after drinking on an empty stomach, plus choice is generally restricted. It may come as a surprise, but I dont like beef too much - and thats whats been served at the last 3 weddings Ive been at.
Company - Unless its the wedding of a very close friend where Im surrounded by other very close friends, then I just end up making small talk with relative strangers. Not that thats a big problem, but it gets tedious after hours and hours of it - unless you are lucky enough to find someone mega interesting to chat to - which Im usually not.
Entertainment - usually the entertainment is a live band followed by a DJ (or sometimes just a DJ) - while I enjoy a bit of live music, its all a bit samey with wedding bands, and I cant usually distinguish one band from another.
So I cant see how any of the above would induce me to have an amazing time at a wedding. Add into that the long delays and boring bits already discussed and what I end up with is the knowledge that Ive to go to yet another tedious event, that will blur into memory with all the others Ive ever been to unless there is something dramatically different - and there usually isnt.
Thats a bit simplistic DeeDee. I love a good meal with my friends and a few pints in a lively pub then home to my own comfy bed but I dislike weddings - what gives? Am I odd? Firstly weddings are rarely good food, good entertainment & good company. For the reasons mentioned earlier in this post, weddings are a complete drag especially ones where you have to travel long distances or where there are more than 200 people.
Its funny when people ask me "do you remember at my wedding...?" - I can never distinguish one wedding from another because they all merge in my memory as one long wedding. Its very rare that a particular wedding stands out. The wedding 'afters' can be a little less of a drag if the wedding is local but the concept of 'afters' is a bit rude too.
truthseeker
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I forgot about the ones you have to travel long distances for. I once travelled a 6 hour car journey to and from a wedding, had to stay 2 nights in the hotel because it was so far away (it was a VERY expensive hotel), and then the couple in question had the cheek to break up a year later.
I felt like asking for my present back!!
If long travel is involved that means 2 nights in the hotel it can run to around 1000 euro to attend (between outfit, hotel, travel expenses, gift and drink on the day).
I can't stand those weddings were the bride and groom think that it is a great idea to mix up the guests so that everyone is sitting with people they dont know. Usually end up being boring small talk.
The weddings I enjoy most are those where I can sit with close friends and family and relax and enjoy.
The weddings I enjoy most are those where I can sit with close friends and family and relax and enjoy.
Because it's a bit simplistic to simply say you cannot go!. Weddings bring out all kinds of emotions between families, simply not going to a wedding because you don't like them could set off arguments of all kinds within the family/group of friends. Personally as stated if I really don't want to go to a wedding I will try to arrange say holidays or something around that time and tell them I had them booked ages ago..... however you cannot always do this and you cannot always just not go, sometimes you just gotta suck it up and go to keep the peace!
Also, I'm not saying that all weddings are rubbish, I will usually manage to have a good time but generally speaking I think the weddings follow the exact same formula over and over again, same bands same clothes same everything, yet each bride I have spoken to seems to think that their wedding was actually different and huge fun for everybody. The best times I have had at weddings are usually a small group of us in the pub/at the bar having a laugh far away from the rubbish dancing and DJ.
It seems to me that from most people's comments that quality and how well they know the people are the main things. If i went to a restaraunt and had terrible food with a crowd of people i barely knew i'd hate it. Similarly for weddings. I think the problem is all weddings getting tarred with the same brush. Our wedding will be realtively small in comparison to some, 100 people (and with both fathers having ten siblings each i think this is doing well!). Our extended families have met several times so there's some familiarity there. There is no one going that doesn't know at least 8 or 9 other people. Our music in the church is being performed by family and we're having a beatles band because we love them, we know alot of our families love them and they are a good band to reach across most age groups. So while i'm having a traditional wedding i feel it's still very personal and family orientated whcih in my book is what a wedding and indeed a marriage is all about.
truthseeker
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Youre damned if you do and your damned if you dont. Usually I go because it would be considered bad form for me not to go if my only reason is 'i just dont like weddings' - its not about what i like, its about what the bride and groom want etc....
Put simply, it would be considered selfish not to go for that reason.
I never go unless I absolutely have to.
truthseeker
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Theres also the element of sameyness though. I loved the first couple of weddings I went to as an adult, seemed so exciting and a 'different' social event. Once the novelty wore off I just found them samey and boring - no matter who is at them.
Well that's true, and of anything really, novelty adds a certain something to an event. I'm lucky in that we're the first grandchildern on both sides to get married in Ireland so hopefully everyone will enjoy!
truthseeker
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The smaller they are the better they usually are. Ive totally blurred out all the 150+ weddings Ive ever been to, but remember fondly one i was at with only 35 people.
I will come back to this thread in 3 weeks time with a story for ye, cant tell now, would ruin the secret
Why do you think?Because we don't want to hurt people's feelings or embarass our parents if its a family wedding.
Yes I can see the various reasons now why some people don't enjoy weddings and thats fine, different people enjoy different things in life. I don't enjoy going to pubs unless theres some very good music that I like on.
Its quite sad really if people find weddings a bore because the poor bride puts so much thought into her wedding day and so much preparations go into making sure everything goes off well and everybody is happy. I hope there are not too many brides-to-be reading all these posts or they will get very dis-illusioned.
Yes maybe people are hurt if you don't go to their wedding but is it still not very hurtful if you have guests going around after the wedding saying it was such a boring day.
Its quite sad really if people find weddings a bore because the poor bride puts so much thought into her wedding day and so much preparations go into making sure everything goes off well and everybody is happy. I hope there are not too many brides-to-be reading all these posts or they will get very dis-illusioned.
Yes maybe people are hurt if you don't go to their wedding but is it still not very hurtful if you have guests going around after the wedding saying it was such a boring day.
Well, as the instigator of this thread, the point I was trying to make was that couples spend an absolute fortune on wedding receptions and half the guests don't even enjoy them. It seems like a terrible, terrible waste of money to me. Can you honestly remember what you had to eat at the last wedding you were at, what kind of dresses the bridesmaids wore, or whether the napkins matched the groom's tie and cummerbund. Most weddings cost the equivalent of a year's mortgage or more and most couples are not that flush with money. Yet they hock themselves up to the eyeballs for an occasion that most people don't even really appreciate. I just think most people would be better off having a small and meaningful occasion and saving their money for more important things. Anyway, just my opinion. I'm sure lots of people will disagree.
truthseeker
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Couldnt agree more.
I think people do it because 'its the done thing' as well.
Most married friends of mine didnt even really enjoy the day because its stressful etc, in fact most of them say if they could go back and do it again theyd do a quiet meaningful affair.
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