Pregnant Woman - Told to cover her pregnant stomach

I

Irish Spirit

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I hope you can help me.

I am pregnant and work part time in retail. Yesterday I was serving customers and my boss came in and told me my bump was looking very big and did I not have a cardigan to cover it.

I was wearing a pair of jeans and 2 layered t-shirts that completely covered me and were by no means inappropriate.

I was obvioulsy upset and questioned the boss about it afterwards, saying I didnt think they could ask me to cover my bump. They are stating they have said nothing wrong and Im over reacting. My boss is a woman.

I am naturally deeply upset and don't even want to think about this but I feel I should take this furter just on a point of matter.

Am I over reacting?
Where can I go for informatin on this? employment laws etc?

Many thanks
IS
 
Am I over reacting?
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Yes. What's upsetting for you ? If I worked serving the public I would find it OK for someone to tell me that I should dress appropriately.
 
jhegarty-I usually would but I feel so strongly about this, especially when her excuse for saying it to me was 'because she was worried I was cold'...Im 29 years of age, have worked part time with the business for years and she has never had an issue about what I have worn before either because of how it looks or how cold/warm I may be. Im basically insulted, want an apology and would like her to understand, for her own sake,that you cannot speak to employees like this.
 
Relax Irish spirit, Your manager didn't spit in your face or anything.
You had a concern and raised it with the person involved, they said there is nothing wrong. Is the matter not over?

Why in God's name do you want to know about employment law for such a trival thing.
 
Davyjones- Thank you for your comments.
Do you not think a woman might be insulted if they are told to hide the fact that they are pregnant and that it is inappropriate for an employer to say so?
Would you tell an pregnant EE to cover her pregnant stomach with a jumper/cardigan?
 
Its not so trivial and she wasn't dressed inappropriately . It could be the first step in a campaign of harassment, it is still not at all unusual for pregnant employees to be bullied into quitting so as to save the employer the hassle of maternity leave and so on.

Its the 21st century, it is inappropriate to tell a pregnant employee to hide the evidence.
 
would it not be worse if you weren't pregnant ? I can understand how you feel (well not really, being a man). Do/did you get on well with your boss ?
 
pyrite pete.. :) I can see why you may say it would be worse if I wasnt pregnant (& on that point you can be sure ppl would be kicking up alot more if my ER had told me to cover up my fat stomach!!!) but as a woman nothing cud b worse than to be made feel like your baby is something to be disgusted and ashamed about, and by being asked to hide it is only suggesting that.
 
Irish Spirit said:
Am I over reacting?
IS
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Absolutely not. You have every right to be upset, it was an extremely insensitive comment. Having said that, if it's a one-off comment then I think you should take a deep breath and forget about it.

If it should happen again I would suggest that you ask your manager for the Dress Code Policy and the particular section that you are infringing.

This can be an emotional time for you so just focus on the great things that are happening to you right now and forget about that incident, hopefully there won't be a repeat.

Good luck.
 
i wonder, out of interest NOT to start an arguement, is it generally woman who agree with me and men who are telling me Im over-reacting???
 
Irish Spirit said:
pyrite pete.. :) I can see why you may say it would be worse if I wasnt pregnant (& on that point you can be sure ppl would be kicking up alot more if my ER had told me to cover up my fat stomach!!!) but as a woman nothing cud b worse than to be made feel like your baby is something to be disgusted and ashamed about, and by being asked to hide it is only suggesting that.
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Good point Irish Spirit. WHat happened to a friend of mine on her honeymoon, was that she was asked more than once was she pregnant when she wasn't :eek:

I think you are probably best to leave it go though, blogs like this are great for getting it off your chest - I presume this was covered up too :D
 
I am outraged that anybody should speak in such a way to a pregnant woman: it's highly offensive, and even suggests that there is something unsavoury about pregnancy.

The fact that the boss seemed to come up with a weak excuse afterwards suggests to me that she realised that she was wrong, and is trying to slide away from accepting responsibility for what she said. I think, Irish Spirit, that you may have made your point, and that your chances of getting an apology are probably small.

I was disappointed by the tone of a couple of the responses here. I don't think covering a bump should be regarded as a matter of dress code. If T-shirts are normally accepted as appropriate work attire, then they should be accepted as appropriate for pregnant staff (assuming they fit!).

[As my username suggests, I am male, but I am a new man.]
 
It's dreadful you let the bump get so big. Could you not have had a smaller foetus by smoking?

Yes, I'm being completely sarcastic, since I too can't believe that some people think the manager was in the right to say something like that. I'd be worried too that this is an excuse just to start some kind of process against you.

I would let this incident go as a once off. But I would start to keep a diary of such incidents just in case.
 
Irish Spirit said:
Davyjones- Thank you for your comments.
Do you not think a woman might be insulted if they are told to hide the fact that they are pregnant and that it is inappropriate for an employer to say so?
Would you tell an pregnant EE to cover her pregnant stomach with a jumper/cardigan?
Click to expand...


Did your manager ask you to hide that you were pregnant? or just to cover your belly?. Were you wearing 2 t shirts?, did one finish half way up your bump and the other cover the rest?

Anyhow my point wasn't about you being pregnant, far from it.

your manager said something they probably could have worded better, you confront them, the matter seems settled. Why would you need to know about employment law is my point? Would you consider for one second to sue your employer?
 
no i do not want to sue my ER, I have made it very clear that I just want my boss to understand that you cannot ask a woman to cover her stomach because she is pregnant. I have already said my attire was more than appropriate.The only flesh that was visable was my hands from the wrist and my neck up wards. I do not care to show off the skin on my stomach whether I am pregnant or not.
why do you feel the matter is settled just because I discussed this with my boss?
 
Some of the replies here are an eye opener.

OP your manager had no right to make that comment to you (assuming you were appropriately dressed and from your description it sounds like you were) and it is speaks volumes as to how she perceives you in your current (glowing :D) state.

Good luck with the pregnancy. You shouldn't have to hide it at work.
 
Yes I do, although that depends on if your boss has boss'es and how many.

So did you wear one shirt that was too small and rode up your bump and a larger one inside that to cover rest?
 
I consider a matter resolved when two people discuss it maturely and when one party is in the wrong they admit so, than, and only than is it finalised. I dont think a matter is resolved when one party tells the other party they are over reacting and basically to 'get over it'. That is not how you manage people.

No, everything I wore fiitted perfectly....as I have repeatadly said I was dressed appropriately. I have enough maturity, education, knowledge and experience in life to know what is appropriate to wear to work.
 
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