Pregnant girl looking for abortion money

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Blossy

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sorry if this shouldnt be in AA LAW?

hi, i have a male friend, that slept wiht a girl, who now claims she is pregnant, she is lookng for 700 euros from the father to go to england.

he is fairly sus about the whole thing and has asked her to take a test to prove it to him. she has refused to do so, he is terrified to give the money as she is going to oz at the end of the year and he feels, its towards her travels. he is in the building trade, so will have to get a loan from somewhere to give it to her.

has he any rights here, can he get something to make her show she is preganant. in a mature world, she would take the test but she wont.
she is now claiming she cannot afford it herself so he is ruining both of their lives if he doesnt give her the money.

her exuse is that he should believe her. it is extremely childish. but no matter was is said she refuses to do this. he has called in the troops friends etc to ask her to do it for them and again she refuses to do so!

any suggestions?
 
What reason would she refuse to do the test?
The only one I can think of is that she is not pregnant.
 
exactly, he cant prove it, she is being very difficult. the obvious answer here is to not give her the money, but he is terrified, that if she actually is pregnant, both thier stubborness will bring a child into a terrible situation.

time is a major factor here, he cant get a court order to make her prove she is pregnant? what else can he do? ps they arent that young early - mid 20s
 
What a load of..!

She should produce a valid result - any chemist will have a home test or a doctors note or something.
If not, he should have her charged with blackmail or fraud.

Absolutely disgraceful.:mad: He shouldn't part with a one cent.


And get him some condoms!
 
He should try a response along the lines of "great......I've always wanted children.....can I come along for the first ultrasound scan?". Should flush out any untruthfulness
 
Well the only option if she wont take a test is to wait and see and if so is he willing to pay maintenance and take care of his responsibilities? It doesn't sound like he is the most sensitive guy in the world and I would have thought that 'calling in the troops' was not the right thing to do, if she is pregnant she could be terrified of the prospect of having a child. Has she previous in regards to not being known for her honesty, integrity etc?
 
God, poor girl. Maybe he should try to be a bit more sensitive and actually arrange a time to meet her and talk this through maturely and rationally. If she is pregnant she is probably all over the place emotionally. The last thing she needs is this guy telling all his friends and getting them to target her.

They need to sit down together, alone and sort this. No-one elses business.
 
To be fair, i dont think he knows her all that well, by calling in the troops, i meant that he is trying to be as sensitive as possible by asking her female friends that know the situation to ask her to take a test for them,. they are also doubting the pregnancy! and she has also refused for them.

I agree its a disgraceful situation. the fact he doesnt know her all that well worries him that maybe she will continue the pregnancy, he would support her financially.
 
It sounds odd that she wont take a test to prove she is pregnant? Especially if she definitely wants to have an abortion - one would imagine that she would be eager to prove it to get the money.

If I were the man in this situation Id just politely refuse to hand over any money without proof. Id be more than willing to hand it over with proof.

The thing that doesnt add up is that she might go ahead with the pregnancy - if she is supposed to go away travelling and is asking for money for an abortion then how does this make sense?

If she genuinely wants an abortion she will provide proof of the pregnancy, its unlikely that she will bring a child into the world out of sheer stubbornness.
 
they initially sat down and she told him she was pregnant but was not keeping it, he said fine! was very shocked, then when he thought about it ( and im guessing people put ideas in his head) he decided to ask her for a test. she has refused, and cries and gets upset. he doesnt want to offend her or be mean to her, he just wants the truth. i think th eseed of doubt has grown considerably since she wont take the actual test, it has completely blown out of proportion.

she may just be stubborn, but IMO there is more at stake than pride.
 
He should offer to travel with her and pay for all costs as they come up.
If she is not pregnant then she is unlikely to go through the charade of going abroad to prove a point/try and get money from him.
If she is pregnant then of course he should step up to his responsibilities and they should deal with it the situation together.
 
Thats mad Blossy. I totally agree with the guy in this situation. Id want proof too. He is entitled to proof of pregnancy if he is going to part with 700 quid for an abortion. There is nothing mean about it or offensive IMO.

What reason is there to not give him proof?
 
I think definitely a one-on-one talk. If she cannot prove she is pregnant he should advise her to stop harassing him, then completely ignore her.
 
Sounds like a clever scam but you never know.

I would travel over as well and make all the arrangements for flights etc.
 
Caveat said:
I think definitely a one-on-one talk. If she cannot prove she is pregnant he should advise her to stop harassing him, then completely ignore her.
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Spot on advice - the guy is afraid if he does this and she really IS pregnant that he will end up having to pay maintenance etc.. I doubt this would happen.
 
Purple said:
If she is pregnant is he OK with her killing the baby?
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If you look at an earlier post Blossy said they initially sat down and talked and she told him she was pregnant and not keeping it and he said 'fine' - so presumably yes.

Thats a very harsh way to describe termination of a bunch of cells that may or may not make it to full term - but thats a whole different discussion......
 
hi, i have decided to contact her, and be polite but firm, and state that decision is hers to go to england, if she decides otherwise, to contact him in 9months with a birthcert, and he will have bo problem in supporting the child. If she needs help in paying for england provide proof and he has no problem in doing so, good luck and thanks.

well thats all that can be done, i am showing him this thread because i think he needed unbiased suggestions and a clearer view on other peoples ideas. so thank u all very much! :)
 
Purple said:
If she is pregnant is he OK with her killing the baby?
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to be honest, im not sure has anyone asked him this!! its sad but the way it has worked out! agian another issue, but why does she get the say! :(
 
Blossy said:
she is lookng for 700 euros from the father to go to england.
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is this his half of the expense or does she expect him to foot the entire cost involved?

i think it is a scam, i wonder if this has been tried by her before.
 
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