Why do people have children?

truthseeker said:
Another question that himself and myself have bandied about is this - if we did want children why bring new children into an already overcrowded world, why not adopt a child who needs a home?
Click to expand...
Adopting a child in Ireland is a hundred times more difficult than having your own. There are far more couples seeking children to adopt, than parents giving up their children for adoption. There are a very small number of Irish children being given up for adoption, and there are long waiting lists of Irish couples waiting to adopt.

This drives many Irish couples abroad to China/Belarus/Guatamala etc for overseas adoptions, though I hear that many of these countries will be closed to Irish parents soon due to regulatory changes (Hague convention, I think). They pay tens of thousands of euro in costs/fees/bureacracy/travel. Adopting is not an easy alternative.

I always expected to be a parent, having spent lots of time around cousins/nieces/nephews. Having a child was not as easy as we expected. It was a five-year journey through infertility treatments, with many semen analyses, visits to specialists for meself and herself. Even with the best experts, you basically give up your dignity at an early stage and allow yourself to be poked & prodded & tested as you work towards the ultimate goal. It's a strange experience to meet your next-door neighbour outside the IVF clinic in the early morning rush, as there is only thing that a guy goes to an IVF clinic on his own for! And I had it relatively easy, compared to herself. We were fairly lucky in achieving pregnancy at our first IVF attempt. heard of one couple who when through 10 unsuccessful attempts (at a minimum cost of €3k a time). My advice to those who want kids down the line is not to assume that you'll be able get pregnant on demand. One in five Irish couples has fertility issues.

There is huge, sheer joy and great fun in having a child, particularly as their personalities develop. The pure unconditional love from both sides is unique. Having said that, I'd confess to breathing a sigh of relief when they go down for the evening, or better still, when they go to a friend's party at the weekend, leaving the parents free to enjoy a couple of hours of adult activities.
 
Having kids helps you to pass the decades between when you are too old for nightclubs and yet too young for the zimmer frame!
 
Im not sure if this is completely relevant, but as with alot of people, my first child wasnt planned, i was not at all a 'maternal' person, in fact you could over hear me whilst pregnant, giving out abt the trantrum throwing toddler in the supermarkets!!

For me, having a child is a way to make the world a better place!! now thats hallmark!! :D

But its a blank canvas on which to create a perfect person...ok he is 4 and in my eyes always will be perfect!!

But in a selfish way, its a chance to give my son everything i never had, its a chance to relive my childhood, and try not make mistakes that my parent made, its so tough to make the decisions, like, 'do i take second job so he will have all the best, or not work the second job, so i can spend more time, but that time could be spent fighting because all his friends have things that i cant give him, and in both ways the child looses out.

i think the reason for having children is because hopefully, with each new generation, the mistakes of the past will diminish...its really thinking in an ideal world, but i would decide to have another in the hope, he or she can chnage the world in whatever little possible! :D halmark!!
 
truthseeker said:
Just wondering about peoples thoughts on this.
Click to expand...
The reasons people choose to become parents are many and varied so you won't get a magic bullet answer. I believe that the overwhelming majority of parents would agree that their kids add immeasurable joy to their lives and that they wouldn't be without them. On that basis, unless I was totally opposed to (rather than just being unsure about) having children I'd just go for it.
 
Last edited:
Complainer said:
I always expected to be a parent, having spent lots of time around cousins/nieces/nephews. Having a child was not as easy as we expected. It was a five-year journey through infertility treatments, with many semen analyses, visits to specialists for meself and herself. Even with the best experts, you basically give up your dignity at an early stage and allow yourself to be poked & prodded & tested as you work towards the ultimate goal. It's a strange experience to meet your next-door neighbour outside the IVF clinic in the early morning rush, as there is only thing that a guy goes to an IVF clinic on his own for! And I had it relatively easy, compared to herself. We were fairly lucky in achieving pregnancy at our first IVF attempt. heard of one couple who when through 10 unsuccessful attempts (at a minimum cost of €3k a time). My advice to those who want kids down the line is not to assume that you'll be able get pregnant on demand. One in five Irish couples has fertility issues.
Click to expand...

Me and her also went through IVF and it didn't work for us but we sure spent a lot of cash in pursueing it.

Eventually we got lucky one night.

3 months later she fell on her bump.

It frightened both us to death.

She felt nothing for ages and thought that was that so we rushed into Holles St to check what the story was.

I saw the scanner had a dodgey bit on it it was flickering so I asked the nurse what was wrong with the screen she told me the screen was the best money could buy and that the flicker was my childs heart beat.

We :)d all the way home...

5 and a bit years later....
 
Sue Ellen said:
You're here tormenting us and leaving us wondering .............
Click to expand...

Still :)ing...at least most of the time.

My boy started school last year.

I'll always remember that dodgey flicker on the VDU in the hospital.

It was like a christmas light flickering on and off.

My boy's heart beat......:)
 
Despatch from the Betsy newsroom, Mrs. Betsy gave birth to a strapping boy less than 24 hours ago. Everyone well.

More relaxed this time out, got great view of delivery (not for faint hearted at time, though v normal delivery) and no bother holding & feeding this one.

Though no doubt there'll be some tough times ahead I can honestly say I'm looking forward to it, when I see first buster bustin around the place its all well worthwhile.
 
Betsy Og said:
Despatch from the Betsy newsroom, Mrs. Betsy gave birth to a strapping boy less than 24 hours ago. Everyone well.

More relaxed this time out, got great view of delivery (not for faint hearted at time, though v normal delivery) and no bother holding & feeding this one.

Though no doubt there'll be some tough times ahead I can honestly say I'm looking forward to it, when I see first buster bustin around the place its all well worthwhile.
Click to expand...


Congrats, Thats great news :D
 
Betsy Og said:
Despatch from the Betsy newsroom, Mrs. Betsy gave birth to a strapping boy less than 24 hours ago. Everyone well.

More relaxed this time out, got great view of delivery (not for faint hearted at time, though v normal delivery) and no bother holding & feeding this one.

Though no doubt there'll be some tough times ahead I can honestly say I'm looking forward to it, when I see first buster bustin around the place its all well worthwhile.
Click to expand...

Many congrats and very best wishes on your new arrival!!
 
Betsy Og said:
Despatch from the Betsy newsroom, Mrs. Betsy gave birth to a strapping boy less than 24 hours ago. Everyone well.

More relaxed this time out, got great view of delivery (not for faint hearted at time, though v normal delivery) and no bother holding & feeding this one.

Though no doubt there'll be some tough times ahead I can honestly say I'm looking forward to it, when I see first buster bustin around the place its all well worthwhile.
Click to expand...

Good man Betsy Og

If you're planning to wet the babies head you will invite all the AAMer's of course...

You better get another mortgage if you plan to buy a round:D
 
Betsy Og said:
Despatch from the Betsy newsroom, Mrs. Betsy gave birth to a strapping boy less than 24 hours ago. Everyone well.

More relaxed this time out, got great view of delivery (not for faint hearted at time, though v normal delivery) and no bother holding & feeding this one.

Though no doubt there'll be some tough times ahead I can honestly say I'm looking forward to it, when I see first buster bustin around the place its all well worthwhile.
Click to expand...

Congrats and best wishes to the four of you. Busy times ahead.
 
I can't wait to have kids! I really get great enjoyment out of children and have always known all my life that I wanted kids. Being a mother and having a family is hugely important to me. Some peoples ambition in life is to be really career driven, mine was always to meet Mr. Right and have a family and a nice happy home life. Taboo as I'm sure it is to admit that.

In the meantime I have a dog who is like my baby and I love her to bits.

She doesn't really like me putting dresses on her or bottle feeding her anymore though :(
 
deedee80 said:
I can't wait to have kids! I really get great enjoyment out of children and have always known all my life that I wanted kids. Being a mother and having a family is hugely important to me. Some peoples ambition in life is to be really career driven, mine was always to meet Mr. Right and have a family and a nice happy home life. Taboo as I'm sure it is to admit that.
Click to expand...

Im not remotely career driven. But I dont seem to be family oriented either!!! I never had a defined ambition in life the way you do (and I dont think its a bit taboo btw), with the exception of getting a good education, which Ive done, and am continuing to do. Other than that I just want to be happy and free to enjoy myself in the pursuits of my own interests.

deedee80 said:
In the meantime I have a dog who is like my baby and I love her to bits.
Click to expand...

I definitely understand the 'feeling' in relation to animals.

deedee80 said:
She doesn't really like me putting dresses on her or bottle feeding her anymore though :(
Click to expand...

And I could definitely get down with doing this!!!!
 
Well done BetsyOg. Your life is now screwed so you may as well have more.

We went through IVF for three years after number one without success (we were advised by the doctor in a private IVF clinic in Dublin that a medical condition meant that Mrs Purple would be no more naturally). Over that three years there were a number of miscarriages. Thousands of Euro and six months after we stopped the IVF Mrs Purple found she was pregnant. We are now expecting number 4. It turns out that said medical condition was never there.
 
I was reading this thread yesterday and thinking about it later as I was reading a book and the sentence in the book was ".... makes me feel alive" well, for what its worth, having a child makes me feel alive.
 
erw fran said:
".... makes me feel alive"
Click to expand...

Well said - certainly makes me feel alive and gives me something to really look forward to every evening when I get home.
You just cannot explain the joy/happiness or love for kids as it's certainly uncomparable to any other kinda love I've ever felt....
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top