What surname to give first child?

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I hope you get it sorted RIAD. When I married I didnt take my husbands name immediately. I did find it a bit strange to be honest, like I was losing a bit of my identity. (I remember years back in work, after her honeymoon a staff member sent an email to everyone in the company saying as of X date my surname has changed to Y, all other details remain the same. I was laughing thinking, why what else could change??)
I have an unusual enough surname but so does he. I like both but definitely not into double barrell.
As passport, drivers licence etc expired over the years I changed to his name as I definitely wanted me to have the same name as any children we might have.
I would never dream of saying that the children would be taking my name. Just wouldnt do it! We now have one child and I'm very happy for all 3 of us having the hubbys surname.

I still havent changed it for work and I wont be either.

Best of luck, hope you get it sorted amicably.
 
PaddyW said:
But there's not "lots" really. Like I said, there are a few good for nothings out there, we all know about them, we all abhor them. But there is certainly not "lots" of them, there's lots more fathers that want to be involved and a few who don't.
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Lots might want to be involved but that does not ultimately mean they would like custody - big diffeence between the two
 
RIAD_BSC said:
Thanks
Simple fact is, society values motherhood above fatherhood, and all the "rules" and traditions (with the sole exception of surnames) are stacked in the mother's favour and recognise her pre-emptive surperiority in the parenting process. Fact.

If I wasn't married to my wife, I would have no legal rights whatsoever to the child. If my wife and I got divorced, she would automatically get custody of the child if she wanted it, unless she was insane or an axe-murderer. That's not written in the rules, but it is fact, and everybody knows it. My wife gets 6 months automatically of maternity leave, but there is no paternity leave in Irish law. The list goes on....
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Off topic but I totally agree; men are being removed from any real role in the family unit through legislative bias and blatant anti-men sexism in the media.
foxylady said:
And the whole custody issue may seem unfair to you but to lots of men its ideal as they dont want the responsibility of caring for their kids.
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That’s a disgraceful thing to say. How would you react if a poster said that “plenty” of women are manipulative and heartless and leave their husbands to engage in affairs with other men knowing that he will have to pick up the bill? (not an opinion I agree with; such women are also a small minority.
 
dereko1969 said:
To be honest I get the impression from this "battle" that both you and your wife might have other issues that need addressing.
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Dereko, if you are hinting that perhaps I have marriage difficulties because we are having a disagreement over naming our child, you are putting 2 and 2 together and getting 5. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Have you never had a disagreement with your wife about anything? If so, congratulations, you are possibly alone in the country on that score, and I'll look forward to seeking marriage counselling from you and your perfect marriage in future, if I ever need it. At the moment, I don't need any at all, thank you very much

So I would be grateful if you would refrain from posting this sort of personalised smart comment, such as the above, in future.

And thank you to Ceist Beag, and all the other posters who responded so genuinely to my original query.
 
My wife and I discussed this before I agreed to marry her :p.

At one stage she wanted me to take her surname as she comes from a family that is all female. That was always going to be a non starter. What we went for is, My wife can call herself whatever she likes and the kids have my surname.

I have noticed recently though that she is using my name more and more often. She is still goes by her maiden name in her professional life though.
 
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