Ceist Beag
Registered User
- Messages
- 1,448
My wife and I went through the same issue. She kept her name after marriage and I had no issue with that. Once you've done this, I think it's appropriate for any child to incorporate both names. After all, it's a joint production. It's not a "gift" from the wife to the husband.
We realise that some people have an issue with this but ultimately we don't care.
I was referring to them being delighted to have custody or joint custody of their kids. Unfortunately in a lot of these cases they are denied it by the mother who automatically gets custody.
Staples that's fair enough but I'm genuinely curious about how you think it will work when your child has children of his/her own (possibly with the partner also having a double-barrelled surname)?
"And the whole custody issue may seem unfair to you but to lots of men its ideal as they dont want the responsibility of caring for their kids."
Terrible statement. There may be a few good for nothings out there, but the majority of men are only too happy to be a big part of their childrens' lives. Some haven't been allowed to, but most men given this opportunity would be only too delighted to have it.
For a father, passing on your family name is an important way to forge an immediate bond with the child. Women underestimate just how important this is to a man, and dismiss it all too easily. But to me, it is hugely important.
I believe in Spain it is normal for a child to be basically given its 2 grandfathers name:Staples that's fair enough but I'm genuinely curious about how you think it will work when your child has children of his/her own (possibly with the partner also having a double-barrelled surname)?
I believe in Spain it is normal for a child to be basically given its 2 grandfathers name:
Mary Murphy O'Connor marries John McCarthy O'Sullivan and their child is called Priscilla McCarthy Murphy. Priscilla's child with her husband Manuel Rodriguez Ortega would be called Camilla Rodriguez McCarthy.
I gather it's not common for a wife to change her name on marriage either.
Sybil
It maybe a terrible statement and I probably should have worded it better , however I did say "lots" and not all and I am sure there are plenty of people out there who would agree with this statement so I still stand by it
I guess it's easier when the tradition is that each parent gets one surname input (I assume they can choose to pass on their mother's instead of their father's)Yes I suppose my point is Sybil that again here a tradition exists in Spain where the grandmothers name is dropped from the surname of the grandchild. What if one of the parents dug their heels in and insisted that they wanted their mothers name kept as well? i.e. in your example what if Mary or John insisted they wanted little Priscilla to keep O'Connor or O'Sullivan in the surname? It could get quite messy couldn't it!
My child was born and I gave him double barrell as we werent married (2 yr ago) We got married a couple of months ago and I was all for changing my name.. but get this... My husband wants me to keep my own name and he wants our child to have double barrell or MINE! He said he isnt keen on his own name, although I like it, and he just wants me to keep my own identity etc!!! HOw times are changing!!!!
So I suggest you just lighten up about it.. Its only a name and to be honest, there is so many worse things that could happen and a name wont matter at the end of the day..
my hubbie actually uses my surname for table bookings etc as its easier to spelll etc then his!!!
LOL
Of course not. Your wife should have changed her name upon marriage. Not because she had to but because she didn't have to and as a sign of commitment. That she didn't is her own issue but the children should have your name. It's more practical and makes sense (leave double-barrel names to the crazy Spanish).Am I a neanderthal, or is she being unfair by not even entertaining the idea of allowing the child to have my name?
Very interesting and looks coldly at what could be an emotional choice. But personally I think that the wife of the OP has other issues.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?