Remortgaging to finance a wedding

aircobra19 said:
Sometimes its often more appropriate than 5 toasters, from the "gift buying challenged" when you quite like the one you have, or money is tight for a couple.
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Exactly. Friends of mine are getting married in couple of weeks. They welcome gifts but if guests wanted to pay cash, they set up an account with a travel agent that people could lodge money into to pay for the honeymoon. Personally I don't see anything tacky in that.
 
Each to their own as far as I can see. I don't think the purpose of a wedding is to raise cash - guests should give whatever they feel is appropriate. I also don't think people should borrow money or re-mortgage property to have a wedding. It's a big decision to make and you should save for it when you decide it's right for you and don't spend beyond your means. If you come out the other end with extra cash then look on it as a bonus and not "what you're due".
 
True, the purpose of a wedding is not to raise cash, but at the same time it's not to have two people get swamped with debt either. If you think it's "rude" for them to ask you for money, yet at the same time you're happy to attend and eat the nice expensive dinner that they are paying for, well... I think there's something wrong there.

And I don't think it's good enough to say "Well, that's their decision to get into debt..." Maybe in that case you should be the bigger (wiser?) person and refuse the invite - meaning one less dinner that they have to pay for. At least that way your gift can be not contributing to the problem.
 
I assumed that if people are prepared to spend 10's of thousands on 1 day that they must have money to burn.

There are cheaper ways of getting married and it is not acceptable to spend gargantuan quantities of cash on a pantomime and then expect your guests to foot the bill for your foolishness.
 
mayway said:
I assumed that if people are prepared to spend 10's of thousands on 1 day that they must have money to burn.

There are cheaper ways of getting married and it is not acceptable to spend gargantuan quantities of cash on a pantomime and then expect your guests to foot the bill for your foolishness.
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What a sad outlook on life! People spend thousands on 1 day because they want it to be special and if you are invited then its because they want to share their special day with you. Do you give huge gifts to a couple who have a cheaper wedding as they might appear to need the money more? ;)
I sincerely hope that you do not attend any wedding which you get invited to if this is your attitude as it would be hypocritical in the extreme to attend a wedding and enjoy the surroundings, food and entertainment which the couple have provided. It is their big day and they are free to choose how much/little to spend. While I agree that the guests should not have to give a bigger gift because the couple choose a more expensive than average wedding, a gift is polite and shows that you are grateful for being considered important enough to share the day.
 
People need to put it into perspecitive and not get carried away with spending lots of money on frills unless they can afford it. If you can afford it then why not. But I wouldn't take out a big loan to have a big wedding. I don't see the logic in that.

Theres ways of reducing a wedding bill. Borrow a friends fancy car and get them to drive. Find a friend whos a decent photographer to take pictures. If you still need a pro, only use them for formal photos. Things like that. My brother in law borrowed his CEO' car from work. I know friends who instead of going to a hotel for reception, hired a venue somewhere else and brought in their own caterer and wine etc. Keep tight control of the numbers of guests etc.
 
Some people (myself included) can't understand why others would spend tens of thousands on their wedding never mind it being money that some cannot afford and which they need to borrow in the first place. On the other hand if some are happy to do so then that's their prerogative and it's up to them to consider the implications of paying this off for years to come in many cases. Each to his/her own.
 
I do not agree with mayway, that it is foolish to spend thousands on a wedding. In Ireland, all aunts & uncles will expect to be invited to the wedding. Then, by the time you have paid for these, close friends & work colleagues, the wedding no.s will go to 150 people. Even if you cut back on food/drink etc, the wedding will still cost a lot, just to have the basic 3 or 4 course meal.

I find there is no happy medium in Ireland without offending people. If you just have a family wedding, you may only have 15 or 20 people. This is not really enough to have a 'party' atmosphere. Then if you have 60 or 80 people, you will probably have to leave out some relations/close friends etc, but you will have the band & 'party' atmosphere.

We had 80 people last year. It still cost about 14K for the whole wedding, excluding the honeymoon. We still offended some of my husbands relations, as we didn't ask them all. (He has a large extended family, whereas I have less relations). Even if you have 80, you still have to do things right re: food & drink.
 
I hear you, buzybee. That's why we are thinking of heading abroad and just having a party when we get home. Weddings here have reached heights of expense that we just feel aren't justified.
 
shnaek said:
I hear you, buzybee. That's why we are thinking of heading abroad and just having a party when we get home. Weddings here have reached heights of expense that we just feel aren't justified.
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So just do what suits you personally. Don't feel pressurised or obliged to do something that does not suit you just because others do it or expect you to do it or think that you need to flee abroad to avoid certain hassle or expense.
 
shnaek said:
I hear you, buzybee. That's why we are thinking of heading abroad and just having a party when we get home. Weddings here have reached heights of expense that we just feel aren't justified.
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I agree. We're heading to Mauitus in 2 weeks time and when we get back have booked a meal for 50. Still expensive but no more that 13 - 14k all inc.
 
We got engaged recently and a friend bought us a copy of a book called 'how to have a champagne wedding on a buck's fizz budget'. It's really good, it's Irish so all of the examples used are specific to this country and it contains loads of useful tips. Recommended!!! :)
I have to say I think 'to each his / her own' when it comes to weddings, but in my case 'my own' certainly wouldn't involve a remortgage! The weddin' cake will be well gone off in 35 years time!
 
outspann said:
If you think it's "rude" for them to ask you for money, yet at the same time you're happy to attend and eat the nice expensive dinner that they are paying for, well... I think there's something wrong there.
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Normally when you are invited by someone to a meal you are not expected to foot the bill, yet many people getting married consider that guests should at least "cover the cost of their plate". I think this is rude and tacky of the newly marrieds.
 
Sorry, apologies if this has been said - haven't read the full thread but the title says it all. We spent around €1000 on our wedding - everyone had a good time etc etc.

I'm sure it's been said - each to their own - but remortgaging!?!?!?

Crazy IMHO.
 
this particular subject is almost as sensitive as talking about "property prices in ireland" !
 
brodiebabe said:
Normally when you are invited by someone to a meal you are not expected to foot the bill, yet many people getting married consider that guests should at least "cover the cost of their plate". I think this is rude and tacky of the newly marrieds.
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i agree - outspann, when you invite someone out to dinner to celebrate with you, do you ask them to go dutch? don't think so.

Does nobody else think this a a joker/troll/ st???
Anyone earning 100k+ with an interest only mortgage has issues with cash flow management in my opinion so taking on more debt for a wedding is a bit mad - considering they already have 3/4 of the amount they want to remortgage for anyway.
 
Bucks's Fizz contains about half the amount of champagne as a full glass of champagne... at least I'm guessing that's what the title is about... Good book though!!!
 
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