Most hated phrases & management speak

To be honest, I don't think that "going forward" and "touch base" are as bad as some of the other nonsensical ones mentioned here.

At least they mean something. Going forward is one I use from time to time and when appropriate.

I had a boss before who was full of them. "Ducks in a row", "no re-inventing the wheel", "singing from the same hymm sheet" and "we need to play this one by note" were his favourites.

My uses "all that good stuff" for everything he doesn't want to go into detail on.
 
Can I add in an acronym I received this morning? Out of office reply thing:

"I am OOO until..."

OOO?!!!! I thought it was a typo. Dear oh dear...
 
Cabaiste said:
To be honest, I don't think that "going forward" and "touch base" are as bad as some of the other nonsensical ones mentioned here.
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Try using "in the future" instead of "going forward" and "talk briefly" instead of "touch base".
 
Its a no brainer.

At the end of the day.

Absolutely.

Batten down the hatches.

Synergise (what does it mean, sounds painful)

Emails with 'thanking you in anticipation of your assistance'
 
boaber said:
Management Speak in song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx_hpZkWgCY
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That's so cringeworthy, it's good in a kind of David Brent way.

Years ago I had a manager who used to talk in what could could only be called his own dialect of management speak, in that very few people knew what the hell he was talking about. Some of them eventually got translated.

"The streets are well-aired" (The sales staff are spending too much time indoors.)

"A bazzer, I see" (An employee got a short haircut.)

"The hickory shaft" (Golf)

"It's a bit like the fox, the goose and the beans" confused
 
Thanks. At the risk of sounding like some elderly relative, we didn't have the internet when I worked with this character and I never thought to look it up since. You've solved an age-old mystery for me.
 
Rico said:
Its a no brainer.

At the end of the day.

Absolutely.

Batten down the hatches.

Synergise (what does it mean, sounds painful)

Emails with 'thanking you in anticipation of your assistance'
Click to expand...

eeeehhhh Rico... just to fine tune that one, when someone says this it is usually as .........

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!
 
I finally got some face time with him and as his line manager I ran this thought grenade past him, that the bottom line mandated that it wasn't rocket science to think outside the box. It was a no brainer that the audit trail would impact on the ball park. Not the sharpest knife in the box he'd brigaded the sheep dip, reinventing the wheel as he did so. It was a wake up call that being a team player on the gound and using joined up thinking had to be an integral part of his core competencies. There was no such thing as a free lunch, after all.
 

All the low-hanging fruit was eaten then?
 
Had a boss who used to come up with the following...

" oh yeah, straight from the fridge!" ...i.e cool

"What's cookin?" ....i.e.what's the latest news on the business front.

"Did the rubber hit the road?" ...i.e. did we do the business

"deliverables" ....still don't know what that truly means?

"You're talkin' hygeine factor here"...means it should be taken as given.

"Mmmmm...synergies" - not sure what he meant but sounded like Homer Simpson.

"Quality is a journey, not a destination"....aaaaaagh.
 
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"our greatest asset is our people"
hard to believe first person to coin this phrase was Stalin!!!
Enough said!
 
Hve to admit I use "touch base". My other current phrase at the minute is "single point of failure".

Trouble is if you spend your day with people talking management speak, you get into using it yourself. It's like being overseas and learning a foreign language

My boss recently did ask me to bite the bullet on an issue, put the best foot forward and steer the client to where we need them to go. I hate multi-tasking!!!!
 
'touch base', that brings back awful memories!!!!!!!!!! another I hate when argueing a point that you know the opposition is not paying heed off is 'you are speaking to the converted here'
 
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