How much for a groomsman to give as wedding present?

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decembersal

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Anyone any clue how much cash a groomsman would be expected to give as a wedding present? 500e has been mentioned - seems a lot?
 
That seems like a savage amount, but I'm not married so don't go by me! You could get a good idea on www.weddingsonline.ie
Could you give €200 and a little gift. That seems more than generous.
Are you excited about it?
 
See this thread for a similar question:



I'm going to be bridesmaid for my sister next year - to be honest I'll be more inclined to give less/a smaller present because I'll be incurring more costs and only have a finite amount to spend. I've offered to cover the costs of my dress, shoes etc and will also be paying for hotel room (which, for at least the night before the wedding, will have to be in the same place as she is staying so no chance to get cheaper b&b) so just won't have a lot left for a present.

To me this question is like asking how long is a piece of string - I hate the fact that people seem to often think there is a set amount which must be given. It should always depend on how much you have available and the people involved.
 
Depends. Are you a friend or a brother? I would have thought you do not have to give extra just because you are a groomsman. The standard amt. like a normal guest I would have thought.

Our groomsman did not give a large present in the region of 500 - that seems excessive to me.

Maybe about 100 if you are on your own but if your bringing a guest 150 and a sml gift aswell.
 
I would say its all relative. If 500e isnt a lot to you then 500 it is. It also depends on where the wedding is. If you have to spend a few bob trekking down the country, staying in the hotel, buying clothes, maybe take a day off work, maybe getting a babysitter, price of drink for yourself plus partner, youd be doing well to get change of 500e anyway. If 500e is a lot to you then Id say 100e.
If the couple getting married are the type to say" soandso only gave 100 euro" then I wouldnt worry about them at all. Anyway, anyone whose got married recently will tell you theyll be too busy opening other envelopes to worry about who gave what unless it very large or very small.
 
I second car's comments. Our/My(?) Best Man (16 years ago, mind... :eek: ) gave us nothing but heart attacks at the church and copious, affectionate abuse at the speeches. But he did it all with such effortless, good-natured charm, etc. that we wouldn't have dreamed of expecting any other present from him. The BM is expected to (a) show up sober, and remain more or less that way until the mysterious 'critical event horizon' moment has safely passed, (b) take the blame for everything that goes wrong, weather included, (c) deal charmingly and tactfully with your mad old aunt/alcoholic uncle, when the time comes to cart them off.

In other words - The Wedding already 'costs' the BM more than any other guest/participant, except for the FoTB (?), and often for precious little thanks. IMHO, Best Men should receive (token) gifts, not be expected to give them! (and no, I've yet to be one myself, in case you're wondering...)
 
Hi

Speaking as a former bestman, I think I gave somewhere in the region of 250-300 about 2 years ago & at that time, felt that was even a bit on the high side (but feared being considered mean). I also incurred significant additional cost given the various bits & bobs which had to be done ... all good fun, reflecting back on it, I grant you.

BTW, is it reasonable to expect a gift from the bride & groom, in return for playing a role at the wedding ?

Cheers

G>
http://www.rpoints.com/newbie
 
Janet said:
to be honest I'll be more inclined to give less/a smaller present because I'll be incurring more costs and only have a finite amount to spend.
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I'm with Janet on this one. Am a groomsman myself this year, and apart from having to take 3 days off work for the wedding, I'm expected to provide own suit "to match" that of the groom, and have all the travel and hotel expenses as well.

The happy couple will happily get all my time and effort to help them out on their big day, and the day before, and the day after, which I reckon is more valuable than any gift (cash or present).
 
ClubMan said:
Are people talking hard cash here or a present worth the amounts stated?
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Hard Earned Cash ... it seems to be a regular request from couples getting hitched these days also :(
 
I think I'd give it a miss if people were as presumptuous as to dictate what they expected from guests.
 
ronan_d_john said:
The happy couple will happily get all my time and effort to help them out on their big day, and the day before, and the day after, which I reckon is more valuable than any gift (cash or present).
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If you were not the best man, what size pressie would you give him?

If there were no presents involved, would you expect to be paid for being best man?

Do you feel honoured to be asked and proud to do the job?

Try not to be mean minded about it (not saying you are), as this can niggle at you long after the wedding day. Personally I like to do the right thing, even if I get let dowm myself sometimes.

Hope this helps.
 
I have recently been a best man and woud agree with DrMoriarty in that the Best Man and groomsmen have a role to play in the wedding and while it is fun and an honour you are 100% on duty for the day.

Myself and my fiancee did give a gift of about 170 or so in value. (which I expect was around average for our age group) Some people do ask for cash these days, usually 'cause they are moving into a new house and cash will allow them to get what they want, rather than the ten toasters they might otherwise receive.

I think a rough calculation of the gift value is that it should cover the expense paid by the couple to-be-wed to have you there e.g. the meal and the cost of the venue.

Finally, the groom went halves with me on my suit as he wanted us all to have the same colour and didn't feel we should have to go to too much expense. As far as I know it is common for the groom to pay for the rental of any specific clothing, and traditionally some small gift would be made by the groom to his bm and groomsmen as thanks for fulfilling their duties.
 
muzaway said:
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I think a rough calculation of the gift value is that it should cover the expense paid by the couple to-be-wed to have you there e.g. the meal and the cost of the venue.
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This is what I particularly hate - I'd prefer to be sent an invoice for the day out instead! If a couple can't afford to do a big day out they should opt for a simpler celebration. I think it's a shame people buy into wanting all the trimmings that the magazines say they should have and end up taking loans out and all sorts to pay for it and wind up hoping they'll get enough cash as presents to cover the expense.
 
I think weddings are really gone out of hand. €500 seems like loads to me to give as a gift. Fair enough a parent giving you that much, but I don't know anyone my age who has that type of money to just give away.
There seems to be an awful lot of pressure on people to have the exact same weddings. I'll never understand it.
I know I'm soppy but, what has any of that garbage got to do with love?
A friend of mine here told me about a couple who got married recently and spent €48,000+ on their wedding and have to go and live in her parents house because they have absolutely no money, only debts after the huge extravigant wedding. Hope it was a good day :D
 
three summons this year. first and second €250. third will be more as its a favourite. however two years ago was summoned by a friend/work colleague of my wife. Wife was invited to a pre wedding party about a week or so before the actual event. during this party bride was showing some of the pressies already received and casually mentioned about getting money from lots of people which apparantly included a few pressies of €100 which the bride considered 'mean'. God be with the days when we got married. lucky if you didnt get Jonesboro delph or blankets.
 
BlueSpud said:
Try not to be mean minded about it (not saying you are), as this can niggle at you long after the wedding day.
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I'll still give the nominal €100 gift voucher.

I reckon these days there's no point putting any more effort into something like wedding presents. It's not appreciated, really!

How many times do you hear of the "dreaded present" that people get and have to hide in the attic?

I only just discovered that you can have a wedding list, have everyone buy off the list for you, and then just go in and have the money value translated into vouchers so you don't even have to be delivered what you put on the list in the first place.
 
ronan_d_john said:
I only just discovered that you can have a wedding list, have everyone buy off the list for you, and then just go in and have the money value translated into vouchers so you don't even have to be delivered what you put on the list in the first place.
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Ah yes, the wedding list - I'm a really big fan of wedding lists. I've even offered to set up a Tupperware wedding list for my sister - she could get lots of things she likes/needs and I could make a profit (which I'd probably end up spending on her day anyway!) so it's one of those win-win situations :)
 
When we got married a few years back myself and the wife explicitly told people not to buy us presents, because there was nothing that we really needed, and to give the money to charity instead if they still felt obliged. Think people would listen? No.... :rolleyes:
 
Same here......we were already living together in England and owned (mortgaged) our own house and wanted nothing other than for our friends to enjoy themselves and be happy for us. A few had to go and do something like the obligatory toaster (for a laugh), someone else bought us two trees to plant in the garden and everybody else did as they were told.

If they want a "bells & whistles" wedding they should politely not expect everybody to be able to afford suit hire, hotel accomodation, over priced drinks etc. etc. and give them a "bung".

So to answer the original question...look at what they already have, what you can afford (without digging the credit card in deeper) and make a calculated decision. If they think mean of you then are the right friends in the first place.

It does cost money for a wedding but they should tailor the wedding to their budget not expectation.

A wedding is a time for joy and celebration not an income generating event!
 
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