*sigh!*
Jeez Louise! This kinda question, as other regulars may know, is a pet peeve of mine. Don't get your knickers in a knot about spending money on stuff you don't have to spend money on. Save your pennies for stuff that really matters. Of course if a bling bling ring and even blinger (is that a word?) wedding really matters to you then go mad. But be warned, these things seem like they matter an awful lot more before the event than afterwards!
Ok, ok, its easy for me to say. My tastes don't run to expensive rings (or other jewelery for that matter) ... and if you think the ring is expensive wait until you tot up the wedding!
I really don't get why people say they can't afford to get married ... sheesh! You mean you can't afford an ostentatious wedding that's beyond the means of most but which (too) many people feel obliged to stage (for many and varied reasons) and which frankly ends up being like every other wedding you've ever been to for all the expense (I'm hitting the age where my friends are queuing up to march up the aisle and can attest from my now not-so-limited experience that throwing more money at the event will not make it more enjoyable or more memorable).
I've told the story of my own yellow-pack, budget wedding on this board before (short summary: 1999, £2,800 for everything (I mean everything, including knickers!!) for church wedding followed by reception for about 75 people with food, wine and music flowing for the whole day). But if that's not enough to convince you that you don't need to break the bank to have a meaningful, memorable and fun wedding day here's the story of friends of ours who had the misfortune to bugger up the paperwork for their wedding. Consequently they found out several months after their Big Day (traditional gig, unfortunately they didn't enjoy it much, not least because of a bought of food poisoning on the wedding night which led to the cancellation of the honeymoon) that they weren't actually legally married. So they set (another) wedding date at the local registry office and invited immediate family along. The family dressed up to the nines and the bride and groom turned up in jeans and T-shirts. Once all the necessaries were completed at the registry office they headed off to McDonald's (or was it KFC?). The groom went up to the counter and ordered for the gang. He said the look on the assistant's face was priceless when he asked if they had anything really special (kidding) because it was for a wedding, like? Definetely a memorable day if not to everyone's taste!
Anyhoo (I'm obviously in the mood for a good rant this morning!), I didn't want an engagement ring (which will probably not come as a surprise to you at this stage) but himself insisted that its the done thing and he's going to get me a bloody ring. I hurumphed and stomped about the place for a while and steered him clear of jewelery shops. Then we were in Australia having done the back-packing thing for a few months (excellent pre-marriage course - if you can survive driving through the outback together without feeding one another to the kanagaroos you're probably going to survive most of what life might throw at you). We were wandering the streets of Sydney trying to flog our oul' banger of a jalopy when we passed by the window of Cash Converters, a second hand shop. In the window, amongst the surf boards and electric guitars was a small jewelery section and in that jewelery section was a little ring. And a few minutes later we had bought the ring (I only conceded because it was pretty cheap at AUS$900, about £400 at the time). We hadn't a notion whether is was silver or platinum, diamond or glass. We took the shop at their word and it turned out to be good as did the ring. A subsequent insurance evaluation in 1998 confirmed it was a 0.5 carat diamond set in a platinum ring with an estimated worth of £1,700. And its purty too!
I don't necessarily recommend taking our route. We could, I suppose, just as easily ended up with an expensive piece of glass. But we took a chance and it worked out well for us.
Anyway, I'm going to stop yakking now and wish well in your forthcoming nuptiuals and beyond and in the run-up to the big event keep perspective on what you're doing and why you're doing it. And enjoy it.
Anyone else?