Best Man Speech

I've never been a Best Man but I do think that guys worry too much about the speech.

I have heard dozens and they are all pretty much the same. Most are just about funny, and people will laugh at gags they have heard so many times before to be polite.

At my wedding my best man did one which I hadn't heard before tbh, it was something about history repeating itself, and how 29yrs earlier my wife's father had also packed her off to bed with a dummy.
 
Bill Struth said:
As well as that, you hear one best mans speech and you've more or less heard them all, rubbish jokes and congratulations.
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I disagree - I'd feel cheated without a good speech or two. Particularly for those who only one or other of the happy couple, it's always nice to get a bit of an insight into their background.
 
Just want to run this by you all to see what you think. Bride is from kerry and the groom is from tipp.. I was thinking something along the lines of

Well, as you know herself is from kerry and himself is from tipp. I wonder how that'll work out tonight. Herself will bring the poise, the power and the romance associated with the kingdom. Himself, on the other hand will just whip the hurl out and it's game on!!

Too crude? Or light hearted enough that I might get away with it?!!
 
PaddyW said:
Just want to run this by you all to see what you think. Bride is from kerry and the groom is from tipp.. I was thinking something along the lines of

Well, as you know herself is from kerry and himself is from tipp. I wonder how that'll work out tonight. Herself will bring the poise, the power and the romance associated with the kingdom. Himself, on the other hand will just whip the hurl out and it's game on!!

Too crude?
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Yep
 
I remember a wedding where the best man spoke generously about how well the groom (his brother) had done over his professional working life. "and yet", he continued, "he isn't the least bit showy. In fact, you could go to the pub with him and you wouldn't think he had a penny!"

Witty, sharp, inoffensive and appeals to a wide audience. Won't discomfort the wedding party.
 
PaddyW said:
Just want to run this by you all to see what you think. Bride is from kerry and the groom is from tipp.. I was thinking something along the lines of

Well, as you know herself is from kerry and himself is from tipp. I wonder how that'll work out tonight. Herself will bring the poise, the power and the romance associated with the kingdom. Himself, on the other hand will just whip the hurl out and it's game on!!

Too crude? Or light hearted enough that I might get away with it?!!
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It's funny but yes too crude!
 
PyritePete said:
if the majority are GAA fans then say it...we've all become so PC that some funny stuff gets omitted
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There are plenty of GAA fans who would consider it crude and inappropriate for a wedding. They're not all pint-swilling, pot-bellied hicks you know.
 
Staples said:
There are plenty of GAA fans who would consider it crude and inappropriate for a wedding. They're not all pint-swilling, pot-bellied hicks you know.
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I am a GAA fan, played all my life both hurling & football and I'm not a pint swilling pot-bellied hick either. Loads of guests at our wedding played GAA or their girlfriends/wives would have attended matches, functions etc over the years too.

My point remains about society being too PC...it takes a brave man to say things that others "deem" PC. Frankie Boyle springs to mind...
 
PaddyW said:
Just want to run this by you all to see what you think. Bride is from kerry and the groom is from tipp.. I was thinking something along the lines of

Well, as you know herself is from kerry and himself is from tipp. I wonder how that'll work out tonight. Herself will bring the poise, the power and the romance associated with the kingdom. Himself, on the other hand will just whip the hurl out and it's game on!!

Too crude? Or light hearted enough that I might get away with it?!!
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I don't think it's that crude really. On the other hand, to be perfectly honest, I simply don't think it's funny either (sorry) - which is probably more pertinent!
 
PyritePete said:
My point remains about society being too PC...it takes a brave man to say things that others "deem" PC. Frankie Boyle springs to mind...
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Yeah but you can choose whether you want to see Frankie Boyle or not. I find him funny but I wouldn't watch him in front of my Mother-in-Law out of respect for her sensibilities.

Weddings are generally dignified occasions with a strong family element (children, grannies, etc). Not the setting for barroom humour IMHO.
 
PyritePete said:
I am a GAA fan, played all my life both hurling & football and I'm not a pint swilling pot-bellied hick either. Loads of guests at our wedding played GAA or their girlfriends/wives would have attended matches, functions etc over the years too.

My point remains about society being too PC...it takes a brave man to say things that others "deem" PC. Frankie Boyle springs to mind...
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There's PC and there's understanding the situation you are in. Two sets of parents sitting beside you, grannies and children in front of you, the priest possibly and so on. You can be funny without being crude and as Cavaet stated it isn't funny in the first place, it's more like a child saying a bold thing for effect than real humour.
 
other posters have found it funny and some have said they have not found it crude either.

A lot of you seem to be missing the point here - the words PaddyW is thinking of saying (and also stronger words) are used in GAA matches every week all over the country. So I dont believe what PaddyW is thinking of saying would necessarily offend anyone.

Over to you paddyW
 
I aggree with Complainer. I seen Frankie Boyle in Vicar street recently and while some of his material was very funny, some of the stuff about disabled people was not funny and just said to be offensive or controversial.

I did best man once and just stuck with some material about how they met, interests, jobs etc. If you get a few laughs and say some nice things it will be a job well done. It's worse to have someone speak for ages and bore people
 
Complainer, you are moving the goalposts/off topic here...I dont mind.

Take Tommy Tiernan, he was fairly unrepentant about his jokes recently on Liveline. Jokes are jokes was his point as is mine.
 
PyritePete said:
Complainer, you are moving the goalposts/off topic here...I dont mind.
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In all fairness, I'm responding to your off-topic point. I guess that given we are in the 'shooting the breeze' section, it's not a huge deal either way.

PyritePete said:
Take Tommy Tiernan, he was fairly unrepentant about his jokes recently on Liveline. Jokes are jokes was his point as is mine.
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So just to be clear, you are OK with using Paki jokes (ref Bernard Manning), Biafra/Ethopia 'skinny' jokes, spa/crip/looney bin jokes, poof/fag/queer jokes and all that other stuff that used to be considered 'comedy' prior to 1980?
 
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