Another child gone

Bill Struth said:
Who's pontificating? Are you saying that only people with kids are allowed to have an opinion?
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I found the line that I quoted to be a little condescending considering the poster wasn't speaking from experience but from an theoretical future position.
I have often seen (family members included) change their tunes once the reality of parenthood hits them. That's all that I'm saying. To maintain the most desirable standards of parenting requires a lot of personal sacrifices and not all are prepared to make those sacrifices. I'm not suggesting that this applies to any askaboutmoney subscribers.
 
terrontress said:
Well, while I might have wanted a tv in the room at the age of 12, I am now glad as an adult that I was never allowed it. I know watching tv is often frowned upon but there was always great craic watching tv in our house together. I may have ended up as a 12 year old watching the Golden Girls on a Friday evening, but I did it with my family.

I have a cousin whose child, at the age of 10, has a flatscreen telly in her room and my cousin sees nothing wrong with her watching Girls of the Playboy Mansion!

On the odd occasion that I may have been sick and my dad moved the portable in to my bedroom; at least I had to get out of bed to change the channel!

I am sounding more and more like a grumpy old man. :mad:
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I don't even have a tv in my own bedroom! :)
 
I don't have kids but my best friend seems to have it sussed.

PC is in the kitchen and they monitor the history every so often. Facebook is allowed but parent have access to it or all deals off. Initially they were no facebook/mobile until the age of 16 but you can't keep saying no.

As a treat say when there is a sleepover, a portable TV is put into the to room to watch a DVD and taken out the next morning.

When she's allowed out she gets a curfew of say 10 and if she's late by 15 minutes - the next curfew is 9.45 and so on. They stuck to this and now she never misses her curfew.

No way is she out wandering at 12 mn but they live a little outside the town but I do see youngsters near me out well after 11.

All in all the 14 year seems happy and so are the parents.
 
Firefly said:
Also, I think that parents should educate themselves regarding the dangers of online communications (Facebook, Twitter etc).
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Indeed, education is good and more is needed. But there is a danger of scapegoating of the bad ould Internet stuff too - it is a hugely valueable tool (just like the telephone, or the postal system) and it needs to be used responsibly.
 
When will people see the elephant in the discussion? Parents allowing their children out at twelve midnight didn't rape, beat and strangle a 12 year old girl. People allowing tv or pc access didn't either or organise a child abuse pay per view session on the internet.

Basic fact: Men are the predators, women and children (and sometimes men) are the prey. The murder of a child is 'relatively' rare. The rape and beating is far more commonplace. Happens all day everyday; usually behind closed doors.

Before everyone loses their reason: I am married to the best man in the world, and the mother of 3 sons. I have never been a rape victim. I know that they and most men are decent and good. BUT. The vast majority of violence against men, women and children is perpetrated by men. It is not unusual. It is an everyday occurance throughout the world and it will not improve until men decide it will. Just watch the marginal influence on the figures by the Rape Crisis Centre, child abuse organisations etc.

I was so heartened to hear the Men's Development Network to speak out on this issue on the radio during the week. It was so notable due to it's rarity. Women's groups speak out most commonly on the issue and therefore it's considered to be a women's issue as opposed to a human race and civilisation issue.

Just to reiterate. I know that what happened to that child and so many other women and children is repugnant to most if not many men in society. However it is men who perpetrate this on a consistent, regular basis in every country in the world. Men have to take it on. From the basic : "Look at the tits on 'that'" , dehumanising way of looking at half the human race, to the nod and the wink that goes with "oh your man's off to Thailand" way of verbalising the routine acceptance of the way things are.

Women can and do facilitate, enable and occasionally engage in child abuse. It is almost never in isolation and almost always due to a financial or romantic or abusive relationship with a man and with the man/men the instigator. This is borne out by international statistics and represents less than 5% of known abuse.

I absolutely love and adore my sons and my husband. I think they are worth better than absorption into a culture which tolerates this fundamental disrespect of half of the population of the world.

A.
 
"Just watch the marginal influence on the figures by the Rape Crisis Centre, child abuse organisations etc."

It has been widely proven that majority of men will not report a sexual crime being committed against them regardless of whether their attacker is a man or woman. (Rape Crisis Centre ran very publicised ad campaign about this type of crime)
 
I have to agree with Ali.
While in everyday little ways I find women far more sexist than men in the end, when it comes to violent and sexual crimes, it is almost always men who are the perpetrators. Parents who do not educate their children to respect others, who think it’s alright to foster an racist or misogynistic atmosphere in the home, who expose or allow their children to be exposed to violent or sexual images at a young age, are creating an environment in which children can develop into the sort of people who perpetrate these crimes.
 
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