Currently going through a seperation process following my ex-wifes affair (which continues). I would describe the situation as unamicable. We are currently engaging with a mediator to decide who is going with what.
My situation: early 40's on €70,000 gross pa. I also own land which I farm, and I would value it at €600,000. I have paid and continue to pay all bills and cover the full mortgage.
Her situation: early 40's home maker. In the past, she ran her own cash business from the house; modest source of income but welcome none the less. This ceased c. 2 years ago, however, she now has asperations to begin a new work-from-home venture.
Joint mortgage: House value roughly €400,000 with 25 years remaining on an outstanding mortgage principal of €150,000. House built on the farm.
Two young dependents. We are all living together at present.
Neither of us can afford to buy each other out of the house. She has a preference to stay in the family home. I am prepared,
1. to guarantee the house to her in exchange for the farm and pensions/ investments.
2. offer a lump sum (€50,000 to € 60,000 family member loan) to reduce the mortgage principal to a more manageable amount (both 1 and 2 above equates to an approx asset split of 33% her and 66% me).
3. Health insurance for the kids
4. Provide a level of child maintenance for the required period and the usual 50% extra curricular etc
She is determined to pursue her new businees venture in the home. I think the timing is bad and down right selfish to be quite honest. I want her to seek some level of part-time employment (the fact that we dont have child care expenses is huge and appreciated) to supplement her situation. She is young with multiple qualifications. She will receive various social welfare supports such as one parent family and working family. She is not prepared to make any contribution to the mortgage until her situation improves, while all the time, mine disimproves. The mediator seems sympathetic to her plight. He has told me and her that she holds all the cards here (even in court if it came to this) and I will, as long as she continues to play the poor mouth, have to continue paying the full mortgage indefinitely. I want to break out of the mortgage asap but I don't think the bank will allow me to be removed as she has no capacity right now to take the mortgage on in her own right (certainly if she is not working). Selling land to write down the mortgage is not an option - the physical layout of the farm would mean that I sell it all. She doesn't what this either as the house smack bang in the middle of the farm.
My plan is to move in with my parents soon and to ultimately renovate an old farm building to provide myself with reasonable and independent accommodation for myself and children when they visit. I will need to considered as a fresh start applicant for this to happen. I dont think i will be. I feel I'm being held hostage to her aspirations. HELP!!!
My situation: early 40's on €70,000 gross pa. I also own land which I farm, and I would value it at €600,000. I have paid and continue to pay all bills and cover the full mortgage.
Her situation: early 40's home maker. In the past, she ran her own cash business from the house; modest source of income but welcome none the less. This ceased c. 2 years ago, however, she now has asperations to begin a new work-from-home venture.
Joint mortgage: House value roughly €400,000 with 25 years remaining on an outstanding mortgage principal of €150,000. House built on the farm.
Two young dependents. We are all living together at present.
Neither of us can afford to buy each other out of the house. She has a preference to stay in the family home. I am prepared,
1. to guarantee the house to her in exchange for the farm and pensions/ investments.
2. offer a lump sum (€50,000 to € 60,000 family member loan) to reduce the mortgage principal to a more manageable amount (both 1 and 2 above equates to an approx asset split of 33% her and 66% me).
3. Health insurance for the kids
4. Provide a level of child maintenance for the required period and the usual 50% extra curricular etc
She is determined to pursue her new businees venture in the home. I think the timing is bad and down right selfish to be quite honest. I want her to seek some level of part-time employment (the fact that we dont have child care expenses is huge and appreciated) to supplement her situation. She is young with multiple qualifications. She will receive various social welfare supports such as one parent family and working family. She is not prepared to make any contribution to the mortgage until her situation improves, while all the time, mine disimproves. The mediator seems sympathetic to her plight. He has told me and her that she holds all the cards here (even in court if it came to this) and I will, as long as she continues to play the poor mouth, have to continue paying the full mortgage indefinitely. I want to break out of the mortgage asap but I don't think the bank will allow me to be removed as she has no capacity right now to take the mortgage on in her own right (certainly if she is not working). Selling land to write down the mortgage is not an option - the physical layout of the farm would mean that I sell it all. She doesn't what this either as the house smack bang in the middle of the farm.
My plan is to move in with my parents soon and to ultimately renovate an old farm building to provide myself with reasonable and independent accommodation for myself and children when they visit. I will need to considered as a fresh start applicant for this to happen. I dont think i will be. I feel I'm being held hostage to her aspirations. HELP!!!
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