You are getting old when.....

[jasconius]

1. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
2. The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
3. You feel like the night before, and you haven't been anywhere.
4. Your little black book contains only names ending in M. D.
5. You get winded playing cards.
6. You join a health club and don't go.
7. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
8. You look forward to a dull evening.
9. You need glasses to find your glasses.
10. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
11. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
12. Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
13. Your back goes out more than you do.
14. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine chest.
15. You sink your teeth in a steak and they stay there.
16. YOU WONDER WHY MORE PEOPLE DON'T USE THIS SIZE PRINT.

 

[Sue Ellen]

Speaking from personal experience?

 

[DavyJones]

17. When you bend down to pick something off the floor, you think to yourself " is there anything else I need while I'm down here"

 

[mf1]

18. As you're standing on the landing, you forget whether you were going up or coming down the stairs!

And yes, I regret, this is (one of them) how I know...........

mf

 

[becky]

17. When you bend down to pick something off the floor, you think to yourself " is there anything else I need while I'm down here"

Heard that on today FM about 2 years ago and was in knots laughing in the car. Here's another one that I've been guilty of many times and from the same show

18. Giving directions to someone using names of pubs/nightsclubs/hotels which have not existed for over 10 years.


So sorry to all the people who looked for the Oasis nightclub in Salthill.

 

[msmyth]

19. You buy flat shoes in Clarkes as fashion just isn't worth having sore feet.

 

[becky]

19. You buy flat shoes in Clarkes as fashion just isn't worth having sore feet.

I actually bought a pair of garbour shoes a few weeks ago for this reason. My mother nearly fainted when I told her.

 

[DavyJones]

My mate always says " I used to be with it, then they changed what it was"

 

[Superman]

I actually bought a pair of garbour shoes a few weeks ago for this reason. My mother nearly fainted when I told her.

You know you are getting REALLY old when...
your children identify things with something on this list

 

[ninsaga]

you ask questions such as....'Who's Shane Ward?'

 

[GeneralZod]

20. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

 

[oldtimer]

21. Your wife says lets go upstairs and make love and you reply ''I cant do both.''

 

[Bluebells]

Noel V. Ginnity used to say that the surest sign is when you get up one morning, and realise that you have a fifty year old, bald headed son

 

[Caveat]

22. You buy combats for no reason other than "all those little pockets are actually very useful really"

 

[Dearg Doom]

My mate always says " I used to be with it, then they changed what it was"

23. When you don't recognise a line from The Simpson's.

Abe: I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.

Episode: 3F21 Homerpalooza

 

[DavyJones]

23. When you don't recognise a line from The Simpson's.

Abe: I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.

Episode: 3F21 Homerpalooza

D'oh

 

[Remix]

When asked by a doctor to describe your main symptom of getting older you forget what it is....

And then it suddenly comes back to you - it's memory loss (Happened to me )

 

[Sue Ellen]

21. Your wife says lets go upstairs and make love and you reply ''I cant do both.''

Time to buy a bungalow so

 

[becky]

22. You buy combats for no reason other than "all those little pockets are actually very useful really"

But secretly you think you're being a bit modern at the same time .

There is a 50 yr women in work who wears a pair this time of the year with her 'nice' shoes - not a great look.

 

[Carpenter]

I think it was Jonathon Ross who said he knew he was getting old when he actually contemplated buying one of those battery operated "clippers" for trimming nose hair!