Saw Child Verbally Abused in Shop

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MandaC said:
Update on this and I will keep it brief.

There are other complaints. There may be social and/or addiction issues involved.

Have spent some of yesterday evening and today following up. Told correct way not to confront. That's all I can do. Glad I followed up.
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hi delighted if u make a difference! am very surprised and shocked that you were told of addicition or social issues related to this person considering you are a complete stranger to this person. would your social or addiction status be given out that freely to random people???
i hope you helped that family by making the call. i am also shocked a reg could give that much information in such little time! but at least u did what u felt right!
 
You are spot on Blossy.
All of that information is confidential, and should not have been disclosed.
Even if MandaC was a relative, that information still should not have been disclosed, without express consent of the person to whom it refers.
Information can be shared, breaking confidentiality if it involves Child Protection as far as I am aware, between health care professionals etc,in the best interests of protecting a child, but certainly should not be shared with a person who decides to make a report/complaint.
Nicola
 
Ceist Beag said:
:D I love these stats ... really!!

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/05/busting-myth-93-of-communication-is.php

http://extremepresentation.typepad.com/blog/2006/09/93_of_communica.html

[broken link removed]

... and that's just from a quick Google search. So let's just say I strongly disagree.
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Ok lets say that particular stat is wrong...would you not agree that its not only the words we use but the tone, body language etc that shapes how we communicate?
If my friends and I are together and are having a laugh and someone makes a rude (but Very funny) comment about another person and I laugh and say to her 'you're a terrible B*tch' thats it very different to me saying to her during a blazing row with a very raised voice and anger in my face ' you're a terrible B*tch' ...the words are the same but the meaning very different.

I could say to a child after he has drawn on the walls and I am going mental and I lose the head and roar 'you little maniac' ..... or I could be laughing at him when he is diving off the bed like a super hero and say with a smile 'you little maniac'
The words are the same but the child knows the difference due to the tone and demeanour of the person saying the words..
sorry for going off topic a bit :)
 
ice said:
Ok lets say that particular stat is wrong...would you not agree that its not only the words we use but the tone, body language etc that shapes how we communicate?
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Obviously in those scenarios I'd agree with ye! But how about these ... do you think it would be the same if your little darling drew on the walls and you said in exactly the same angry tone "Don't do that, look at the mess you made" or some such versus "You little f&^er look what ye did" ... would ye consider those the same? Anyway as ye said we're digressing here!
 
Ceist Beag said:
Obviously in those scenarios I'd agree with ye! But how about these ... do you think it would be the same if your little darling drew on the walls and you said in exactly the same angry tone "Don't do that, look at the mess you made" or some such versus "You little f&^er look what ye did" ... would ye consider those the same? Anyway as ye said we're digressing here!
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It depends on whether the child has an understanding of the conatations of the word f**&er....the point I was trying to make was that most small children wouldn't read a parents signals by the words they use (as they may not understand them all) but more by their tone and demeanour.
When another poster said shouting was OK swearing was not I felt that was more to do with the parent not wanting to be seen to be using bad language rather then the effect of the child......

Of course its harder still when you are using and internet forum...:)
maybe thats why clubman is sometimes picked up wrongly...we can't read his non verbal cues ;)
 
ICE: When another poster said shouting was OK swearing was not I felt that was more to do with the parent not wanting to be seen to be using bad language rather then the effect of the child......

my personal opinion on this would be the same tho, no matter what tone or stanse you are using 'bad words' are not acceptable to a child, if a child said the 'f' word, no matter in what context then the child would be punished! so why use that language towards a child???... thats my opinion anyway.
 
Last edited:
Update on this and I will keep it brief.

There are other complaints. There may be social and/or addiction issues involved.

Have spent some of yesterday evening and today following up. Told correct way not to confront. That's all I can do. Glad I followed up
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Can I ask who exactly you followed up with ?:confused:
 
Blossy said:
ICE: When another poster said shouting was OK swearing was not I felt that was more to do with the parent not wanting to be seen to be using bad language rather then the effect of the child......

my personal opinion on this would be the same tho, no matter what tone or stanse you are using 'bad words' are not acceptable to a child, if a child said the 'f' word, no matter in what context then the child would be punished! so why use that language towards a child???... thats my opinion anyway.
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Totally agree...bad language is totally unacceptable to most people..although there are some sections of society that use this kind of language on a daily basis and its all some people grow up with...I just didn't feel that swearing was so much worse than shouting at a child.

I too am agast that confidential information was given out about this situation and to be honest I am not sure I believe the OP's update...I think it could have been more to assert on this forum that he/she was right and we shouldn't have doubted her ...
Did the garda find the mother based on the licence plate.....surely social welfare would not have access to this information? I find it hard to believe that the garda would go to this effort on such sketchy details....
Anyway, apologies if that is not the case but thats my take on it....
 
Just a suggestion to the parents who find taking their kids to the supermarket a huge ordeal, you should consider ordering online and having the shopping delivered? It only takes a couple of minutes to order and is a godsend.
 
I too am agast that confidential information was given out about this situation and to be honest I am not sure I believe the OP's update...I think it could have been more to assert on this forum that he/she was right and we shouldn't have doubted her ...
Did the garda find the mother based on the licence plate.....surely social welfare would not have access to this information? I find it hard to believe that the garda would go to this effort on such sketchy details....
Anyway, apologies if that is not the case but thats my take on it....
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i totally agree with this statement, i just didnt want to say it like that. :) its failry sus alrite!!!
 
MelF said:
Just a suggestion to the parents who find taking their kids to the supermarket a huge ordeal, you should consider ordering online and having the shopping delivered? It only takes a couple of minutes to order and is a godsend.
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good point, but not everyone has internet at home! and also im not letting the children, in a way, dictate that i cant go out to the shops because they misbehave.
 
ice said:
.... and to be honest I am not sure I believe the OP's update...I think it could have been more to assert on this forum that he/she was right and we shouldn't have doubted her ...
....
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that is rude and is making me out to be a liar, and do you know what,
as Clark Gable said, .....quite frankly my dear I don't give a damn.

Your choice, your perogative.

To sum up, what I said was.....
1. There are other complaints. That is indeed correct.
2. There may (and I said may)be other problems involved. I personally believe this to be the case.
3. I followed up on my complaint. (one evening after work and the next morning)
4. I am glad I did this.

Did I say anywhere that the information was tracked from a Licence plate? I said that was the information I had on the day. Use your loaf. I am not going to spell it out for you.


Also, have to say at this point, I have had a large number of personal e-mails on this subject and thanks a mill for that. To those of you who were genuinely concerned, I have tried to give you a more detailed update, which I am not prepared to put up on the boards, for obvious reasons.


Also, I have been posting on this forum for seven years or more. I have never put anything untrue on any of my posts. I have posted information on occassion that would show a pattern that my background involves searches and research. I am not going to elaborate any further on this aspect.

Thanks again all....
 
MandaC said:
2. There may (and I said may)be other problems involved. I personally believe this to be the case.

I dont think you were called a liar here, and if it came across like from me i apologise, i would also think if there was anyway you could put on here how u managed to report it etc, or to who? it would help others, especially as other people will come across an incident like this and would like to know what to do.

i also however dont think from one incident like this an assumption on ''addiction or other problems'' could be made.

Blossy
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MandaC,

I think you did the right thing. Your instinct told you something was wrong. Suppose it was a "harmless" one-off episode. Then that will be apparent to a social worker. It's always worrying when a child is quietly unhappy or seems resigned to aggressive behaviour. If it's a loving mother at the end of her tether then it could end up with her getting some support.

There's a saying that comes to mind (and I'm paraphrasing) "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing".

g
 
Mandac, can you confirm then, for those of us who worry about such things, that the Data Protection Act was not compromised by anybody (be it in Social Services or another state body)?

I think by stating that you now know "there are other complaints" and "there may be other problems involved", you gave the impression that this was gleaned by reporting a registration number to the SS. If you used other methods to report this incident, fair enough, that's your call, but those of us following this thread can only make assumptions on what you post here.
 
MandaC said:
Did I say anywhere that the information was tracked from a Licence plate? I said that was the information I had on the day. Use your loaf. I am not going to spell it out for you.
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I honestly don't have a clue what you are on about :confused:

Sorry if you think I was being rude...I think sometimes people forget this is the internet and we don't know each other and can only go on what we see in any given post....
It all seemed a bit strange to me but I stand corrected if thats not the case...the most important thing is that you feel you did the right thing...but you, like the rest of us, surely know that whatever you write on an internet forum is going to be up for public scrutiny and comment (not all of it always accurate or welcome ;))...most people know that if they see something like this they can ring the garda or the ISPCC or social services....you don't need to post on an internet forum to find that out. If you do post it then you have to be prepared for all sorts of comments, even ones you don't like.
 
Welfarite said:
can you confirm then, for those of us who worry about such things, that the Data Protection Act was not compromised by anybody (be it in Social Services or another state body)?.
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Absolutely, Welfarite.
This should even be above and beyond the Data Protection Act, and be in the realms of the right of people/patients/service users to have their confidentiality respected by healthcare professionals, if social workers or other health care professionals were involved.
This is an ethical (and can be a legal) duty of health care professionals. (for example, legal advise may well need to be sought before confidentiality may be breached.)
This is unless there is a very good reason to breach confidentiality, which even then, is only permitted under very particular circumstances, and should only involve limited information if at all possible.
I am unsure what the case is here, in this incident, as someone seems to have disclosed what appears to be confidential information to the OP

Nicola
 
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