lack of clarity in school policies

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Re: wrong place,wrong time.

no padraigB I didn't give her a hard time I felt to be accused in the wrong is hard enough, I don't know why the hearing is going ahead.I will listen to what the teachers have to say, I understand it is no mean feat to tend to over 1000 students everyday and try and keep an eye on them all, cunning as they might THINK they are,but if she was happy enough with the result of her investigation I don't see why we all have to be hauled off to the school, its crazy!!Maybe Becky is right, maybe they will have to reconsider their policies/or lack of in such cases. By the way, allthedoyles, I know the school is 100% wrong as there was no alcohol in my daughter's system.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

Yes, the teachers were right to call you up and inform you of their fears. Yes, you and your daughter are right to expect an apology. Hard to know why you all have to attend a disciplinary meeting - maybe the girls reacted badly or something when the teacher said she was suspicious of them. My one concern is that your daughters name could have been blemished if you did not have the presence of mind to have an alcohol test done - well done! Go to the meeting and see what they have to say, hold your tongue until they have said their bit and if no apology is forthcoming albeit a guarded apology then CALMLY voice your opinion; whatever you do, don't get angry, remain stoic.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

allthedoyles said:
... If its only alcohol is been suspected , then count your lucky stars
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I'm not sure what that means. Perhaps you mean that alcohol is harmless, perhaps you don't understand how seriuos a drug it is and the consequences for the country and young people.

  • The single most damaging drug available in the country is alcohol
  • The most available drug in this country is alcohol
  • The drug most likely to be abused by young adults is alcohol
  • The drugs that young adults are most likely to be exposed to in the home are alcohol & tobacco
  • The drug that young adults are most likely to see their parents / peers under the influence of is alcohol
  • The only drugs that young adults will see openly on sale in shops / supermarkets are alcohol and tobacco
  • The drug responsible for most lost work and school-days in this country is alcohol
  • The drug that causes most deaths in this country is alcohol (a factor in 30 - 35% of road fatalities)
  • The drug responsible for consuming massive amounts of Garda, A&E and other emergency services time is alcohol
  • Alcohol is a factor in 40% of assaults
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

ophelia said:
Yes, the teachers were right to call you up and inform you of their fears. Yes, you and your daughter are right to expect an apology...
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That's the very thing that has been bugging me about hwin1's position: the belief that the principal owes an apology for telling a parent of her concern about a student's welfare.
 
thank you everybody for your comments, advice and support, it is much appreciated. Nobody approached my daughter at all, the principal just called me and basically said, '' two teachers have reported to me that there is a smell of alcohol off your daughter, we are very concerned'', when I asked how they had come to suspect this she said, I am not discussing this with you any further, have a chat with your daughter when she gets home!''This was the thing that annoyed me the most. I will attend the meeting and give you all an update next week, thank you once again for your support.
 
Doen't look like there was much diplomacy on the teachers part. I would definately seek an apology. best of luck.
 
hi hwin1, you really seem upset over this, and i can relate to that,but when you go to the meeting i think perhaps you might consider that the teachers were acting out of concern for your daughter, you were informed, i think it is a far greater tradegy when persons' of authority dont bother , walk away,pretend they didnt see and so dont have to follow up. from what i can gather they did not actually accuse her of having drank alcohol, only of a smell, Teachers often have certain guidelines as to what they can say and what they can apologise for, for litigation reasons. At the end of the day i would grateful that teachers do take the time
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

hwin1 said:
Thanks for that and I appreciate they have a duty of concern, but the embarrassment it caused both my daughter and I. Should the principal not have phoned me as soon as she found out the truth about what went on, which by the way she did as soon as she hung up the phone from me and called the other students mother, what happened to sorry for accusing you in the wrong but these things have to be looked into... what do we say at the disciplinary hearing she has set up for us early next week, which means my husband and I have to take time off work.
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Why is there a disiplinary hearing if it has been established that it was braces cleaning fluid that was causing the smell? You seem to be looking to be insulted. The school was concerned about you daughter as is been said and acted accordingly. Thank them for thier concern and move on. Stop trying to make a "joe duffyesque" issue of this. Why do you think this is a them against us issue, its not, do you seriously think the principal is giving you or this a second thought or is trying to personally bug you?
 
In my opinion you are without doubt entitled to an apology!!the teachers/principal were doing their job in letting you know their concerns but those concerns were found to be wrong and it is just common courtesy to apologize for the mistake and also for the worry they would have caused!

I would also be of the opinion that if the principal was made aware of the teachers concerns early that day or even that afternoon he/she should have called immediately and should not have waited until the end of the school day! what would have happened if your daughter had been drinking and had an accident on her way home!!

If as you say the principal made investigations and found out what really happened and it was acceptable I do not understand what the discipline hearing is all about! If there was no crime committed what is your daughter being disciplined for??
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

jaybird said:
They aren't owed an apology for showing genuine concern, obviously. However if you tell a childs mother you believe they have been drinking and you are found to be wrong, its common decency to give a quick apology and acknowledge the mistake, the same as you would to an adult. Children do have feelings, it was embarassing and hurtful for the child involved, even if the intentions are good.
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WHat are they goingt o aplogise for?? They are not accusing somneone of murder or shoplifting but simply informing a parent of an observation. IN another curcumstance maybe this infromation could be useful to a parent for example a kid might have an early drinking problem or be in with the wrong kids etc, it gives the parent the heads up.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

jaybird said:
you are found to be wrong, its common decency to give a quick apology and acknowledge the mistake, the same as you would to an adult. Children do have feelings, it was embarassing and hurtful for the child involved, even if the intentions are good.
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It is not a right or wrong issue or a them against us issue it simply a principle voicing a concern. The principal has done nothing wrong and a hell of a lot right here.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

Padraigb said:
That's the very thing that has been bugging me about hwin1's position: the belief that the principal owes an apology for telling a parent of her concern about a student's welfare.
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Very true Padraig.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

mathepac said:
I'm not sure what that means. Perhaps you mean that alcohol is harmless, perhaps you don't understand how seriuos a drug it is and the consequences for the country and young people.

  • The single most damaging drug available in the country is alcohol
  • The most available drug in this country is alcohol
  • The drug most likely to be abused by young adults is alcohol
  • The drugs that young adults are most likely to be exposed to in the home are alcohol & tobacco
  • The drug that young adults are most likely to see their parents / peers under the influence of is alcohol
  • The only drugs that young adults will see openly on sale in shops / supermarkets are alcohol and tobacco
  • The drug responsible for most lost work and school-days in this country is alcohol
  • The drug that causes most deaths in this country is alcohol (a factor in 30 - 35% of road fatalities)
  • The drug responsible for consuming massive amounts of Garda, A&E and other emergency services time is alcohol
  • Alcohol is a factor in 40% of assaults
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Excellent post.
 
it was not right to wait until the end of the school day after the girl had gone home to notify her parent that should have been done immediately!
 
the parent is not looking for an apology from the principal for letting her know she is looking for a simple, sorry about the confusion but we had to make sure you were informed, it courtesy!
 
babsie00 said:
it was not right to wait until the end of the school day after the girl had gone home to notify her parent that should have been done immediately!
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Could have been hunderds of reasons for this.

1. they might have assessed the daughters state and decided she was not drunk but was just smelling of drink.

On a broader point. We are getting one side of this story from a very hurt parent. I would like to hear all of the story from all points of view. Which is impossible of course.
 
babsie00 said:
the parent is not looking for an apology from the principal for letting her know she is looking for a simple, sorry about the confusion but we had to make sure you were informed, it courtesy!
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Neither my daughter or me got an apology, but they were very quick to point the finger!
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She is looking for an apology and accusing the principal of "pointing the finger". I suspect her attitude towards the principal is one of defensive biligerence.
 
hi trelevision, you have a lot to say, and some very valid points. However, how would you feel if it were your daughter?None of us were angels in school, lets face it, but it was the manner in which the issue was dealt with that got my goat. And why wouldn't I be defensive, she's my daughter. If I can't stand up fo her, who can?
 
hwin1 said:
hi trelevision, you have a lot to say, and some very valid points. However, how would you feel if it were your daughter?None of us were angels in school, lets face it, but it was the manner in which the issue was dealt with that got my goat. And why wouldn't I be defensive, she's my daughter. If I can't stand up fo her, who can?
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Why do you see this as "standing up for your daughter"? Why not just explain to her that the school is concerned about her and she should not get overly upset about the whole thing. It seems to me your very easily offended and very defencive. Again however in this situation we are getting one point of view only i suspect the principal may intrepret this issue completly differently.
 
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