lack of clarity in school policies

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hwin1

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hi just want to get this off my chest.

I got a call from my daughter's school principal to say two teachers had smelt alcohol on her, during school hours. They never spoke to her about this but called me AFTER she had gone home for the day.

Eager to do the right thing I asked my daughter about it when she came home. I couldn't smell drink off her so to prove my point and save my daughter's reputation I had her do an alcohol test which came up negative.

When I called the school next morning, I was informed that some girl was using stuff to clean her braces and this contained alcohol and this is where the smell came from, my daughter just happened to be there with another student, after the girl had been cleaning her teeth.

Neither my daughter or me got an apology, but they were very quick to point the finger!

Any suggestions?
 
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Re: wrong place,wrong time.

What is there to apologise for? They were concerned for your daughter's welfare. They communicated that concern to you. Your investigation and theirs established that the concern in this case was unfounded.

Be glad that they are interested, and get down off your high horse.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

Thanks for that and I appreciate they have a duty of concern, but the embarrassment it caused both my daughter and I. Should the principal not have phoned me as soon as she found out the truth about what went on, which by the way she did as soon as she hung up the phone from me and called the other students mother, what happened to sorry for accusing you in the wrong but these things have to be looked into... what do we say at the disciplinary hearing she has set up for us early next week, which means my husband and I have to take time off work.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

From my experience , you should believe the school's principal and be glad that an interest is being shown in the students welfare .

If its only alcohol is been suspected , then count your lucky stars
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

don't you think an intelligent woman such as a school principal shouldn't have to be asked for an apology, thats just common decency to apologise when you are wrong no matter who you are or what position you hold. Thanks PaddyBloggit.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

thanks allthedoyles but isn't it the duty of the principal to show concern for the students, thats what she is paid for so why should I be thankful?
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

paddybloggit, not sure about the policy on this kind of behaviour, but i'm sure its not tolerated and rightly so but what about the cases of students being blamed in the wrong? Is there a policy for this I will have to find out!!
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

A lot of issues going on here. Did the teachers at any stage approach your daughter. Is there a policy within the school to deal with such issues. It could be the case the teachers were having a chin wag in their canteen and both made the same observation and then decided to go to the principle. The principle would have been very annoyed and followed protocol and contacted you with their observations. This would lead to the question, if your daughter was under the influence - what if something happened on her way home, especially if the teachers had observed this and done nothing at the time. A lot of ifs and buts. As a parent myself, I certainly can understand your anger. I'd most definately would demand a meeting with the principle and the two teachers involved to discuss this issue in full.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

I don't see why anybody should be embarrassed. I suspect that you do not see the relationship between school and family in the same way as the school principal does -- as a collaboration to achieve the best for your daughter, not as an adversarial "them and us" situation.

Yes, it might have been better if the principal had called you again to say that an explanation had been given, but there might have been other important business to be dealt with, or the principal might not have been sure that it was a valid explanation, and wanted you to check things out with your daughter.

What disciplinary hearing?
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

hwin1 said:
... what about the cases of students being blamed in the wrong?...
Click to expand...

Why do you see it as blame? Can you not see it as concern for your daughter's well-being?

From what you have told us, it seems that the only person that the school communicated with was you. Nobody made an issue of it in the school, or confronted your daughter with accusations. That looks to me like a good way to deal with such a matter.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

my daughter and I have to attend a disciplinary hearing in the school and my husband has said he will attend with me, I think it is a disgraceful waste of time as the principal seems happy enough with the explanation about the teeth cleaning story. Yes I understand she had other issues, she thanked me for following it up but still no apology.I don't see it as a them and us situation, I am just annoyed about the way the whole situation was handled.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

my daughter was embarassed when I had to confront her on such an issue and then when she had to take the test, she was crying.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

hwin1 said:
my daughter was embarassed when I had to confront her on such an issue and then when she had to take the test, she was crying.
Click to expand...

Dont worry about the embarrassment issue , as this can be a natural reaction, ............

Depending on how many years your daughter has left in this school , will determine your approach and sensitivity in this case.

If your daughter wishes to do Transition year , then its possible that the Principal may not allow this .

I believe you are best to accept this as a 'once off ' and move on .
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

no thankfully she has transition year over her and I can't see why they wouldn't let her do it on one case of mistaken misbehaviour, through no fault of her own, but anyway, one of the teachers that made the accusation to the principal will be present at the meeting, should I ask for the second one to be there and if not, why? any suggestions?
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

I don't see the point of a disciplinary hearing if the principal was happy with the teeth cleaning story; something doesn't add up here. Forget about apologies and pounds of flesh; ask the principal why she wants a disciplinary hearing. If there isn't some disciplinary issue, then there should be no hearing.

I am sorry that your daughter was upset. But what was the principal to do when she had a concern about her? Might it be that your worries about things brought on your daughter's tears?
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

I have no doubt that an apology will be forthcoming following this hearing and suspect that the reason it hasn't been forthcoming up to now is because of this hearing.

I'm not sure why the hearing is going ahead but I can only suppose there is nothing in the policy to call off a hearing - much like a court case.
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

Right, This seems like a genuine case of mistaken behaviour , through no fault of her own , however, I believe you need to approach this believing your teachers , rather than your daughter are right , and listen to what the teachers have to say.

If you find that you are 100 % correct and school is wrong , then act accordingly
 
Re: wrong place,wrong time.

becky said:
... I'm not sure why the hearing is going ahead but I can only suppose there is nothing in the policy to call off a hearing - much like a court case.
Click to expand...

Schools don't have to be as inflexible as the courts. If their policy is like that, then the policy should be changed. [Indeed, even in the courts, a nolle prosequi can be entered, which is a way of dropping a charge.]
 
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