Girlfriend moving in...

D

drutopia

Guest
Hi,

Wondering if anyone could throw some advice my way...

My girlfriend moved in with me, into my house a few months back. The house is only in my name, I pay the mortgage.
She doesn't pay any rent, that was my choice. She only contributes towards the utility and food bills. She hasn't had to buy furniture or anything like that either. So anyway here's the question.

Things are going really well, there are no problems at all... but if in the future things were to turn a bit sour, where would we stand on this? Is there such thing as common law marraige in Ireland? Would she be entitled to anything regarding my home if we split up?

Fingers crossed I'm not jinxing the relationship by even asking this question.


Thanks!
 
There is no such thing as commonlaw marriage, yet.

Theoretically she could, at some point in the future, demand a share in the house since we only have your word for it that her contribution is used for bills. She might have a different slant on it and say that she contributed to a pool of money, some of which was used for mortgage payments etc.

To avoid this you should get her to sign a legal agreement...

...although that wouldn't be very romantic.
 
drutopia said:
[...]... but if in the future things were to turn a bit sour, where would we stand on this? Is there such thing as common law marraige in Ireland? Would she be entitled to anything regarding my home if we split up?
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"Common law marriage" doesn't exist. There are in existing law some very, very limited rights for people who have been cohabiting "as man and wife" for a number of years (under the Residential Tenancies Act 2004, certain social welfare provisions - which usually but not always leave cohabitants worse off!, the Domestic Violence Acts, and a couple of other things which currently escape me).

However, there are currently proposals to make legislation for civil partnership for same-sex couples, and in that legislation there are also proposals to give protection to long-term cohabitees under a "redress scheme". That means that if the relationship breaks up, then an economically dependent cohabitant might be able to apply for maintenance or for a share of the property or pension of the former partner. If the relationship ends on death, the partner can apply for a share of the estate. People who make "cohabitant agreements" may opt out of the redress scheme applying to them; it might be a good idea for you both to set out who owns what / is financially responsible for what, and give you better protection.

Not very romantic, as Vanilla points out, but pragmatic. I had such an (unwritten, but clearly understood) agreement with my now spouse when we boiught our first house - which is of course a slightly different situation, since we had a common financial commitment - and I really think it's a good idea to be clear on what belongs to whom and who's responsible for what.
 
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So when (as a young single man) I bought my house (quite) a few years back the solicitor advising me was wrong when he said "A court could view you and your future live in girlfriend as man and wife and you could lose half your house" was wrong or only partially right?

In fact, he went on to say that if you get engaged publically (ie, make a public declaration of intent to marry) then she could claim that was a verbal contract and you could be even more up sh!t creek. That guy left me scared to even bring a 'bird' home of an evening!
 
Vanilla said:
... Theoretically she could, at some point in the future, demand a share in the house since we only have your word for it that her contribution is used for bills. She might have a different slant on it and say that she contributed to a pool of money, some of which was used for mortgage payments etc....
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How about opening a joint account which you both contribute to and solely using that account for utilities and groceries? (Continue to pay the mortgage from your own current account). Would this, in effect, strengthen one's case that the money contributed was used only for utilities and groceries?
 
How would one go about terminating such an agreement? Would destroying all copies be enough?
 
Pique318 said:
...and who said romance was dead, huh ?
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I'd call it planning ahead. Fair play to OP, love is only blind if you let it be.

There was a case in the UK last year where a girlfriend got half the house in court. The house and mortgage was in boyfriends name but she claimed to have paid 50% of bills etc. If I remember correctly there were no children involved.
 
I'd also sign a legal agreement and am always surprised that a lot of couples don't do it even when its a joint purchase.

You own a substantial asset and its perfectly logical to take steps to protect.
 
becky said:
I'd also sign a legal agreement and am always surprised that a lot of couples don't do it even when its a joint purchase.

You own a substantial asset and its perfectly logical to take steps to protect.
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When we were getting married, we both agreed that
'what was his was mine and what was mine was my own'. It's worked 25 years now.
 
MaryBM said:
When we were getting married, we both agreed that
'what was his was mine and what was mine was my own'. It's worked 25 years now.
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Exactly! .... that's why an agreement might be needed. At least with marriage the divorce process will sort things. Living with someone is always forever if/until something happens to sully the relationship. If that happens both parties will be glad if an agreement exists. It will at least make the parting a lot easier and financially less expensive on both sides.
 
PaddyBloggit said:
Exactly! .... that's why an agreement might be needed. At least with marriage the divorce process will sort things. Living with someone is always forever if/until something happens to sully the relationship. If that happens both parties will be glad if an agreement exists. It will at least make the parting a lot easier and financially less expensive on both sides.
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Emm Paddy, I'm not sure if your read our agreement correctly. Ultimately I get everything!! (as it should be!!)
 
I think it is vital that you have some form of written agreement between you to clarify the current arrangement. Perhaps her understanding of the situation re home ownership, mortgage and sharing of bills is different than yours. Some discussion around this is required.
Perhaps you may decide to up-grade in some years time snd she is of the belief that she has built up some equity.
Not very romantic I know but practical
 
Thank you all very much for your thoughts on this... maybe I should get something in writing, just to put any fears at rest. I just have to figure out how to romanticise it!


Thanks again!
 
DavyJones said:
I'd call it planning ahead. Fair play to OP, love is only blind if you let it be.

There was a case in the UK last year where a girlfriend got half the house in court. The house and mortgage was in boyfriends name but she claimed to have paid 50% of bills etc. If I remember correctly there were no children involved.
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UK family law is very different to Irish family law.

The short answer to the OPs question is that there is no such thing as common law marriage in Ireland.

However, where two people, not necessarily in a relationship, contribute financially to a household, there may be tenancy and property issues. The nature of thse issues will depend on the exact circumstances in each case.

Also, the burden of proof would be on the person who's name is not listed on the legal documentation (deeds, mortgage etc.) and I'd imagine that in the majority of cases it would be difficult for them to prove that they were anything other than tennants.
 
picene said:
afaik once engaged its an enforceable contract in that you can sue and my win if the engagement is broken off
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Not any more you can't. It used to be possible to take an action for breach of promise (a marvellous notion, which landed Mr. Pickwick in debtor's prison), but that was abolished a few years ago. Though remarkably few, really - about 20 or so, I think.

@ murphaph: certainly no more than partially right - but because break-ups where people invoke the notion of presumed trust are so messy and unpleasant, s/he may have been engaging in a bit of hyperbole to ensure you protected your property even in the throes of romance.
 
The position in the law at the moment is that she has no rights until you're engaged. However, in legal terms, living together is increasingly being viewed as a step towards marraige and not what it is in a lot of cases - 'playing house'. If you just want to play house then you'll only be able to do it for a year before it may become more in the eyes of the law! But really, if you are close enough to live with her you should be close enough to discuss your long term future together. Its the adult thing to do and if you're not ready for that then you're just playing house which is risky. Good luck..
 
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