Working adult children household contribution

I’m not sure I’d go with 1/3. Although that was my mums suggestion many decades ago. I was amused by it as she made assumptions about my earnings and was way off the mark and it was a lot less than she expected.

It is a tricky one. A friend has 2 working kids. One is on 65k the other is on min wage. Not sure what you do there. The one on min wage will just about manage expenses relating to work and a bit of a social life.

They don’t need the money in the household. But will look for something.
 
Salvadore said:
I have a friend whose parents took him to dinner on the eve of his first job in 1980. They calmly explained that he would be giving up 50% of his net income to the household. It was very mafia-like. Nothing personal-strictly business. He was the eldest of a large family and they needed his contribution.
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I was hanging on, waiting to see how many weeks he lasted before moving out!
 
I guess if they really needed it, but you’d have to be open and share the family finances and allow him a say in the spending of it. And also repay him when his siblings started earning and had to do likewise.

My dad left school a few months before his leaving cert as he was offered a job and they needed the money… that was in the 1950s. His mum always regretted it. He happily handed up all his wages and was given back sufficient pocket money. She saved a bit for him which she gave him for his uni fees later (did the leaving at night and did his degrees also at nigh)

My mother suggested the same to us later, she thought it was a great idea. Didn’t
.
 
Fortune said:
I was hanging on, waiting to see how many weeks he lasted before moving out!
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He did in for years until he got married and moved out to his own place.

At least paying his mortgage wasn’t as life changing as it otherwise might have been.
 
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I’m not there yet but I’m a believer in principle that they should contribute. I’m talking post college/ school and full time job employed. I’d look for min €100 a week and they’d have to buy their own personal items or expensive foods. I’d be saving it in the background and they’d get it if buying a house. I’d also expect a contribution to household chores and the odd bottle of wine/take away or lunch /dinner out.
If they aren’t happy they can move out and rent.
 
A third seems reasonable to me. That way they'll understand that rent, food and utilities are not free. So when they move out they'll not get a big shock.

Should this happen to us, rather than us paying for everything currently, then I'd contribute a decent sum for a home deposit down the road. At the moment trying to persuade one of them to go down the Bronte renovation route. Explained to that child and a nephew in their early twenties recently how buying a house doesn't require as much money at they might think. (back of envelope thing).
 
If you’ve high earning kids a third is a bit OTT… d nephew will be on 90k before he moves out, current career trajectory and his vague plans.

Actually he should probably move sooner lazy lad! He’s so tight too… he still has his communion money and buys his few clothes in cheap shops.
 
Mine give 200 euro each its just a contribution probably should be more but 1 is only part qualified and the other is a teacher at the start of the scale not even on the higher tax rate yet. To be honest I think they will get it all back and more if they are ever going to achieve home ownership.

I think it is difficult for young adults with property and rent prices so high they can be stuck at home at an age where really they should be moved out. Living with our adult children is a delicate balance for all concerned. It’s not just the financial aspect as I have gotten older I do think I have developed more patience and do not sweat the small stuff as much as I did when I was younger.

Life is short every so often I do have a conniption about the state of the place and we all muck in but on the whole it works and they do other things to help out with picking/dropping siblings and running errands. I am definitely getting to the age and stage of life where they will be gone soon and I will miss them.
 
Annieindublin said:
If you’ve high earning kids a third is a bit OTT… d nephew will be on 90k before he moves out, current career trajectory and his vague plans.

Actually he should probably move sooner lazy lad! He’s so tight too… he still has his communion money and buys his few clothes in cheap shops.
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I have no intention to live longer than necessary with my adult kids. If they were earning 90k, they would be out. I rented crappy places when I started working on less than 20k. And crappy places were not that cheap during the Celtic tiger. I have kids. I support them, pay for them... And don't put unnecessary stress on them but I think if one was earning 90k, I would want to apply the one third rule in the hope they decide to move out.
 
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I’d prefer them to be saving/investing the €30k rather than paying it to some faceless landlord or REIT. What I wouldn’t tolerate is one of my kids living with me and burning through their €90k salary.

But in any event one would hope that they’d be keen to get their own place. I still like the idea of taking money from them but holding on to it and then giving it back to them when the time comes to buy a house.
 
I am pretty sure a lot of them stay until they happen to come across a more interesting offer, eg a boy or girl to live with or some mates with a room available. Or they have a miserable commute.

middle class kids in nice big houses, nice area with good local services and good transport… zero incentive to move.

I shared a room with 2 sisters, 8 people and one bathroom also was an incentive. Bigger houses and smaller families. No pressure to leave.

Mine left after covid, to spread their wings a bit. Very unlikely to come back other than for short periods, very short. Crappy sofa bed is no incentive to stay longer than a few weeks.
 
Gordon Gekko said:
I’d prefer them to be saving/investing the €30k rather than paying it to some faceless landlord or REIT. What I wouldn’t tolerate is one of my kids living with me and burning through their €90k salary.

But in any event one would hope that they’d be keen to get their own place. I still like the idea of taking money from them but holding on to it and then giving it back to them when the time comes to buy a house.
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I would agree with that approach from observing family members and working with a lot of people in their 20 living with parents.

I moved out early 20s and really had to learn to budget, maybe more that is ideal but I think it had value.

I know many people in there late 20s etc who have decided that living at home and having lots of holidays and festival weekends is better than moving out. It’s now very socially acceptable to. However they lack an understanding of basic costs.
 
Annieindublin said:
If you’ve high earning kids a third is a bit OTT… d nephew will be on 90k before he moves out, current career trajectory and his vague plans.

Actually he should probably move sooner lazy lad! He’s so tight too… he still has his communion money and buys his few clothes in cheap shops.
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Why would he move when he can live comfortably bill and rent free.
 
He’s not living rent free. But one third of his expected 90k salary would be quite a lot of contribution from a child I think

The adult kids in that household all chip in, except the student one. They also do their own laundry and each cook 2-3 times a week and help with garden and house maintenance
The working kids also pay for a house cleaner every so often when everyone has been busy. They are all working and mostly studying too as are both the parents.
 
faketales said:
I know many people in there late 20s etc who have decided that living at home and having lots of holidays and festival weekends is better than moving out. It’s now very socially acceptable to. However they lack an understanding of basic costs.
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I have two adult children living with me. Both in college. When they do start working I won't be asking for any financial contributions from them. They will spend the rest of their lives paying back the mortgage my generation took out on their future to fund the bailout we did for ourselves after the financial crash and the second mortgage we took out to fund the Covid lockdown. Those two mortgages doubled the value of my home and my pension, making me close to a million Euro. They'll never have that sort of windfall. They'll also have to pay for my State pension. I think we've screwed them over quite enough.
 
Purple said:
I have two adult children living with me. Both in college. When they do start working I won't be asking for any financial contributions from them. They will spend the rest of their lives paying back the mortgage my generation took out on their future to fund the bailout we did for ourselves after the financial crash and the second mortgage we took out to fund the Covid lockdown. Those two mortgages doubled the value of my home and my pension, making me close to a million Euro. They'll never have that sort of windfall. They'll also have to pay for my State pension. I think we've screwed them over quite enough.
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“I’m not one for hyperbole, but…”

This country was a basket case. Our children get superb, free, education and our economy is the envy of the world. Successive governments and civil servants like Whitaker have given us a liberal and largely secular society with a Singapore-type economy.

Ireland is now a great place. That’s the dividend to our kids.
 
Gordon Gekko said:
“I’m not one for hyperbole, but…”

This country was a basket case. Our children get superb, free, education and our economy is the envy of the world. Successive governments and civil servants like Whitaker have given us a liberal and largely secular society with a Singapore-type economy.

Ireland is now a great place. That’s the dividend to our kids.
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I agree, to an extent, but we get that too and we don't have to pay for our mistakes, our children do.
 
I suspect most folk either genuinely need the money to run the household for various reasons or save it and give it back to their kids. Maturity kicks in at different ages in terms of money management (or never!) and therefore they might need to be saved from themselves and also it can be a way of instilling that it costs money to run a household and maybe even an incentive to fly the coop!
 
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