Believe it or not, there are lots of parents who actually like their children!
Work Life Balance
- Thread starter Tulip71
- Start date
Believe it or not, there are lots of parents who actually like their children!
I had a glimpse of this recently as I spent a number of weeks abroad with work. I was absolutely dying to get home to my family. Yesterday I took a day off...a real one (didn't open the laptop until this morning). I cooked a really nice meal and when the kids came home I played chess with one and made pancakes with the other. We had so much fun. I think it's normal to get caught up over-thinking about money, career and "doing the right things" for the kids (activities, schools, trips etc.), when really quality time is just as important. I think there are very few people in old age would regret not having spent more time in work..
Fixed that there for ya fella!
Kids can be tough at times, but you get out what you put in. Think you might have missed a trick there..
My wife is a SAHM. It's works out great for all of us. She spends all the money. I ask that we get reasonable value (not that I have to ask).
When you get home and she's given you an ironed copy of the times to read with your G&T, while wearing the slippers she's heated up for you, you can inform her that she has your permission to post on this thread...of course that's after she's cleaned up after the dinner she's cooked and brought the kids in to spend their 15 minutes of quality time with you before they go to bed. It is the 1950's after all.
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Futurelookin
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Might I respectfully suggest that you're all wrong? And you're all right, of course. From your own experience, perspective and generation.
Just as an observation: I would say that when discussing "progress", "equality" etc. I think that some people can easily forget how it used to be pre- decent maternity leave provision and view the stay at home parent role as being interchangeable when it really isn't - certainly initially. There can be a tendency to overlook the fact that giving birth is a big deal. A 9ish months pregnancy culminating in (hopefully) a straight forward, natural birth without surgical interventions (ever rarer these days), is a physical process which requires recovery, probably at least, 6 months. Biology matters and men's and women's roles for those early months, as a general rule, are defined by that. I understand and accept there may be exceptions for very many reasons.
In an earlier job when I was a very young girl working in a very female managerial heavy business, I remember a company newsletter, congratulating the lady in question for being back in her manager's job 5 days after giving birth. She would still have been bleeding quite heavily. Her colostrum would have come in day 2/3 and her milk by day 5. So she would have been wearing maxi pads and breast pads for leaky boobs while being separated from the human being which came from her body. Happily, I don't think that would be the case anymore but it certainly featured in a lot of 'Lady CEO orchestrates mergers from her maternity suite', scenarios in the States at the time and up to recently. The USA is more backward in all things work life balance anyway.
Thankfully, we've moved on in terms of supporting new mothers and families and recognising the absolutely crucial role men play in children's development (over and above providing) and how good it is for fathers' wellbeing also. With all the rapid changes wrought by covid, I think it can only bode well for more flexible working patterns for both parents and as much involvement in the day to day as works for people. Choice, as ever, is the answer.
And you're all right, of course. From your own experience, perspective and generation.Just as an observation: I would say that when discussing "progress", "equality" etc. I think that some people can easily forget how it used to be pre- decent maternity leave provision and view the stay at home parent role as being interchangeable when it really isn't - certainly initially. There can be a tendency to overlook the fact that giving birth is a big deal. A 9ish months pregnancy culminating in (hopefully) a straight forward, natural birth without surgical interventions (ever rarer these days), is a physical process which requires recovery, probably at least, 6 months. Biology matters and men's and women's roles for those early months, as a general rule, are defined by that. I understand and accept there may be exceptions for very many reasons.
In an earlier job when I was a very young girl working in a very female managerial heavy business, I remember a company newsletter, congratulating the lady in question for being back in her manager's job 5 days after giving birth. She would still have been bleeding quite heavily. Her colostrum would have come in day 2/3 and her milk by day 5. So she would have been wearing maxi pads and breast pads for leaky boobs while being separated from the human being which came from her body. Happily, I don't think that would be the case anymore but it certainly featured in a lot of 'Lady CEO orchestrates mergers from her maternity suite', scenarios in the States at the time and up to recently. The USA is more backward in all things work life balance anyway.
Thankfully, we've moved on in terms of supporting new mothers and families and recognising the absolutely crucial role men play in children's development (over and above providing) and how good it is for fathers' wellbeing also. With all the rapid changes wrought by covid, I think it can only bode well for more flexible working patterns for both parents and as much involvement in the day to day as works for people. Choice, as ever, is the answer.
More 1980's than 1950's in our house, and all hands on deck. Madness at times. Partial to the odd G&T alright.
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