Wife overspending on grocery shopping

jackswift said:
I'll see if I can find it over the weekend and put it up here.
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Don't. You have made your point and I wouldn't have the same problem with your question that others seem to have but I think putting a breakdown of her grocery spending on a public forum like this is too much. You are married adults. You must get a lunch break in work or some spare time in the evenings/weekends. Go online and order the groceries yourself. Do up a budget as a couple and agree to try and stick to it. If you can't, see why not. Agree that money saved that be spent on treating yourselves with something nice like a night away. There are loads of things you can do.
 
surely its not just 'her' grocery spending but 'theirs'? I'd like to see the types of truffles she's buying personally
 

Do. I wanna see this.
 
jackswift said:
Demeaning? Yeah right, that's fine and dandy using that word but when you are struggling to pay bills and taxes because there's so much money being wasted every month common sense has to prevail.
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There is a fundamental difference between having a discussion on budgeting and showing someone how to shop for groceries.
I think, like many have said, the conversation needs be on budgeting and chat about what you can afford and not afford.
Maybe its time to get rid of the credit card and move to a pre-pay one?

I think a budget would go a long way in every house so everyone can clearly understand the choices they need to make about money
 

What's the point in coming onto a forum looking for advice and agreeing with those who take your view and giving out about those with a different view?

Common sense does have to prevail but not listening to other opinions won't solve your problems. You need to come to a spending agreement with your wife. Maybe open an account for her and lodge an agreed, fixed amount into it each month.

But if she's just spending all this money in the supermarket and not even on clothes, she's bored and there's other issues you need to address...

Good luck
 
She's hardly bored going on 2 holidays a year. New York and Spain last year same again this year.
 
jackswift said:
She's hardly bored going on 2 holidays a year. New York and Spain last year same again this year.
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Well now you just sound abnoxious. She is your wife, not some sort of employee. You make it sound like she should be grateful....If your relationship is so one-sided that all she does it take money and spend in the supermarket, then leave her. If you value your land over your happiness then that's your choice. Live with it and stop moaning.

You would have the shopping done with all the time you have spent posting here.....
 
I suggest taking it back to the OPs original post. €800 per week on groceries is scandalous in my book. If it was my money and my OH or anyone for that matter that had access to my dosh was doing that id reign them right on in.
 
I agree with the posters who have said this is not about grocery costs, or even shopping. Possibly not even about spending money.
It is about your wife getting out of the house and being surrounded by other people.
I don't think it's marriage counselling specifically that is needed, but she does need "counselling", even if this is just a good friend to talk to.
If you're worried about the cost, a coffee and chat session with a friend in a cafe can last two or three hours and cost a tenner.
 
Survey today from The Central Statistics office in the Journal .ie says average expenditure on the household is €837 per week. Interesting hey. I think you both need to agree a weekly budget and i would suggest debit card and get rid of the credit card but tell me Jack Swift are you sure your not my husband. Tom is that you ???
 
Two ways to deal with this;

Bring her away on a small break, and tell her you want to be able take more breaks together.
Spell out a romantic vision, and that by economising, you could achieve this.

Otherwise, fight fire with fire. Put money out of reach on salary day - Plough money into AVCs,
overpay the mortgage, or withdraw money randomly - tell her you have a gambling problem.
 

Silly response
 
Does your wife work outside the home - in Other words, does she have an income? ? Have you children and if so how old? Is your marriage generwlly a happy one.


Perhaps if your wife is not earning, she may be using the extra money to puts aside for a time she should need her own money for something.
 
jackswift said:
My wife goes into 3-4 shops a day, €20 here and €40 there it all adds up, it's simple out as she uses a credit card every time.
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xoxoxo said:
Perhaps if your wife is not earning, she may be using the extra money to puts aside for a time she should need her own money for something.
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She can't be stashing it away (unfortunately for her ) as she is using a credit card.
 
I would hate if my husband was trying to micro manage grocery shopping!

I don’t understand how €800 could be spent on groceries in one week. As a family of 5 (4 adults and a teenager), I’d spend about €120 on a Big shop, and about another €25 on top ups of milk, bananas etc. However I know we buy a lot of Supermarket Own Brand items, and we tend to eat mince rather than steak! It would be easy to spend a lot more if buying expensive brands, shopping at M&S, or upmarket local delis etc.
From reading all the posts, I wonder:
Does your wife work? Has she ever worked? Has she ever had to manage her own money?
Is she aware of the Big Picture regarding your family finances?
Is she Irish? If not, does she have good English? Is she entitled to work in Ireland?
Do you have kids?
If she has never had to manage her own money, maybe she just hasn’t learnt how. Depending on her background, she may not have received good example.
I have a family member who grew up in a wealthy family, but even though his circumstances have changed, he still often has extravagant tendencies, which is wife is able to reign in!
I have another older family member, who was at home full time. She never knew what her husband earned. She had access to money through cheque books etc, but had no idea of the big picture. She would worry if her husband made a big purchase, because she had no idea whether they could afford it. On the other hand, he would talk about his thriftiness regarding other purchases. So she was getting mixed messages. She was very sensible with money as it happens.

I would hope that your wife could manage her spending better if the 2 of you do some budgeting together, so she can see the big picture.
If she is shopping because she is bored or lonely, maybe she needs support to find friends or social outlets (especially if she is living a long way from her family). Volunteering, joining a gym, language classes or similar could be a good start.
Someone else mentioned cash back. If she is accumulating cash it could be for a large number of reasons, such as sending money home, gambling, or building up ‘running away’ money.
Maybe the grocery shopping includes alcohol and she is drinking?

All in all, this is a very intriguing thread! Good luck with managing this - it could be tricky to do without causing huge offense and upset.
 
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