Christy Ring and myself have decided that, regardless of whatever happens , by hook or by crook, we're getting off the island today. I'm on my second day without a pint of Beamish and, while I've read "Peig" aloud twice over the last few days, I've missed the opportunity to be able to converse about doom, gloom, health levies, income levies, increased C.G.T., cross-border shopping, G.D.P, public service workers as enemies of the state, bank bail-outs, recession, depression, budget defecits, I.M.F., S.L.F. and the new Cork Hurling Management Team! This morning's breakfast, in keeping with events in the Motherland today, was a frugal one of berries, nuts and the last can of Spam from Bubbly's bag pipes. With no coconut trees in the vicinity, we were forced to drink nectar from the abundant flowers. As sweet as honey but could never come close to Beamish!
Jake had chewed Davy Jones's G-string to pieces during the night but, luckily, was sufficiently well to walk with us without having to be dragged along. Towards night fall, we reached our destination. What a let down! The village consisted of a few mud huts, a run down looking pub and what resembled the Community Hall in Killinaskully.
A neon sign flashed on and off over the door of the pub with the inviting slogan-
"Beamish - The Beer of Beers." As we walked towards it, I noticed a large poster advertising a concert to be held in the Community Hall tonight, starring S.L.F. with special guest, Smashbox, and with a supporting cast of Caveat, Davy Jones, Welfarite, SandraT (in deep disguise), Ancutza, Ophelia, Pique318, MOB, NorthDrum, UptheDéise, and Purple on piano. It was due to start at 9pm. I checked the sundial in the village square. Five minutes to the start of the concert. Great, I thought. Time for one quick pint.
The barman, a tall imposing Scotsman, spoke with a sorrowful look on his face. "All my Beamish is sold out, Big Mon! Tonight's artist's were in for a wee dram earlier and they drank my hoose dry! That Purple guy, the piano player! Aye! Couldn't get enough of the Beamish! Finished the keg on his own, he did! Dunno how he'll play a note tonight"
Dejected, we left the pub without replying to the Scotsman. In our haste, we mistakenly left through the back door but, to our delight, right in front of us was Smashbox's helicopter!
A quick examination revealed keys in the ignition and a full tank of fuel. Good Old Smasher, I thought! Always prepared for a quick getaway! Having strapped Christy and Jake into their bucket seats, I started the engine and prepared for departure. It was exactly 9pm. The concert was about to begin and nobody would hear us taking off. Maybe I should take one peep in the door before I departed, I thought. Just one quick peep......
What I saw and heard amazed me! What Smashbox heard horrified her! The supporting cast couldn't believe their ears!
As we lifted off into the night sky, I couldn't help chuckling to myself. S.L.F. would never be able to look me in the eye again.........................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpxQp3Hy5nk