Wedding Costs

It's a bit much to have a wedding and expect the guests to pay for any of it with cash gifts or airline tickets or drinks at the bar.

A lot of the 'must-haves' for a wedding are just rubbish. Borrow a nice car. Get a friend to take the photos. Spend the money on good food and drink in abundance. Get a friend to DJ.

Is it not hypocritical to get married in a church when you're not religious?

8K is plenty.

I got

I think the traditional Irish wedding day is the biggest load of tat known to man. How tacky can it be? Everyone knows exactly what will be happening at what time. At 9.23pm the bride will be throwing the bouquet etc. I'd rather gouge out my two eyes rather than go through that.

Why can't people have a nice meal with close family and friends instead of 100's of nobodies is beyond me!

Look mummy, I'm a princess!!

Ballyman said:

I think the traditional Irish wedding day is the biggest load of tat known to man. How tacky can it be? Everyone knows exactly what will be happening at what time. At 9.23pm the bride will be throwing the bouquet etc. I'd rather gouge out my two eyes rather than go through that.

Why can't people have a nice meal with close family and friends instead of 100's of nobodies is beyond me!

Look mummy, I'm a princess!!

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Theres no need to be bitter ,No wedding I've ever been at, has been on schedule. and what if the couple have 150 family and friends between them? I must admit I love a big Irish wedding, much better craic to any others i've been at.

terrysgirl33 said:

In my limited experiance, the more expensive the wedding, the shorter the marriage.

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hear hear, my wife and I spent 2k got married abroad two years ago. We had two strangers as withnesses, nice people they where getting married the same day, we all had a great time. Some family members kicked up a stink, but we have a healthly happy family and a long loving marrage ahead of us, with a much lesser debt concern. We at the time could not afford the traditional wedding that was almost demanded of us, there wasnt to many lining up to pay for it. We have a child with another on the way and its much better to be able to provide for them, than worry un duely about the big loan you got for one day.

Getting married is about every day after your wedding day, and not so much the first.

Joejoe

joejoe said:

hear hear, my wife and I spent 2k got married abroad two years ago. We had two strangers as withnesses, nice people they where getting married the same day, we all had a great time. Some family members kicked up a stink, but we have a healthly happy family and a long loving marrage ahead of us, with a much lesser debt concern. We at the time could not afford the traditional wedding that was almost demanded of us, there wasnt to many lining up to pay for it. We have a child with another on the way and its much better to be able to provide for them, than worry un duely about the big loan you got for one day.

Getting married is about every day after your wedding day, and not so much the first.

Joejoe

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Well said.

hey,

I have read all the post regarding the cost of a wedding and to be honest i am a little confused as to why people are getting agro over what other people are spending on there wedding etc... I donk think it is very fair to "slag" people off just because they are sending 30 k on a wedding... It is their choice and their day.... I am getting married at the end of this year and although we have tried to have a affordable day, its just not totally possible i feel in ireland.

We are having a small wedding of 70 people, we could have gone for a larger one but we didnt see any venues that we really loved, so when we picked the venue, we had no choice as it only holds 70 people. The venue specialises on beautiful food and its a vey classy venue. The meal is costing about €90 per head, plus wine, toasts, sandwichs, tea etc... In total the wedding day is costing approx €27K plus our honeymoon... Truthfully we have gone a little mad on the honeymoon wont even tell you the cost but we love to travel and feel its worth it, as its our honeymoon...

We are paying for the pay ourselves... we have been saving for a year and half... we will not be depending on guests gifts, as everything will be paid for with savings before the wedding... Plus with 70 including ourselves we wont be getting alot (plus we are asking for donations for a charity we have picked instead of gifts)

Yes i have friends going abroad to get married, saving a bomb, but we are not in a position to do the same as one of our parents is sick.

All i would say it, it doesnt matter what you spend, some people spend a fortune on cars (which i think is crazy) etc but it is up to the couple to decide what they wany on their day, whether it be 50k or 5 K etc...

anyone getting married, i wish you all the best on your wedding day!!

Most people like to be extravgent at some time or another whether it is buying a larger home, latest gadgets, badge cars etc and a wedding is no different. A big wedding is a tradition and shouldn't be scoffed at by those with little interest in it, it really is a case of each to their own. Ballyman, you do sound bitter regarding your contempt for people spending money on one day and in particular the bride, but its not that mad really and I don't think anyone is going to sacrifice their kids education for the price of their wedding.

well said MrMan....

No one should be jealous over what someone is prepared to spend on their wedding day, or on anything else for that matter...

I think if its what you want then go for it....

Spent 35k and had the best day of my life. Do not regret a penny. Both (relatively!) young and childless, our money to spend - and so we spent it.

It depends on your outlook I suppose, each to their own. But I don't see the need for the spitefulness apparent on the thread.

It's not bitterness or jealousy on my part.

I can well afford to pay €30K on a day out but I have no intention of it so some deranged lady can think she looks like a princess and needs to be the centre of attention!

My only gripe is that I didn't get into this "wedding industry" years ago and do my bit to milk it from people with more money than sense. :>

Ballyman said:

I can well afford to pay €30K on a day out but I have no intention of it so some deranged lady can think she looks like a princess and needs to be the centre of attention!

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So because you dont like the idea of an expensive wedding you assume that people who do are deranged?

How do you justify that?

People are perfectly entitled to spend whatever amount of their own money on whatever they want. Some people spend huge sums of money on tv/hi fi systems/cars/clothes/holidays/art/furniture etc....
Each to their own.

You do sound a bit bitter Ballyman. I think calling a bride who wants a traditional Irish wedding deranged is a tad strong. I assure you I am definitely not deranged, nor have I become a bridezilla (yet) but I am looking forward to what will be the biggest day in my life, because lets not forget that marrying someone and making a commitment to them for the rest of your life is a pretty big deal. Why not celebrate it with family and friends and have a party and feel like a princess for the day with the people you care about if thats what you want. I really don't see what the problem is and where your very strong feelings are stemming from. If people are willing to save their hard earned money (as I will be) and spend 30k on an occassion that means so much to them then what harm. Ok the party might only last one day, but hopefully the happy memories will last a life time. Also, if a couple wishes to head off on their own to tie the knot as this is what makes them happy then they should go for it!

It's when you see discussion of "what's the going rate for weddings" and how people are expected to give at least €200 cash per couple or whatever to cover the costs of the wedding that the cynicism kicks in and I err on the side of Ballyman's opinion. I've been to so many weddings over the past few years and most are inter-changeable from the next, different hotel, same format, same type of food. Each to their own and all, and people are entitled to spend what they like on their wedding but when I hear this talk of "cash only" and "going rates" my blood boils!

msmyth said:

It's when you see discussion of "what's the going rate for weddings" and how people are expected to give at least €200 cash per couple or whatever to cover the costs of the wedding that the cynicism kicks in and I err on the side of Ballyman's opinion. I've been to so many weddings over the past few years and most are inter-changeable from the next, different hotel, same format, same type of food. Each to their own and all, and people are entitled to spend what they like on their wedding but when I hear this talk of "cash only" and "going rates" my blood boils!

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Are the 'going rate' threads not applicable to many events though - like the going rate to give for a communion or confirmation, or how much to spend on a present for someones first home? I always viewed those threads as more of people putting feelers out and getting an idea of whats a generally acceptable amount for a gift for ANY occasion.

msmyth said:

It's when you see discussion of "what's the going rate for weddings" and how people are expected to give at least €200 cash per couple or whatever to cover the costs of the wedding that the cynicism kicks in and I err on the side of Ballyman's opinion. I've been to so many weddings over the past few years and most are inter-changeable from the next, different hotel, same format, same type of food. Each to their own and all, and people are entitled to spend what they like on their wedding but when I hear this talk of "cash only" and "going rates" my blood boils!

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I agree - if people want to spend a ton of money on their wedding it's their business - but my blood boils like msmyth when an invite includes a wedding list or the words 'cash only please'. Why not go one further and sell tickets to your wedding? I'd never throw a party and expect presents; I think people who weigh up the cost per head against the 'going rate' of cash presents are tacky.

Few people will turn up empty handed to a wedding, but if people want to get you a present they can ask for your wedding list, I think including one in the invite smacks of begging.

Yeah it is tacky but that's the reality I'm afraid - if people are planning and budgeting for the big day, of course they are going to factor in the fact that they will have all the cash afterwards. There are big sums of money involved, people can't just ignore it. It does mean that they can maybe afford a wedding that they mightn't have been able to afford otherwise.

The fact is as well that the guests will often want to know what the couple want! You will have people ringing up the Mum in law and asking her is a cash gift appropriate or not, where's the wedding list etc etc. It's not all from the couple's side, indeed they probably think they're being helpful to guests by including a note with the invitations to avoid them having to wonder what to get as a present.

Having said that I still think it's tacky but can see how a couple would feel it was a sensible thing to do to save hassle.

Wedding lists are not tacky. I hate it when people don't include a wedding list. I would rather they did that then have me spend money on something they don't want or need. And most wedding lists I have seen have included items all along the price spectrum so its not as if they are just asking for the best of everything.

And so what if people want cash? Remember most young people nowadays have been living in their own property and have their houses done up long before they get married so they probably don't need a another coffee table or crystal vase.

If people are so offended by wedding lists and requests for cash, don't go to the wedding. I am sure the couples in question would prefer that to have people sitting there moaning and passing judgement on them.

I actually think wedding lists are great and handy if you're like myself and can't stand shopping! Especially if the place that's doing the list delivers the gift to the couple on your behalf. However it crosses a line asking for cash IMO, like a previous poster said it smacks of selling tickets. To date none of my friends have asked for cash gifts and in honesty I don't think that I would go if they did.

Sunny said:

Wedding lists are not tacky. I hate it when people don't include a wedding list. I would rather they did that then have me spend money on something they don't want or need. And most wedding lists I have seen have included items all along the price spectrum so its not as if they are just asking for the best of everything.

And so what if people want cash? Remember most young people nowadays have been living in their own property and have their houses done up long before they get married so they probably don't need a another coffee table or crystal vase.

If people are so offended by wedding lists and requests for cash, don't go to the wedding. I am sure the couples in question would prefer that to have people sitting there moaning and passing judgement on them.

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hehehehe - great post Sunny!