First of all, I’m sorry you are in this position. I know things could be a lot worse, but it’s bad enough, and it’s a horrible feeling to be trapped with no way of changing things.
CURRENT PROBLEM: your (family) income is less than your expenses. To solve this, you need to cut expenses and/or increase income. One thing I am not clear on, is your mortgage interest only or are you repaying it? If it’s interest only, how do you plan on re-paying the capital?
INCREASE IMCOME:
- Invite the Queen and President Obama back again.
- Petition the government until they reverse the paycuts and extra charges like the pension levy and Universal Social Charge. You can try this, but in the “current economic climate” I think you are not going to get anywhere.
- Get more money from your parents. You mention that they are on a pension. I don’t think this is a runner, but it seems to be where you are getting the extra money at the moment when things are tight.
- Stop AVCs. Financially it makes sense to put money into these, but there is no point in this when you cannot afford to eat.
- Get a job (as a SAHM). Since your youngest is 10, you should be able to get a full time or part time job. You may not have thought you would have to do this, but I think you have to consider it.
- Get the children, particularly the 16 and 18 year old to get jobs and contribute to the running expenses of the family.
- Take in language students during the summer, or for 5 days a week (digs) during the college term (presuming you live close to a college).
- Get a full time lodger, this is tax free income under the rent-a-room scheme.
- Sell unused DVDs, electronic goods, old phones, take clothes to places that give you cash for them etc. etc.
DECREASE EXPENSES:
- Look closely at what you (as a family) are spending on clothes, food, heating etc and cut down or move to a cheaper provider.
- Sell the house and move to a cheaper one.
- Sell a car, getting some money in and cutting down on running expenses.
- Sell the TV, getting some money and getting rid of licence fees and any UPC or cable fees.
- Move the kids to a school with cheaper fees/uniform.
In the case of the 18 year old (I am presuming this is the child who got into a good course this year). If your parents offer money I would say no. Can you talk to him/her and explain that you would like to pay, but you just don’t have the money. It is probably too late, but could they accept the course, defer for a year and pay the fees themselves next year?
IN THE FUTURE:
3 years from now. You say your husband wants to retire at 55. At that stage your kids will be 13, 15, 17, 19 and 21. Are you expecting to be paying two sets of college fees at this stage? Unless something happens, I can’t see how you can’t afford this. Talking to other parents (my kids are only in primary school) the college years are the most expensive, have you planned for this?
5 years from now. Your husband will have to retire at this age. You are suggesting that this is ageist, but it sounds like your husband is not willing to stay working anyway, and after 35 years working as a guard I can understand this. Have you talked to him about this? Have you talked about how you will manage financially? Your kids will be 15, 17, 19, 21 and 23. Possibly 2 of them will be in college. Have you a plan to pay for fees, or anything else? Would it be possible for your DH to be a SAHD while you go back to work?
Are you waiting for your parents or his parents to die, and use the inheritance to pay off the mortgage?
I would suggest that you have a chat with your kids. Explain that as much as you would love to pay for anything, you can only afford to support them through secondary school (and only for uniform and books, discretionary spending clothes and the like will have to be bought out of money they earn themselves) but at college, the most you can help is either €X or by letting them live at home, rent free, until they graduate.
If this is a post, based on the info in the cornflakes thread, then I don't think there is enough information to give proper advice on.