It is my opinion that they can do/say almost anything they want to you because they are American and you are not, and you want to enter their country, therefore they are within their rights to make you jump through as many hoops as they see fit. They will naturally believe their records unless and until you can produce evidence to the contrary which is acceptable to them.
Whether it's morally right, however, is another matter which has already had lots of discussions on here and other discussion fora...
As for a refund of costs, not a chance. They must have thousands of applicants every day in embassies all over the world, and potentially, by the law of averages, dozens of people who are, like you, questioning 'the system', so they couldn't possibly cover it, even if they wanted to.
But undoubtedly I will be corrected by those who have successfully done all of the above.