upping sticks and leaving the country

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liketoknow

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I am seriously considering leaving the country with my two children as my life is a misery here. I cant stick it any longer, i have family who are absolutely amazing.

one woman is making my life a misery and she will never let me live is peace as long as i am here. I have been through eight years of hell, court appearances, assaults , phone harrassment and i am done with it all.

my daughter is very ill so wherever i would go would have to have a very good hospital.

has anyone any advice? please dont judge me, i am not a coward, just a woman who needs peace for her young children and can see no other option.
 
My heart goes out to you. There has to be an easier way to live without the hope that you must leave to gain peace and quiet. Without my being rude, if your family are amazing why aren't they helping you through this period of need. If youe have been subjected to the harassment , assaults etc.etc., thankfully there is a legal system in this country which looks after those that are vulnerable. Have you tried speaking with Counselors, Social Services and other expert groups that might and would assist you. Nobody but nobody wishes this type of situation on anybody. No matter how bad things appear it can be righted --- but only if you get the support and assistance to help you away from this dark patch in your life.
 
my family are brilliant but i cant be troubling them with all of this. they have helped me before with this but i am trying to hide the fact that its still going on. i dont want them worrying they have there own life to worry about.

this week this person knocked on my door and i answered and she tried to kick my door in. i managed to close it call the guards and they wouldnt come up , they said she had done nothing wrong.

im going today to change my number yet again but it will only be a matter of weeks before she has my number again.
 
I don't understand as to how your number can be fed through unless you are giving the number to someone who is passing it to the said people. Tell me why are the Guards unwilling to deal with this. Having somebody trying to kick your door in is a criminal offence. Have you spoken to the Seargent or Superintendent ??
 
Do you really need to leave the country? Could you, for example, move to another county, or perhaps go to Northern Ireland?

Reading some of your previous posts your daughter seems to be very ill indeed. Would the actual process of moving to another country create additional problems for her?
 
yes shes very ill, her organs are in her chest and she only has the use of one lung.

i asked that day to speak to the seargeant in charge and was told he was unavailable.
the guard said i could make a statement if i wished but as there were no witnesses.....

i wouldnt give her my number and i have even doubted my own friends so much wondering are they passing on my number that i am now reduced to one friend.
 
a few months ago i opened the door and she tried to push me down my stairs with my daughter in my arms. reported that and as there were no witnesses same thing again
 
sorry for being forward, but why is this woman harrasing you so much? If you elaborated a bit on your situation maybe people here could offer more advice... keep reporting to the gardai though, at least each report will be documented and noted by them. maybe try install cctv so you could catch her nad have proof, or failing that buy a mobile phone that has a record function on it..
 
So have you considered where you would move to?

Do you have a house to sell? Can you find work or if work isn't an option how will you support yourself? Do you have some money in hand to cover the costs of moving? Are you married/ in a relationship and will your husband/partner move with you? How do you plan to travel (fly/ferry/car/train?) as your child is so sick?

Why not put a chain on your front door for a start off? Don't let her in to your house and get an answering machine to screen calls.
 
she is an ex partner of the father of my children. they broke up about a year before i met my childrens father, and since we got together i havent had a days peace.

i wont be able to work, as my child is sick, so its pretty much an awful idea to leave the country , i realise that now.

i will have a few thousand coming my way in a few weeks time but it more than likely wouldnt last me long enough if i did go.

running away isnt an option i suppose , but all i really want is a little bit of peace. i have a little camera i bought in lidl for 35 euro , doesnt work but i have seen a few people at the door looking up at it so at least they think it works!!

I have tried all avenues with the gardai, and i know people will think this is ridiculous but she went out with a guard from my local station for a while and ever since that my calls to the station havent been taken seriously.
 
You really need to make an appointment with the area Superintendent. Is the farther of your children still around so to speak ?? If not are you on speaking terms with him ?

Have you considered speaking to a solicitor concerning having a barring order placed against this woman, where the courts will issue a notice to keep her away or getting in contact with you.
 
yes ive recently gotten back together with their dad, but whether i am with him or not she persists to hound me.

He knows all about what she is doing but she wont stop. I really dont know where to turn to with this . some people may think i have brought this on myself but i have done nothing to upset or interfere in anything they have had or anything like that.

i recently contacted a solicitor and she sent a letter on my behalf. after the letter was sent i received a tirade of abuse saying i will never get away with threathening her through a solicitor. the solicitor made no threat, she merely said that there would be court preceedings if the harrasment continues. Can i arrange a meeting with a superintendant? do i have that right?
 
I don't think that running away is the answer. Unless you do a 'witness protection' type of disappearing act with absolutely NO contact with anyone left behind, she will find you eventually. Mind you, depending on your daughter's condition, you may find that the medical services available to her are much better in NI or UK.

You've had some good practical advice on this thread.
 
I have , ive had brilliant advice thanks a million to you all. I have eircom phone watch coming to me in may to install a system there will be a panic button connected to the gardai at least if she does come , and i press that, they will have to come.
 
Good that your partner is back firstly. I would suggest that you do not inflict punishment on him because of a third party. It's not really your fault if she is possessive. The main thing you both have to do is look after your children and more so your sick daughter. On the basis of the letter that yoiur solicitor wrote, and she is aware of the telephone calls, maybe it would be appropriate to bring her with you to meet the Super. Then the Gardai will ave to do something and failing that into Court for a restraining order.
 
thanks mercman thats good advice, she has caused awful trouble between me and my partner and that was the reason we broke up, we are trying to patch things up.
 
liketoknow - its important that you keep a diary of these events, and that back up each incident with a call to the guards - tell them that you expect the fact you called to be recorded in case of legal proceedings down the line.

You must not open your front door unless you know who is on the other side and if its this person dont open it at all, call the guards and tell them she is at the front door and wont leave - she will leave quick enough if they arrive on the scene.

I think you should also tell your family about this - keeping it secret is only going to allow it to fester inside you and stress you further and they may be able to help with emotional support - even if they cant do anything practical.
 
thanks truthseeker,

ive been put on anti depressants because of this coupled with my daughters illness. my house is built oddly , when i look out my sitting room window i cant see who is at my door the only way to see is my opening the door, i asked my dad this mornig to fit a latch on the door hes going to do that this evening.

im off the temple st with my little girl today but will stop on the way to change my phone number.

im sick of this over taking my life.
 
You or your partner might be able to fit a spyglass to the front door, you can get them in any hardware shop. That way you can look out and get a clear view of the whole street, and if you do it quietly she might not be sure if you are in or not, and maybe she'll get fed up and go away. You could also quietly place the lens of your mobile phone up to the spyglass and video her in secret, in case she kicks the door or starts to rant and shout. Then you have evidence for the Gardaí.

mercman is right. Don't let this beat you. It's a trial for sure, but keep strong. It will pass eventually.
 
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