Just a quick update, as promised. I called to my local branch this morning and opened an account, and I
didn't have to order a Laser/ATM card, nor even a chequebook (although obviously I have the option there for the future, if I ever want it). So the account should cost me zilch and, once I mandate my salary to it, earn me €150. Needless to say, I ticked the relevant boxes indicating that neither UB nor any approved third parties were to contact me to offer other products or services.
The whole process, including form-filling, took less than 10 minutes — pleasantly smooth and efficient. They didn't offer me a cup of coffee, though — stingy, or what!?