A
<A HREF=http://pub145.ezboard.com/baskaboutmoney.s
Guest
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
G
gongey
Guest
wife....
Reminds me of the one.....
Wife wakes up in the middle of the night to find the other side of the bed laying empty. She goes downstairs to find her husband sitting in the dark crying softly to himself.
She says " Honey, whats the matter, are you okay"?
He replies " You remember when we were caught by your Dad having sex in the hay-barn?"
She said " yes, I remember, honey"
Husband " Well you remember he said that I'd better marry you or that he'd report me to the cops for having sex with a minor and I'd get 20 years"
She replies " yes sweetheart, I remember"
"Well", he cried, " I would have got out today!!!"
Reminds me of the one.....
Wife wakes up in the middle of the night to find the other side of the bed laying empty. She goes downstairs to find her husband sitting in the dark crying softly to himself.
She says " Honey, whats the matter, are you okay"?
He replies " You remember when we were caught by your Dad having sex in the hay-barn?"
She said " yes, I remember, honey"
Husband " Well you remember he said that I'd better marry you or that he'd report me to the cops for having sex with a minor and I'd get 20 years"
She replies " yes sweetheart, I remember"
"Well", he cried, " I would have got out today!!!"
A
<A HREF=http://pub145.ezboard.com/baskaboutmoney.s
Guest
Re: wife....
"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself."
"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself."
T
Tom
Guest
wife.....
Can someone explain to me all the 'jokes' (which obviously reflect reality) about the 'ball and chain', the 'noose', the 'nagging wife'... etc. etc. which clearly point to the fact that most people are either unhappy with their relationships, or ended up in something they didn't want to, or haven't the guts to leave it? I am always baffled by this, what is purported to be 'mock', slagging of partners, which invariably ends up with the 'lads' comforting each other that they're all in the same misery boat. It's a frigthening view of relationships if you actually look through to the midsets that think up or pass on these 'jokes'.
Can someone explain to me all the 'jokes' (which obviously reflect reality) about the 'ball and chain', the 'noose', the 'nagging wife'... etc. etc. which clearly point to the fact that most people are either unhappy with their relationships, or ended up in something they didn't want to, or haven't the guts to leave it? I am always baffled by this, what is purported to be 'mock', slagging of partners, which invariably ends up with the 'lads' comforting each other that they're all in the same misery boat. It's a frigthening view of relationships if you actually look through to the midsets that think up or pass on these 'jokes'.
D
Dr Moriarty
Guest
midsets (sic)
Would I be right in guessing you're a single man, then, Tom...?
Dr. M. (happily married...
)
Would I be right in guessing you're a single man, then, Tom...?
Dr. M. (happily married...
)
S
sueellen
Guest
"Fingers crossed you get your stuff in time, Sweeney — I know what it's like ordering stuff online near Christmas and hoping it'll arrive on time (am currently "sweating" a couple of recent eBay purchases — saved a bundle, but it all comes to naught if it's not under the tree on Christmas Day...!)
Dr. M. (happily married... )" - is this dependant on eBay? :rolleyes
Dr. M. (happily married... )" - is this dependant on eBay? :rolleyes
G
gongey
Guest
married jokes??
Tom left his humour at home i think. single bedsit?
good luck with the wife hunting.....
Tom left his humour at home i think. single bedsit?
good luck with the wife hunting.....
A
<A HREF=http://pub145.ezboard.com/baskaboutmoney.s
Guest
Re: married jokes??
"The upshot of the story is, that day I called my parents, my father was fired. He was technologically unemployed. My father had worked for the same firm for twelve years. They fired him. They replaced him with a tiny gadget, this big, that does everything my father does, only it does it much better. The depressing thing is, my mother ran out and bought one."
-- Woody Allen
"The upshot of the story is, that day I called my parents, my father was fired. He was technologically unemployed. My father had worked for the same firm for twelve years. They fired him. They replaced him with a tiny gadget, this big, that does everything my father does, only it does it much better. The depressing thing is, my mother ran out and bought one."
-- Woody Allen
G
gongey
Guest
Hah!
A married couple are driving along a motorway doing 60 MPH, the husband
> behind the wheel. His wife suddenly looks over at him and says, Honey, I
> know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce" The
> husband
>
> says nothing but slowly increases his speed to 70 MPH. She then says, "I
> don't want you to try and talk me out of it, because I've been having an
> affair with your best friend, and he's a lot better at s*x than you."
>
> Again the husband stays quiet but speeds up more as his anger increases.
>
> "I want the house," she insists, pushing her luck. Again the husband
> speeds
>
> up , now to 80 MPH. She says "I want the car too ! " but he just keeps
> driving faster and faster.
>
> By now he's up to 90 MPH. "And I want the bank accounts and all the credit
> cards"
>
> The husband starts to veer towards the central reservation.
>
> This makes her a little nervous so she asks nervously "Isn't there
> anything
>
> you want dear?"
>
> The husband replies "No, I've got everything I need darling"
>
> Oh really," she says, "so what have you got?"
>
> Just before they smash into the central reservation at 100 MPH, the
> husband
>
> smiles and says............................
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ...................................."The f*cking airbag ! "
A married couple are driving along a motorway doing 60 MPH, the husband
> behind the wheel. His wife suddenly looks over at him and says, Honey, I
> know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce" The
> husband
>
> says nothing but slowly increases his speed to 70 MPH. She then says, "I
> don't want you to try and talk me out of it, because I've been having an
> affair with your best friend, and he's a lot better at s*x than you."
>
> Again the husband stays quiet but speeds up more as his anger increases.
>
> "I want the house," she insists, pushing her luck. Again the husband
> speeds
>
> up , now to 80 MPH. She says "I want the car too ! " but he just keeps
> driving faster and faster.
>
> By now he's up to 90 MPH. "And I want the bank accounts and all the credit
> cards"
>
> The husband starts to veer towards the central reservation.
>
> This makes her a little nervous so she asks nervously "Isn't there
> anything
>
> you want dear?"
>
> The husband replies "No, I've got everything I need darling"
>
> Oh really," she says, "so what have you got?"
>
> Just before they smash into the central reservation at 100 MPH, the
> husband
>
> smiles and says............................
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ...................................."The f*cking airbag ! "
A
<A HREF=http://pub145.ezboard.com/baskaboutmoney.s
Guest
Re: Hah!
Written by somebody who had just seen The Last Seduction no doubt!
Written by somebody who had just seen The Last Seduction no doubt!