To work or not to work , baby due , what to do ! !

shaking said:
I'm amazed at what some people are posting about creche going children, I went to boarding school from the age of 10 - God only knows how that will be interpreted!
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You took the words out of my mouth. I also had a stay at home mother, but went to full-time boarding school.

I am a big defender of our local creche, and will certainly send our next baby there too. Its been a revelation for our children, and they learn and develop far more than they would at home, no matter how much we all try our best. The syballus and daily activities they learn would put the best of us to shame if we were to organise it ourselves at home.

Children need the interaction with other children. You can't possibly give 12 hours per day interacting with the child, its just not possible. In the creche it is, for the 8-10hrs they are there.

One important point though: Sure, in bad creches, the children can only pick up the bad behaviour, but if you have a good one, its the way to go.
 
jubi said:
we women have been sold the lie and unfortunately subscribed to it that we only have status if we bring in money to the household, We see mothering as having very low status hence women make the choices they do based on that, not on whether it is a good option for their children
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You are deluded, honestly you are. No one has sold me a lie, i dont feel like i have a low status because i stay at home. I dont feel under pressure to bring money into the household.
I want to go back to work because i want to achieve my lifelong dream.
My husband is happy for me to stay at home but he understands i need more than this.
I feel isolated,lonely and crave some intellectual stimulation, the only thing that keeps me going is the 2 hours of study i do a day.
If i am to wait until my child (and any future children) are school going age ill be about 40 and far too old to start any career then, my dream will be over.
 
Thrifty

I am not deluded. I am however astounded that the only thing that keeps you going is studying 2 hours a day. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that I am doing the right thing by my child and that it will pay dividends for him. Yes I get bored but so what. I made a decision to have a child and therefore he is my responsibilty not any body elses. I do wish mothers today had half the backbone of our previous generations of women. Before you had a child what did you surmise your life was going to be like one long bout of excitement and stimulation if you did you are the one who is deluded or did you think I will have a child as long as I only get the exciting bits.

Truthseeker

You surmise that people are being judgemental and therefore pass this on to their children .my son is not reared in a vacumn. The most telling thing he said to me once was why do mums leave their kids to go to work. I said some have to do it no choice but others dont want to be at home and be with their children all day. His response at 7 years of age was well why have them. I pondered that and in fairness found it difficult to answer. He stated that he felt sorry for the poor children who have to get up early at holiday times because he said they cant relax like he can.
 
oh for god sake , quoting your son to try and made us feel bad. I pity his future wife to have a mother in law like you and a husbadnw ith attitudes like that. Working parents get holidays too and term time etc for school holidays
 
Jubi - Im sorry, but a 7 year old is not intellectually developed enough to make decisions about the rights and wrongs of parents working!!!
 
sandrat said:
oh for god sake , quoting your son to try and made us feel bad. I pity his future wife to have a mother in law like you and a husbadnw ith attitudes like that. Working parents get holidays too and term time etc for school holidays
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no one can make you feel bad. i suggest you are doing this all by yourself.
Jubi is a mother making a point. surely shes entitled to do that?:rolleyes:
 
Truthseeker

What is so intellectual about saying why do mums have babies and not mind them hardly rocket science. Oh sorry I forgot to say my son is in the top 2 percent in iq tests and therefore he is well capable of having intellectual debates. His teacher has stated that my son has required him to often think before he answers questions from.
 
jubi said:
I do wish mothers today had half the backbone of our previous generations of women.

Truthseeker

... The most telling thing he said to me once was why do mums leave their kids to go to work. I said some have to do it no choice but others dont want to be at home and be with their children all day. His response at 7 years of age was well why have them. ...
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I must say this thread is very entertaining. Previous generations - when was that golden age exactly? If you can narrow it down for us it would be helpful.

7 year olds are brilliant (like all kids) at looking for approval. In other words, getting the cue from their parents and telling them what they want to hear.

For myself, I am quite content with being a bad mother and a terrible, terrible human being altogether :) It's an absolute miracle my kids are as balanced and normal as they are. As for Thrifty, keep studying and best of luck. You are a fine example to your kids.
 
His response at 7 years of age was well why have them. I pondered that and in fairness found it difficult to answer.
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I am really surprised at your response because a woman has to work, in your head you are thinking why is she having a child!

If we could actually look at womens working habits years gone by - not all women had to quit work. There were female teachers, nurses.. More ofen than not these women reared a family.
My granny worked on the family farm - while rearing 7 children. As did alot of other women of her generation.

I'm sorry jubi - wile I think you live in a nice world in that you have a choice not to work - you dont necessarily live in the real world where unfortunatly alot of women do not have that choice and they raise perfect children.
 
Hilarious thread. Couple of posters taking the mick, I'd say? Otherwise I think I've found contenders for my personal award of person I'd like least to have to sit next to at a dinner party.

Somebody said they are in training to become solicitor and there was a comment that one would need to put in long hours to qualify/progress. That might be true of some of the larger high pressure firms, but certainly wouldnt be my experience of small to middling size firms. Indeed a career as a solicitor can be fairly flexible- endless possibilities of part-time/flexi-time/working from home etc.

Posted by a very flawed working mother! My poor children, will have to start saving for the bail money now instead of uni fees.;)
 
jubi said:
Truthseeker

What is so intellectual about saying why do mums have babies and not mind them hardly rocket science. Oh sorry I forgot to say my son is in the top 2 percent in iq tests and therefore he is well capable of having intellectual debates. His teacher has stated that my son has required him to often think before he answers questions from.
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Im not inferring he is not an intelligent child, but a 7 year old simply wouldnt have the worldly knowledge to understand the various factors involved in a debate over women with children working.

Dont you think its possible he is reflecting back your own attitudes at you?
 
Vanilla said:
Hilarious thread. Couple of posters taking the mick, I'd say? Otherwise I think I've found contenders for my personal award of person I'd like least to have to sit next to at a dinner party.

Posted by a very flawed working mother! My poor children, will have to start saving for the bail money now instead of uni fees.;)
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LOL. Was reading this thread in amazement I must say. God love my poor daughter if I was at home with her all day every day. We'd both be driven demented.

Jubi, was just wondering if you had any daughters - and if so what would be your ambitions for them??? Obviously no point in going on for further education if you expected them to give up work as soon as kids came along.
 
jubi said:
Thrifty

I do wish mothers today had half the backbone of our previous generations of women.

You surmise that people are being judgemental and therefore pass this on to their children .my son is not reared in a vacumn. The most telling thing he said to me once was why do mums leave their kids to go to work. I said some have to do it no choice but others dont want to be at home and be with their children all day. His response at 7 years of age was well why have them. I pondered that and in fairness found it difficult to answer. He stated that he felt sorry for the poor children who have to get up early at holiday times because he said they cant relax like he can.
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What ARE you on about, what backbone? Do you mean because they didnt go off to offices to work? It was because for most of them that wasnt an option not because they CHOSE not to do it.

So you have your child up on that moral high horse with you, well done just what society needs another person who thinks they have a right to judge other people.

Children years ago were up at the crack of dawn on school holidays working on family farms, my mother had cycle 9 miles to and from school every day - i wonder what your boy genius would think of that?
 
Vanilla said:
Somebody said they are in training to become solicitor and there was a comment that one would need to put in long hours to qualify/progress. That might be true of some of the larger high pressure firms, but certainly wouldnt be my experience of small to middling size firms. Indeed a career as a solicitor can be fairly flexible- endless possibilities of part-time/flexi-time/working from home etc.
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That was me Vanilla, yes exactly,i have 3 friends recently qualifed, worked in small town solicitors, none worked more than normal office hours - 9-5.
I have no intention of putting in 70 hours a week in big Dublin firms.
One girl works for home also a day a week.
 
jaybird said:
Which generation of women were the perfect ones jubi thnks we should all emulate?
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ones that prized their children above their dead end jobs. ones that actually chose to rear the children that they chose to have rather than off load them onto someone else (usually a creche) to rear.

so dont go burning your bra or giving you babies gin, that cant be the answer jaybird and it is reckless of you to suggest it.
 
Rigoletto said:
ones that prized their children above their dead end jobs. ones that actually chose to rear the children that they chose to have rather than off load them onto someone else (usually a creche) to rear.
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What about the ones who dont have 'dead end' jobs but actually have fulfilling careers? Should female doctors with children throw away the career to raise the children (as just one example)?

Rigoletto said:
so dont go burning your bra or giving you babies gin, that cant be the answer jaybird and it is reckless of you to suggest it.
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lol - classic, havent seen such a funny comment on AAM in a long time!!
 
jaybird said:
ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHERE MY CHILDREN SPEND THEIR DAYS OR WHETHER OR NOT I WORK!
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there you go again putting the word Business in the same sentence as children.
children are not a business and please rethink the bra burning, its terrible for the carbon footprint.
 
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