'Thank You' letters

[Aurnia]

Crikey! What happens if they don't buy a round when it's their turn...

Hah.
In this case, I spent hundreds as wedding was abroad - flights, accomadation, clothes, drink & food plus a present. And when I was struggling last yr.
A simple thank you would be nice. It's plain rude not to formally say thank you.

There is a longer story, some of which I removed and some I won't go into.

But part of the crux and to put it this way, would you still be friends with people who only see money as status, who are or were last yr insenstive to people on pay cuts or trying to clear debts, or unemployed by blogging where they just been or going to or just bought when others can't do the same etc. I know people got to live and not everyone has been affected but there is no need to broadcast everything.
And who can't be bothered to send card/text/mail/phone call to formally say thanks. And who can't be bothered to ring/text/mail to ask how a sick member of the family is the past while or how you are doing when you'd do it for them? And that it's always about them? And when you do run into them at another wedding after no contact for 8 mths, no mention of oh forgot to send card or how's things. As you can imagine it was a bit stilted.
Nah.

Celtic Tiger cubs they are and thank god this recession is here - might put a few manners on the ungrateful and selfish. I'm too long in the tooth for the BS. I'm outta there, have better friends of my own age.

 

[ophelia]

I think it's really bad when people don't make an effort to say 'thanks' for a nice gift for any occasion. I also find it ridiculous when parents end up saying thanks for their adult children when it is the children who got the present. I gave someone a Debs present and to the same lady I also gave a nice 21st birthday present - not a word or a text of thanks; Mammy met me on the street though on both occasions and said 'thanks' from ------ !

 

[Caveat]

Agree 100% Aurnia but...

I'm outta there, have better friends of my own age.

...don't really understand this part - is it significant?

 

[DB74]

But part of the crux and to put it this way, would you still be friends with people who only see money as status, who are or were last yr insenstive to people on pay cuts or trying to clear debts, or unemployed by blogging where they just been or going to or just bought when others can't do the same etc. I know people got to live and not everyone has been affected but there is no need to broadcast everything.

No-one is forced to read a blog and people shouldn't have to stay quiet about what they are spending just because others haven't got money. Why shouldn't they tell people? Real friends would be glad for them. Sorry but it just sounds like jealousy and begrudgery.

 

[Caveat]

I would say Aurnia has been hurt and is venting a bit. Of course people shouldn't have to be quiet about certain things but the main point is

people who only see money as status

If this part is accurate, I can see how she would be upset at the other aspects.

 

[fizzelina]

No-one is forced to read a blog and people shouldn't have to stay quiet about what they are spending just because others haven't got money. Why shouldn't they tell people? Real friends would be glad for them. Sorry but it just sounds like jealousy and begrudgery.

+1. If I put on my FB page "off to (insert fancy holiday destination here)" would my friends think it was bad form and that I should stay quiet about it?? Eh no they wouldn't. Like Caveat I agree Aurnia has probably just been hurt. She is sensitive about her money situation so thinks they are being insensitive. Are those people actually seeing money as status or is she wrong on that who knows. I don't agree putting on a blog/FB your holiday destination is seeing money as status.

 

[liaconn]

Fair enough, fair enough. The point about the expenditure wasn't very well made in hindsight.

I just don't think it's worth getting worked up about

I think there is a bit of an obsession with cards and linking them with etiquette and sending them for every little occasion.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest if I didn't get a thank you card for a present. But I seem to be in the minority.

To be honest, a lot of people worry that the bride and groom or whoever didn't realise they gave a present if a thank you card isn't sent and worry the label might have come detatched. I think that's an important reason to acknowledge receipt of a gift.

 

[Complainer]

To be honest, a lot of people worry that the bride and groom or whoever didn't realise they gave a present if a thank you card isn't sent and worry the label might have come detatched. I think that's an important reason to acknowledge receipt of a gift.

Absolutely - particularly when a gift might well have been given to the best man or a family member. You want to know that it has reached its destination.

 

[AgathaC]

but for things like birthday money I think it is simply polite to acknowledge.

I agree. I dont expect cards for every occasion but I definitely don't think it is too much to expect a simple 'thank you' text for birthday presents, or Christmas presents, for example.

 

[Aurnia]

Absolutely - particularly when a gift might well have been given to the best man or a family member. You want to know that it has reached its destination.

Which is why a card is always inserted with the gift ad then a tag on bag/wrapper

 

[Aurnia]

Agree 100% Aurnia but...

...don't really understand this part - is it significant?

Yes and no I suppose. I'm a good few yrs older than some people I thought as were good friends. I've several groups of friends - the particular crowd I'm mentioning are for the most part younger than myself.

I would say Aurnia has been hurt and is venting a bit. Of course people shouldn't have to be quiet about certain things but the main point is

If this part is accurate, I can see how she would be upset at the other aspects.

Yes venting just a tad but yep they did see money and items as status. Not how I was brought up. Different set of values.

Took the recession and lowering of my salary to realise this.

No-one is forced to read a blog and people shouldn't have to stay quiet about what they are spending just because others haven't got money. Why shouldn't they tell people? Real friends would be glad for them. Sorry but it just sounds like jealousy and begrudgery.

You don't know me or them, so you can't be sure.

Was on blogs in the good times things changed last year.
I removed myself from mine and their blog - not on blogs anymore - best thing ever. Wasn't ever on FB nor will I ever be.

Not jealous and not begrudery.
However I don't think it's wise to blog (and it's not just fancy places) to people.
I might buy things but I don't need or have the compulsion to share it with the world. I never have and this was something that I over looked at time but always annoyed me about their blogs.
I know the value of money and I Iike nice things too, I know what I can afford but I don't broadcast it. It's not how I was raised.

Keeping up with the Jones's and living beyond our means has got us where we are.

I've copped onto myself when others and myself were going through pain, the others didn't have that bit of sensitivity - it's not just hols, it's other stuff.
I have a few friends who are unemployed, who know them and 1 also removed herself away from this group - sadly away from me too.

Yes hurt from people I thought as friends, who over recession have found out are false friends, who told me to go to Mabs - for 2-3k in total credit card bill and to sell hard earned possesions when all I needed was to stop spending (which I did and cleared it!) when it was clocked up mostly while keeping up with some of them just before the world went mad here - would have been alright upto that point.

If they want have a lifestyle which for is/was for the main part all show (that's fine, different people have different idea's of what is acceptable debt - anything over 500 on my card, I do a freaker) - it's not how I was brought up.
I wasn't spoilt but I wasn't lacking for anything when growing up in a normal average family.
I'm also public service and got that thrown into my face quite a few times when they are in financial sector and as of yet not affected. And it's not like they are of the upper social scene - we all earn roughly the same - well me a bit less now.

Then they don't enquire for the last 9 mths how I'm doing when a member of my family is ill. That lack of concern (which was there up to the wedding) and the lack of thank you card for their wedding present was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I have money, enough to keep my going, a roof over my head (mortgage) and bills paid on time, and no debts to speak off. At least till budget day!

So am I sensitive on money - no. Am I living within my means - yes for the most part and always did except for a 6 mth period relapse. Am I wiser than last year - yes. Do I know who my real friends are - yes.

Anyway enough on me - this was about thank you letters. And not sending or formally saying thank you for wedding and big celebrations is plain rude. End of.

 

[thesimpsons]

Which is why a card is always inserted with the gift ad then a tag on bag/wrapper

but that doesn't tell you that the intended recipient got the present.

why is it seemly so hard for people to have basic good manners and thank people for a present. I really am shocked at amount of people who think its ok not to say thanks for quite often substantial (in my eyes anyway) wedding gifts.