Single mother needs to clear loans

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I think the whole point of the OP was to get advice....and it will take a while to sink in what is required to change and what she can drop and what is a non negotiable. We are not offering instructions, just an external view of a person's world and giving perspective. And we all have lived experiences of cash flow issues or significant life changes like the OP but we are all unique individuals and didn't all arrive at a perfect system overnight. Not everyone can be 100% resilient on the back of a pandemic, a separation and learning how to be a single parent with what seems like little support from the father and living away from family. It takes time to get back on track and to learn to run a family on a single income.

I genuinely believe if you find this website and can take on board the wonderful advice on here you are already many steps ahead. OP I for one would love to hear about how you get on when you do make changes to your current situation, what worked and what didn't.
 
Firstly well done OP on keeping all the plates spiinning. 2 x kids with a full time job is a serious achievement. To that end - If you're anything like me, there gets to a stage in the week where I'm going to treat myself to a coffee even if it's against my better instincts - everything implodes if you lose your sanity (or health) so as other posters have pointed out there are probably savings to be made but you should also protect yourself.

Surprised no-one has mentioned Revolut to manage your budget and spending. For my family (2 x Adults, 3 x very young kids) it's been a complete game changer. My salary goes into an established bank and then my approx monthly spend gets transferred to Revolut 1st of each month. The app then categorises each purchase for you and you can add categories that don't exist. This Analytics feature also recently extended to joint accounts which for us has been great. As you learn more where you spend you can then adjust budget accordingly. The only painful part for me was the switch in direct debits I wanted coming out of Revolut. Since then I've never looked back and have actually done away with excel except for high level savings forecasting.
 
DannyBoyD said:
One does not preclude the other & making it so is abuse.
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DannyBoyD said:
On the contrary every parent is expected to support their children.

Maintenance is almost certain to be ordered; what the amount will be is up to the court.
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Both parents have a legal right to see their children and to provide a home for those children to stay in when they are with that parent. Given the disparity in their incomes I think it is quite possible that a judge could order the mother to pay maintenance to the father so if I was her I'd be slow to go to court. Her Affidavit of means wouldn't make for good reading in such circumstances.
 
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Purple said:
Affidavit of means wouldn't make for good reading in such
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I don't see any indication of money being spent on illegal drugs, night clubs or gambling; so I don't see how such a statement could be made.

In any event, we are thoroughly off topic.

In summary, OP's children are entitled to maintenance from both parents, it does not require legal representation to apply. Maintenance will be assessed on both parents income & outgoings.
 
The focus on coffees or no coffees here is interesting. I wonder if the OP was male and they said they went for a few pints on a Saturday evening to keep them selves sane (while a neighbour cost neutrally watched the kids), I wonder would the anti sentiment be the same. Probably, maybe more so. Just wondering. I think there are more than enough great financial suggestions given throughout these posts. It's up to OP now. Stay sane OP
 
I think I fall somewhere between the softly softly and hardline approach that comes across in the thread and I think a bit of pespective from everyone is needed. You earn a lot but are currently overspending. Some simple changes and everything is back to normal

Withouth being judgemental, @Parazard2, I think you are suffering a bit of FOMO. It's like as if you feel that you and/or your kids are missing out by not spending money on all of these things. But equally, you don't need to have a year of hell to sort out anything. It's very doable in 3 months

I'll assume most of @Clamball's list is correct although I think the income is a bit high because they might have missed your pension contribution. In your shoes, I would do the following:

- Pension: Don't touch it, your employer contribution is probably based yours so leave it alone because you have a short term cash flow problem
- Mortgage: Do not touch it unless you have previously made overpayments. PTSB have an unusual perk where overpayments are treated as credit so if you have done this, then make use of it. Otherwise don't consider any payment holidays
- Loans: (- €750) A quick look on Avant shows refinance rates of 7.1%. I would refinance both immediately at €25k for 6 years. This reduces your monthly commitment to €425. You can still attack this new loan to clear it as early as possible but the goal is cashflow to give you breathing space and this reduces your spending by -€750
- Contingency: (- €400): I presume this is not a figure that is actually spent but rather you are trying to budget?
- Groceries: (- €300) This is high, switching stores or away from branded stuff will comfortably knock €300 off.
- Swimming: (- €150) Go as a family to a public pool. It should be €20-25 and do it once a month for the summer
- Gas & Electricity: (- €100) I'm assuming these were winter bills so will naturally come down but over the summer you need to look at your usage and consider some smarter controls for next winter
- Coffee's & personal spending: (- €150) Buy a travel mug, make your own & get out for walks during the week. At the weekend, treat yourself and go to a park/playground and let the kids do there thing while you enjoy it.
- Cleaner: (- €0) I would personally keep them because you can afford it
- Clothing: (- €200) Just don't buy anything for the next 3 months
- House maintenance (- €250): Again just don't spend it unless essential
-Subscriptions (- €30): Cancel for the summer, you already have sky and netflix

I would do all (- €2330) of the above for the next 3-4 months, catch your breath and then re-assess your spending. Over the summer, continue to use excess money to reduce the re-financed Avant loan

In addition to that, you could consider:
- Insurance: You really need to revisit all of these at the next renewal, you seem to be paying way too much. Especially what you have for the kids and pets. I really don't think they are paying for themselves
- Holidays: Ask some of your family to come to you this year and only travel if necessary
- Car: The figure of €250 monthly looks high if you WFH unless this is another loan or PCP. If it is, consider trading it for something you can buy outright
- Credit Card: If you don't have one, you should. But it should only be used for emergencies i.e. if you really needed to travel home. It gives you access to an emergency fund

But in general, don't be too hard on yourself. Focus on getting value out of the things you do rather than the money you spend. With a few simple changes, you can be back on track in a 2/3 months and probably clear the short term debt within 2.5 years.

You also need to remember that debt is not a bad thing as long as it is serving a purpose. You used it to make a clean break from your partner and it is effectively a home improvement loan. It doesn't need to be paid off at break neck speed. Extend the term, reduce your monthly commitment and then accelerate the payments as you see fit.
 
Great advice there, every change starts with just one step, and then keep going with the next step and then the next one etc.

If you WFH then the figure for the car seems very high, I thought you were doing a lot of mileage.
Does your spouse take the kids any day? I would use that day to batch cook and freeze dinners. Planning your meals in advance makes shopping and costs much easier. I know planning yourself is no fun but there a lady on instagram - Irish budgeting who regularly preps meals for a €5. So plenty of ideas.

Take the things you like to do - say take the kids to McDonalds and decide to do this only once a month, don’t deprive yourself but cut back on the instances.

See the changes as challenges, make charts with the kids. When you get out of debt you will be in a great position so envisage what that looks like, and keep imagining how you will feel.

You could turn it around in 12 months if you take Brontë and Purples advice or longer if you go slower. What do you think you will do? If you do post again we are here to support you and I think you will make great strides in just a few weeks to understand what you are actually spending. Once you know you can control it, and not the other way around.
 

Well said.

As most of the necessary financial advice has been provided on the thread to-date and some of the posts are now of a lecturing nature perhaps
Parazard2 would prefer at this stage for the thread to be closed off? It can always be opened in the future if they want to do an update.
 
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