Should your partner be present at the birth of your child??

[Betsy Og]

The only thing that bothers me a little is that mothers act in a proprietary way over a being that is not exclusively theirs, even before its born.

I mean when the watercooler guy delivers the big bottle you dont let him dictate delivery terms.... ok I'm being facetious, but my point is that mothers dont own the baby and shouldnt be able to dictate absolutely who should be there at the birth. Everyone else ignores the father but you'd expect a bit more from the mother (assuming father and mother in happy relationship etc. etc.)

 

[truthseeker]

but my point is that mothers dont own the baby and shouldnt be able to dictate absolutely who should be there at the birth.

If the day came that you were delivering a human being from one of your own bodily orifices I would respect YOUR body enough to allow you to say who should be present to view it.

 

[ney001]

If the day came that you were delivering a human being from one of your own bodily orifices I would respect YOUR body enough to allow you to say who should be present to view it.

Have to say I agree, I do think that although the baby is of course the mother and the fathers, the mother should have the right to decide who should be in delivery room with her. It's not about hurting feelings etc etc it's about who would be the most beneficial to mother and baby and at the moment of birth ONLY the mother and baby should matter!

Also, consider couples who may have split up, should the mother have to put up with the father being the only one in the room even though they maybe don't get on and he wouldn't be help her out?? don't think so, that is one decision which should be the mothers! .

 

[Betsy Og]

I'm not saying it should be 'open season' as to who is there, but I would have thought the father has or should have a right to be there. Or put it another way, I think a mother should need to have good reason to prevent the father from being there (e.g. break up etc).

If it comes down to it then the mothers rights should overrule those of the father, but I dont think a fathers entitlement should be dismissed out of hand.

 

[liaconn]

I think the father should have a right to come into the delivery room as soon as the baby has been delivered. I think, during the actual birth, it should be the mother's call. She's the one who's going to be in pain and probably a bit scared and should therefore be allowed decide if she'd be more comfortable without the dad there during the actual delivery.

 

[michaelm]

So should men be there or not?

I think so, if only for the best tea & toast on the planet. Particularly if the woman wants him to and he's not adverse to the idea. Ideally he'd have a calming influence. Irish maternity hospitals are under staffed and one can be left alone in a delivery suite; on one occasion, the waters having broke(n?), I had to scurry out and find a midwife, and a child landed minutes thereafter. My wife would want me there for support, to run errands, field phone calls and to ensure that she's not messed about. As for Consultants, my experience is that they usually land after the event . . it's the midwives who run the show.

 

[Vanilla]

Irish maternity hospitals are under staffed and one can be left alone in a delivery suite; on one occasion, the waters having broke(n?), I had to scurry out and find a midwife, and a child landed minutes thereafter.

Similar to my experience on number 2. I was in advanced labour ( which came on within 20 minutes) when my husband arrived. Before he came my allocated nurse didn't believe I was in pain and didn't bother to examine me or allocate any pain relief. When he saw me he demanded assistance straightaway and low and behold, was listened to. Baby was born less than half an hour later after a panicked rush to the delivery suite. And no time for an epidural ( or for the bottle of brandy I asked the consultant for) Don't know what I would have done if he hadnt arrived!