Should husband become a stay at home Dad?

[Purple]

Purple most men can not multitask. You are obviously not a real man.

You have my number. On the up-side my legs look fantastic in heels.
Actually I can't do it either but neither but then again neither can women, they just say they can. They end up half-doing a few things instead of doing them one at a time.
Your husband obviously has you well trained, something I failed miserably to do when I got married and I’ve had to live with the consequences ever since

 

[Purple]

Is this thread now off-topic?

 

[Yachtie]

Also what about the long term impact of becoming a stay at home dad. What I mean by this is if you have decided that you are not going to have any more kids then in 5/10/15 years the need for a stay at home dad will reduce but his ability to obtain employment in his current profession will become more difficult.

Would there be any option to reduce his working week to 3 days / 5 half days / etc as most employers who have had to cut wages might be open to this suggestion to reduce costs. Our creche offer different rates for 2/3/4 days or a full week.

So you might be able to reduce your creche costs, keep hubby in employment & even though the maths may mean that the gain per working day is not great for your hubby, he will have the option to stay in his profession and if he wants to in the future as the children move to secondary school and beyond go back working full time rather than the alternative of perhaps having no job to go back to in 10/15 years?

Personally with only 2 young kids, I would consider minding 3 kids a lot more difficulty and stressful than any job I have had to date!!!!

This is exactly what I was thinking. I agree that there are many things that come into consideration but walking out of a job and staying at home with the kids is not something I personally would do. It would be just too difficult to adjust. There is a stay at home dad accross the road from us. They have 3 children, the older two are in school and the youngest just turned two. He was telling me only the other day that he is un-employable now after having stayed at home for a few years to mind the kids.

The other thing you may want to keep in mind is his wife who told me that she spends a fortune on toys and stuff for kids in order to compensate for her being at work while daddy is there for the kids all the time. The guilt may eat another chunk of your take home pay.

I do the shopping and all of the cooking as it is so that wouldn’t be a big change for me.

If Mrs. Purple ever decides to divorce you, will you marry me? I would love a husband who can cook and shop! Mr. Yachtie insists that he doesn't know how to switch on any of the household appliances and he can't find the entrance to our local tesco. If it wasn't for me, he'd eat nothing but chinese takeaways and garage sandwiches.

 

[BoscoTalking]

i have the luxury of a stay at home dad and this came about due to one of our children being diagnosed with an illness needing a lot of care that we felt would be better minded by one of ourselves.
We have a net income of about 50k, a walloping mortgage and we are getting on ok. so far. so on a financial point with no more info you should be ok.

most of the surmising, sexist and all has been spot on - learning shopping treats = higher bill and hyper kids for example but being a "mammy" can be learned, just as learning to let the SAHD make decisions that would have been traditionally made by the mother.

My other half does take a lot of time off outside the home in the evening, he plays soccer etc. he needs it. but how will you feel, this is equally important to understand before you make the decision.

 

[Purple]

If Mrs. Purple ever decides to divorce you, will you marry me? I would love a husband who can cook and shop!

No problem! ...and who says I won't decide to divorce her?

 

[Firefly]

This is a very intersting thread and could make for a nice documentary.....

 

[ClubMan]

If Mrs. Purple ever decides to divorce you, will you marry me? I would love a husband who can cook and shop! Mr. Yachtie insists that he doesn't know how to switch on any of the household appliances and he can't find the entrance to our local tesco. If it wasn't for me, he'd eat nothing but chinese takeaways and garage sandwiches.

Why did you marry him?

 

[Purple]

Why did you marry him?

We're not married yet!

 

[sadie]

This is not an economics questions really, it's a lifestyle question.
It really depends on the personality of the guy involved.
Is is someone who defines himself by his work. If so, they may find being out of work very difficult.
There's no doubt that the kids would benefit from having a full time parent at home. But at the same time, employing a childminder to come in would work fine too.
If your other half decides to become a full time Dad, this should be part of a long term strategy and fit into his overall plan of the sort of person he wants to be - not a quick fix to get out of a job he hates.
Because he could end up being miserable, cranky, depressed and cross with the kids. Mums usually have hands-on mothering as part of their long term plan, and it may fit very well into the picture they have of themselves. Dads more usually have a picture of themselves doing very well at work and 'succeeding' and earning lots money to support their family.
So maybe your other half could be a stay at home Dad but enrol in a course or some home study that he's really interested in at the same time, to ensure his self-development needs as a person are being met to balance things out.

 

[Diziet]

T He was telling me only the other day that he is un-employable now after having stayed at home for a few years to mind the kids.

The other thing you may want to keep in mind is his wife who told me that she spends a fortune on toys and stuff for kids in order to compensate for her being at work while daddy is there for the kids all the time. The guilt may eat another chunk of your take home pay.

Staying at home for a few years does have an impact of one's career, but generally far more fuss is made is the stay at home parent is male - funny that.

For the record, I am female, I work full time, on a good salary, and hubby minds the kids. I have absolutely no guilt and I would not dream of spending money on toys to compensate. Why on earth feel guilty? It is a great arrangement. I have better earning potential, and he is an excellent parent. I love my kids, but I would not willingly stay at home to look after them full time.