Separated with mortgage of 180k

Muddle2018

Frequent Poster
Messages
53
Thanks @Muddle2018 - no I haven't asked for a TOE from the bank yet. That's the next plan of action, will be getting in touch with the bank tomorrow. Any advice on how best to go about that - face to face meetings, by phone or written as a formal letter? How did you go about it if you don't mind me asking? Hopefully, it will work. And best of luck with the progress on your own situation : )
I am with KBC and I was affected by the tracker so i called them and organised a face to face meeting in their bank which was pointless so they then sent a field manager out to my house to discuss things and I did the SFS with her. The TOE I am dealing with via phone/email and snail mail!!
 

TMurray2019

Registered User
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10
Thanks a lot for the information folks, this thread has given me a better idea of the next steps to take, much more so than meeting with both a solicitor and an advisor over the past while!

@NoRegretsCoyote - yes I have all bank statements from my account directly paying the mortgage, as I have done since the beginning.

@RETIRED2017 - not sure on the break down of interest versus capital over the past 5 years, I'll look through that and work that out thanks. Good point.

@Muddle2018 - thanks for that muddle, I've spoken with the bank, over the phone mentioned adding someone to the mortgage would be a possibility so I feel removing my ex won't be a possibility unless I can get someone to replace her as a guarantor (as Brendan suggested). Have a meeting set up for next week with them, will see how that helps move things on.

Thanks again for all recommendations and advice, really helpful! : )
 

TMurray2019

Registered User
Messages
10
Just a quick update after a meeting with the bank today.

- Taking over the mortgage on my own isn't an option (unless I'm earning in the region of 100k per year).
- As you suggested Brendan they said there's a slight possibility of adding a sibling to the mortgage, however, it's a big if, as the sibling would need to be in a strong financial position (possibly without another mortgage).
- If a sibling came onto the mortgage, I would lose the tracker (it would be moved to 2% for 10 years and onto a variable rate after that) no option to keep the tracker as is I'm told.

So in my eyes now - my options are:
1 - Keep paying the mortgage as is on tracker rate, with my ex-partner remaining on the mortgage for the foreseeable (and look at paying her a lump sum) - very uneasy at the idea of my ex-partner staying on the mortgage long term...
2 - Add a sibling to the mortgage, move to 2% for 10 years and onto variable after that
3 - Sell up and split the proceeds

An incredibly difficult decision to know what to do from here.
 

NoRegretsCoyote

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Messages
918
Suppose you sell and split the proceeds. You will walk away with €25k. Your income after maintenance is about €30k and you might get a mortgage of €120k max on your own.

This will get you a house worth €140k. I don't know where in Ireland you live, but €140k doesn't buy much of a family home except in very rural areas, and it will be a big step down from the house you live in now, and presumably less than your needs given that you have the kids half of the time.

You said that you might have a relative who would go on the mortgage. Would this relative provide you with a soft loan to help pay your ex-partner off? Otherwise it will be very difficult to see her walk away. At the same time you need a continuing relationship and each of you needs enough space to house the kids. Having the value of the home you live in cut by €100k won't be good for anyone.

Sorry but I think this case keeps circling back to the value of your tracker mortgage. There really is no scenario where either of you will do well if you lose it.
 

TMurray2019

Registered User
Messages
10
@PaddyBloggit – yes I have to agree with you Paddy - it's probably the best way of a total break in fairness. But selling a piece of family land that i was gifted, that was handed down from generations through my family, all because of an ex-wife looking for some cash, seems like a bad reason to sell. I think ill fight it and do all I can to hold onto the house and tracker.

@NoRegretsCoyote you're exactly right and that's what I'm thinking. Even spending around €200k+ would be a struggle to get anywhere decent where I am based. Im in a rural area and there's very little available, to either rent or buy.

Yes losing the tracker would be a nightmare - my ex-partner couldn't care less and doesn't see the value in it. It's no difference to her either way.
I'm not sure really if my family member could give me a loan, the only other solution I was considering was to look at paying my ex in installments, something 10k now, 10k in 5 years etc.

Sounds like another burden, but if it means keeping the house (and tracker) it would be a result in my eyes, and mean my ex would get the equivalent of any profit from the house with a deal like that. Not ideal - but fast forward 15 years I would be mortgage and debt free.
 

NoRegretsCoyote

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Messages
918
@TMurray2019
You can basically constructively do nothing.

You are in the house, paying the mortgage and paying her maintenance.

Tell her you are happy with the status quo and don't want to change it.

Maybe she could take legal action in the short run, but this would be expensive for her.

It will have to be settled some day, hopefully when you are both in a better financial position. In the meantime your occupancy and continued payment of the mortgage should give you more of a claim to it eventually. And you of course have somewhere to live.
 

TMurray2019

Registered User
Messages
10
Thanks @NoRegretsCoyote — yes exactly. I'm doing what I can to keep a home for the kids and paying a pretty handsome sum for maintenance at the same time too. The court, yes, its definitely a possibility but would be very expensive but I can't see it ever going that way, and if it does, she might gain 10-20k max longterm, nothing close to the amount that would ever result in a new house for her.

Yeah I think the plan now in my own head is to keep on as is, push back, keep paying the mortgage and maintenance and I hope in around 5 years down the line, with an increased salary, and hopefully a portion taken off the mortgage I may be in a position to take over the mortgage on my own and get it into my name.

Far from ideal, but such is life. It's all only money after all! :) Really appreciate your input and thoughts, its helped a lot! :)
 
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