N
Newhope
Guest
Hi all,
First time poster.. just wondering for some advise on a situation I find myself in.
Background:
Basically, I have split up with partner of 9 yrs, kids involved, not married. House bought for 335k in 2005, joint names - I stumped up all the cash towards the house following sale of a previous house I owned (deposit, Solicitors fees, decorating etc - approx 65k)
I have moved out of family home some months back & am now renting, I am paying a very large amount of maintenance each month. I do have a good job with a fairly decent salary coming in each month, credit rating is poor due to overstretching during Celtic Tiger, still playing catch up in clearing loans / credit cards, My ex partner doesn’t work. The house in negative equity to the tune of approx 80k.
The breakup has been extremely nasty & acrimonious - something I wasn’t and am still struggling privatley to deal with (solicitors, courts etc).
My ex is obviously living in the family home with kids, refuses to pay anything towards mortgage or have any of the maintainence paid towards monthly mortgage. With my new accomadation, living costs, solicitors fees, maintenance I have very little left each month to put towards the mortgage. What drives me mad is she wont talk, mediation meeting etc and appears to just care about getting as much money off me. ( At the outset of breakup, I offered to pay approx 80-90% of monthly mortgage in lieu of child maintenance to ensure kids and ex had a roof over their head, this offer was refused)
I am looking for advise re house, as recent behaviours by my ex has left me very frustrated as she is basically at the moment living rent free, socialising like mad and doesn’t seem to care about consequences of house not being paid. I am worried about how this will impact the kids who are settled there, however at this stage I'm asking myself if it's even worth my while putting anything towards the mortgage. I feel that my ex thinks when push comes to shove that I will somehow make the full payments each month..
The house has slipped to arrears in recent months as I simply cant afford to pay. I realise that the bank will not tolerate this behaviour for long and have received forms to fill in re expenditure / arrears & have spoke to them about the situation a couple of months back, while the chap sympathised with my plight he did mention that the figures I suggested I can possibly pay each month wouldn’t services the debt and that going forward myself and ex would be treated as separate parties.
Just wondering what options I have, taking over full mortgage, walking away, selling house, negative equity debt - in an ideal world I would love to live in the house with my kids & ex would be on her way but given current fathers rights that’s not going to happen. I am upset that the relationship has broken down, more so by subsequent behaviours / goings, very worried about my kids and also feel that all my hard work over last 15 years has left me renting whilst in debt, while ex living rent free in the house & treating me with such a lack of respect its unreal.
Any advice / laying out of options will be very appreciated.
First time poster.. just wondering for some advise on a situation I find myself in.
Background:
Basically, I have split up with partner of 9 yrs, kids involved, not married. House bought for 335k in 2005, joint names - I stumped up all the cash towards the house following sale of a previous house I owned (deposit, Solicitors fees, decorating etc - approx 65k)
I have moved out of family home some months back & am now renting, I am paying a very large amount of maintenance each month. I do have a good job with a fairly decent salary coming in each month, credit rating is poor due to overstretching during Celtic Tiger, still playing catch up in clearing loans / credit cards, My ex partner doesn’t work. The house in negative equity to the tune of approx 80k.
The breakup has been extremely nasty & acrimonious - something I wasn’t and am still struggling privatley to deal with (solicitors, courts etc).
My ex is obviously living in the family home with kids, refuses to pay anything towards mortgage or have any of the maintainence paid towards monthly mortgage. With my new accomadation, living costs, solicitors fees, maintenance I have very little left each month to put towards the mortgage. What drives me mad is she wont talk, mediation meeting etc and appears to just care about getting as much money off me. ( At the outset of breakup, I offered to pay approx 80-90% of monthly mortgage in lieu of child maintenance to ensure kids and ex had a roof over their head, this offer was refused)
I am looking for advise re house, as recent behaviours by my ex has left me very frustrated as she is basically at the moment living rent free, socialising like mad and doesn’t seem to care about consequences of house not being paid. I am worried about how this will impact the kids who are settled there, however at this stage I'm asking myself if it's even worth my while putting anything towards the mortgage. I feel that my ex thinks when push comes to shove that I will somehow make the full payments each month..
The house has slipped to arrears in recent months as I simply cant afford to pay. I realise that the bank will not tolerate this behaviour for long and have received forms to fill in re expenditure / arrears & have spoke to them about the situation a couple of months back, while the chap sympathised with my plight he did mention that the figures I suggested I can possibly pay each month wouldn’t services the debt and that going forward myself and ex would be treated as separate parties.
Just wondering what options I have, taking over full mortgage, walking away, selling house, negative equity debt - in an ideal world I would love to live in the house with my kids & ex would be on her way but given current fathers rights that’s not going to happen. I am upset that the relationship has broken down, more so by subsequent behaviours / goings, very worried about my kids and also feel that all my hard work over last 15 years has left me renting whilst in debt, while ex living rent free in the house & treating me with such a lack of respect its unreal.
Any advice / laying out of options will be very appreciated.