Refusing to socialise with colleagues

liaconn said:
Sorry, didn't mean to sound harsh. I wasn't criticising people who don't generally, for whatever reason, spend much time socialsing with colleagues. I was really talking about people (and I've heard it a few times) who say in a disdainful kind of voice 'oh God no. I never go out with people from work' or 'I have a life. Why would I want to socialise with work people'? It's as if they think they're superior to people who occasionally enjoy a night out with workmates.
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I have to say that if you keep watering down your original opening statement you will end up on the other side of the argument.

Liaconn. Would you participate in the "twelve pubs of Christmas" that seems to be all the rage now?
 
SoylentGreen said:
I have to say that if you keep watering down your original opening statement you will end up on the other side of the argument.

Liaconn. Would you participate in the "twelve pubs of Christmas" that seems to be all the rage now?
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I'm not watering it down. I'm clarifying what I meant as I don't seem to have expressed it very well in my opening post.

No I would be in a heap after the first six pubs!
 
Purple said:
I must have missed the post where Liaconn posted the name of their team member, or their own name, or where they work, or what they work at or even the tiniest sliver of information that could possibly identify who they were talking about.
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Well in reply to that all I can say is that in my case many of my friends and colleagues know I post occasionally on AAM. They know my username just as I know most of theirs. Therefore I would not post anything that I would not be prepared to say face to face with those people. :eek:
 
I try to get to maybe half of the social events and hardly ever miss the Christmas do, though its not something I'd be majorly psyched up for - not going to the Christmas do often seems to me to be a bit of a protest vote, I bet there's a statistically significant correlation between those who dont go and have moved on by the next party (he said somewhat tongue in cheek..).

On occasion I might go and not drink (a shocking statement I know), in which case I'd be leaving long before it gets messy.

In general though my view would be that its not too much to ask for people to make an occasional appearance, and I'd be tempted to draw negative conclusions if they never ever show up (not saying that's right or fair but in the absence of some other explanation - which I wouldnt go looking for - I think that's where it would go).

As regards keeping work & other stuff separate, would generally agree, I'm not an enthusiast for family photos, kids drawings etc on display.
 
W200 said:
Well in reply to that all I can say is that in my case many of my friends and colleagues know I post occasionally on AAM. They know my username just as I know most of theirs. Therefore I would not post anything that I would not be prepared to say face to face with those people. :eek:
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Well I make sure to never post anything that could identify me and will always change small details of an incident if I think it might give any clue whatsoever to who I am. So I am quite prepared to comment on unnamed people's behaviour on here in a way I wouldn't to their face.
 
Betsy Og said:
I try to get to maybe half of the social events and hardly ever miss the Christmas do, though its not something I'd be majorly psyched up for - not going to the Christmas do often seems to me to be a bit of a protest vote, I bet there's a statistically significant correlation between those who dont go and have moved on by the next party (he said somewhat tongue in cheek..).

On occasion I might go and not drink (a shocking statement I know), in which case I'd be leaving long before it gets messy.

In general though my view would be that its not too much to ask for people to make an occasional appearance, and I'd be tempted to draw negative conclusions if they never ever show up (not saying that's right or fair but in the absence of some other explanation - which I wouldnt go looking for - I think that's where it would go).

As regards keeping work & other stuff separate, would generally agree, I'm not an enthusiast for family photos, kids drawings etc on display.
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That's my view too although the occasional appearance doesn't necessarily have to be at Christmas. I can understand that people have a lot of demands on their time and wallets at Christmas time and a night out with people they see everyday is not necessarily top of their list. But it really annoys me when people can't just say that they're busy that night/can't get a babysitter or whatever. Why the need to go around making grandiose statements and turning their noses up and acting as if nights out with work people are beneath them. Also some of their colleagues will have put a lot of effort into organising the Christmas do and for others it might be the only event they've been invited to over Christmas so I doubt they're impressed with colleagues making derisory and dismissive comments about it.
And as for the miserable people who can never ever spare an hour of their precious free time to wish a colleague a happy retirement or to congratulate someone on a well deserved promotion, no matter how nice that person has been to them - I presume they won't be having any farewell party when they leave, as I doubt there'll be much of an attendance.
 
liaconn said:
But it really annoys me when people can't just say that they're busy that night/can't get a babysitter or whatever. Why the need to go around making grandiose statements and turning their noses up and acting as if nights out with work people are beneath them.
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+1

liaconn said:
And as for the miserable people who can never ever spare an hour of their precious free time to wish a colleague a happy retirement or to congratulate someone on a well deserved promotion, no matter how nice that person has been to them - I presume they won't be having any farewell party when they leave, as I doubt there'll be much of an attendance.
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No promotions around here since about 2009. Lots of farewells, but no farewell parties. Sad, but true.
 
liaconn said:
Also some of their colleagues will have put a lot of effort into organising the Christmas do and for others it might be the only event they've been invited to over Christmas so I doubt they're impressed with colleagues making derisory and dismissive comments about it.
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I understand that when attending the 12 pubs of Christmas the last 6 are usually the best!
 
Tomorrow, my colleagues and I in a particular sector, will be ordering in take-out food at lunch time. Indian for most, Chinese for some and for others, meat, spud and veg. €15 a head.

We will have non alcoholic drinks, I brought in some of my homemade elderflower syrup ( of which I am very pleased) and sparkling (water) others will bring in schloer or other non alcoholic drinks. We are after all in a college and it wouldn't look good to have the teachers tipsy after lunch on a Thursday afternoon.! :) Others will bring in the window dressing - candles, tablecloth and napkins. (There was an official work night out last week weekend.)

Marion
 
Marion said:
Tomorrow, my colleagues and I in a particular sector, will be ordering in take-out food at lunch time. Indian for most, Chinese for some and for others, meat, spud and veg. €15 a head.

We will have non alcoholic drinks, I brought in some of my homemade elderflower syrup ( of which I am very pleased) and sparkling (water) others will bring in schloer or other non alcoholic drinks. We are after all in a college and it wouldn't look good to have the teachers tipsy after lunch on a Thursday afternoon.! :) Others will bring in the window dressing - candles, tablecloth and napkins. (There was an official work night out last week weekend.)

Marion
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That sounds very nice. It's good to make an effort in work as well as for nights out.
 
Marion said:
Tomorrow, my colleagues and I in a particular sector, will be ordering in take-out food at lunch time. Indian for most, Chinese for some and for others, meat, spud and veg. €15 a head.

We will have non alcoholic drinks, I brought in some of my homemade elderflower syrup ( of which I am very pleased) and sparkling (water) others will bring in schloer or other non alcoholic drinks. We are after all in a college and it wouldn't look good to have the teachers tipsy after lunch on a Thursday afternoon.! :) Others will bring in the window dressing - candles, tablecloth and napkins. (There was an official work night out last week weekend.)

Marion
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Hi Marion,

That sounds lovely :) Nice article in the IT about non-alcoholic parties and the like: http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/christmas-cheer-without-the-beer-1.1629861

Alternatively you could slip something into your handbag :D
 
It was actually great fun. Somebody also brought in a 5ft decorated Christmas tree and we had lunch with music in the background. (Unheard of generally at work) There were just 8 of us and we had such a great laugh.

@Firefly, I have a very large handbag;)

Marion
 
I remember being berated for my poor leadership/management skills when some of my team (mainly mothers of young children at the time) declined to attend the after-hours 'morale' event. My attempts to explain that adults are generally good at working what is good for their own morale didn't go down too well. Maybe that's why I don't work there anymore.
 
Betsy Og said:
I bet there's a statistically significant correlation between those who dont go and have moved on by the next party (he said somewhat tongue in cheek..).
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I do remember reading a study about this - but it generally will be the case. If you are a relatively frequent "after hours" socialiser in the office (and are not a complete tool!) managers will rmember you more than the 9-5 people who, while may be amazing at their job, come across as not a "team player" and the like.
 
I have always attended any freebie Christmas party going! At my wife's previous employer, a guy got called into his manager's office the next working day after the party and got admonished for telling a risque joke in the presence of female colleagues. With the same employer on another occasion a newish girl got rather drunk and was promptly dismissed when she returned to work.

There was once in the Burlington, I destroyed a cubicle in the gents, too much to eat and drink and it all spewed back up. I tipped the attendant €20 and rejoined my colleagues who were none the wiser, thankfully.

Another Burlington Christmas party night, when I shared a room with 2 other guys, there was some serious action in the next room with the headboard banging, paper thin rooms and all that.
 
STEINER said:
Another Burlington Christmas party night, when I shared a room with 2 other guys, there was some serious action in the next room with the headboard banging, paper thin rooms and all that.
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Were you the meat in the sandwich?:)
 
I heard of a case over Christmas where a guy was let go because he could not remember the names of the people he was working with.

There is a happy medium.
 
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