Reasonable Child Maintenance

[Purple]

C'mon now @Gordon Gekko , we all know money and relationships are intricately and intimately bound together! Problems in either area tend to spill over into the other. The OP originally posted a "money" question but it obviously has a relationship dimension as well. And it'll be hard to solve the money problem without at least addressing the relationship issue as well. Typically, these things don't tend to get "fixed" as such, but it's more likely that a sort of semi-amicable truce can be worked out that meets all needs.

A lot of people who post here are going to have problems / financial disputes with, for example, neighbours, landlords, tenants, employers, employees, service providers, customers and so on. We would expect people to present the situation as it appears to their point of view. That's naturally one-sided and usually anonymous and I don't really see a problem with it.

It could also be presented that the father has sacrificed his time with his child in order to work hard and build up that property portfolio and €8000 a month income. Now the child's mother wants to reap the benefits of that hard work while excluding the father. I'm not saying that is what's happening but we all see the world through the prism of our own experiences, flaws, biases and insecurities.
Without knowing the people involved it is very hard to offer an opinion (and this is certainly not an appropriate forum to do so) but, as is the case in most personal relationships, the person who cares least has all the power.

 

[Seaniemed]

It could also be presented that the father has sacrificed his time with his child in order to work hard and build up that property portfolio and €8000 a month income. Now the child's mother wants to reap the benefits of that hard work while excluding the father. I'm not saying that is what's happening but we all see the world through the prism of our own experiences, flaws, biases and insecurities.
Without knowing the people involved it is very hard to offer an opinion (and this is certainly not an appropriate forum to do so) but, as is the case in most personal relationships, the person who cases least has all the power.

I would view it in another lens. This man has offered €70 a week towards the lifestyle of his child. €280 a month! Like, I have a child and if my partner and I split up I would put as much money as I could to ensure he had the lifestyle I wanted him to have.

This man has said "€280 a month is the value of the lifestyle I want my son to have". Financially prudent and morally bankrupt IMHO.

 

[Sue Ellen]

@Seaniemed

Financially prudent and morally bankrupt IMHO.

To make matters worse in this previous thread post 12 will show him in an even worse light

'Yes just to clarify, he wants me to find a landlord who accepts rent allowance and for me and children to move out so that he can move back into the 4 bed house (family home).

I was not always homemaker. When we first met our net income was much the same and I contributed to the mortgage and bills. Last 4 years I have been homemaker due to children and practicalities. We would have been paying out too much for childcare and he traveled a lot for work so made sense that I became homemaker.'

 

[Purple]

I would view it in another lens. This man has offered €70 a week towards the lifestyle of his child. €280 a month! Like, I have a child and if my partner and I split up I would put as much money as I could to ensure he had the lifestyle I wanted him to have.

This man has said "€280 a month is the value of the lifestyle I want my son to have". Financially prudent and morally bankrupt IMHO.

Yep, that's also a valid way to look at it, probably a more valid way. I was pointing out that we only have one parties perspective here.

 

[Purple]

@Seaniemed



To make matters worse in this previous thread post 12 will show him in an even worse light

'Yes just to clarify, he wants me to find a landlord who accepts rent allowance and for me and children to move out so that he can move back into the 4 bed house (family home).

I was not always homemaker. When we first met our net income was much the same and I contributed to the mortgage and bills. Last 4 years I have been homemaker due to children and practicalities. We would have been paying out too much for childcare and he traveled a lot for work so made sense that I became homemaker.'

Yes, that's shocking.

I know a couple in a similar situation. He works abroad, she claims rent allowance and doesn't work (except for cash jobs). He gives her €3000 a month in cash, transferred through her elderly father's account. I'd love to see them both get done for fraud and tax evasion.

 

[Purple]

Yes, that's shocking.

I know a couple in a similar situation. He works abroad, she claims rent allowance and doesn't work (except for cash jobs). He gives her €3000 a month in cash, transferred through her elderly father's account. I'd love to see them both get done for fraud and tax evasion.

@Sue Ellen to make things worse she lived in a large family home that the mortgage hasn't been paid on for 9 years.

 

[Feemar5]

When and if you move out is your partner providining a property for you and his child to live in or does he expect you to rent somewhere and he will still pay the 70 euros. I don't think showing aggression in front of child is good - you should both sit down and agree when the father will see his child and times should be strictly adhered to. You should talk to your child and explain how important it is that he/she spends time with Dad.