S
Sarah Wellband
Guest
QANTAS log books
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,
which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct
the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the
next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a
sense of humour.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted
by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers, (by the
way Qantas has the best safety record of any airline in the world)
P = problem logged by pilot
S = the solution and action taken by the mechanics
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre
P: Test flight OK, except auto land very rough
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on order
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
S: That's what they are there for
P: IFF inoperative
S: IFF always inoperative in off mode
P: Suspected crack in windshield
S: Suspect you're right
P: Number 3 engine missing
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Aircraft handles funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious
P: Target radar hums
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer
S: Took hammer away from midget
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,
which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct
the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the
next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a
sense of humour.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted
by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers, (by the
way Qantas has the best safety record of any airline in the world)
P = problem logged by pilot
S = the solution and action taken by the mechanics
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre
P: Test flight OK, except auto land very rough
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on order
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
S: That's what they are there for
P: IFF inoperative
S: IFF always inoperative in off mode
P: Suspected crack in windshield
S: Suspect you're right
P: Number 3 engine missing
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Aircraft handles funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious
P: Target radar hums
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer
S: Took hammer away from midget