Pub Conversations

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Hibernicatio

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Does anyone have any good ideas for typical pub quotes?

Typical pub chat in Irish bars, from both males and females, something like...

"If I won the lottery I would buy this pub and run it properly..."

Any ideas welcome, daft, serious or indifferent.
 
Hibernicatio said:
Does anyone have any good ideas for typical pub quotes?

Typical pub chat in Irish bars, from both males and females, something like...

"If I won the lottery I would buy this pub and run it properly..."

Any ideas welcome, daft, serious or indifferent.
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If I won the Euro lotto I would be the manager of course with only Women who are at least 9 out of 10 and single working for me.No TV's no serving of food just drink as it is a pub after all.Any one who does not go to the toilet but insists on farting because they think it is funny we get a life ban.No wearing of trainer's,baseball caps,or tracksuits even if you have just finished s football match (go home first have shower then come to my pub) thanks.I would only charge enough on the pint to cover wages,bills etc,I won the Euro lotto so I don't need the money.
 
I always said that if I won the lottery I would open a quality radio station with no DJs (my pet hate).

Don't know if it would be run from a computer-based system or if I would actually pay a few people to DJ but NEVER open their mouths.

When you listen to the likes of TodayFM and RTE2fm and the fact that in the afternoon they have to have 3 people on the show all laughing at each others jokes. Its pathetic and radio would be good if their mic's were taken off them.

And I wouldn't mind opening a decent bar too.
 
I'd love to open a 'lounge' bar, Ella Fitzgerald, Nancy Sinatra, St.Germain etc. on the turntable (run by a real-live DJ who will be shot immediately if they speak on the mic...actually no mic at all) loud enough (to not have to talk if you don't want to and just listen to the muzak instead) but not too loud to force punters to shout to be heard, comfy couches, very few bar stools (apart from around the few pool tables), good wine and beer (no Bud etc!), free wifi, select bands on select nights, good bouncers who turfed the twats who say 'roight' & 'rugger' and leave the normal people alone, no dress code (at all) and some fancy way of having this and being able to smoke too !

Oh, and all that on a beach and I'm done !
 
Pique318 said:
I'd love to open a 'lounge' bar, Ella Fitzgerald, Nancy Sinatra, St.Germain etc. on the turntable (run by a real-live DJ who will be shot immediately if they speak on the mic...actually no mic at all) loud enough (to not have to talk if you don't want to and just listen to the muzak instead) but not too loud to force punters to shout to be heard, comfy couches, very few bar stools (apart from around the few pool tables), good wine and beer (no Bud etc!), free wifi, select bands on select nights, good bouncers who turfed the twats who say 'roight' & 'rugger' and leave the normal people alone, no dress code (at all) and some fancy way of having this and being able to smoke too !

Oh, and all that on a beach and I'm done !
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I'd have a pint in there ok
 
Deffo would love to open a bar that gives out free finger food.

and I'd love to sit in a room somewhere in the bar with a camera over the door and I'd hire a bouncer with a listening device in his ear and I'd sit in my room looking at the door and whispering in his ear who to let and not let in so the place would be a womans heaven with loads of hunky men, not in runners or football jerseys.
 
ci1 said:
Deffo would love to open a bar that gives out free finger food.

and I'd love to sit in a room somewhere in the bar with a camera over the door and I'd hire a bouncer with a listening device in his ear and I'd sit in my room looking at the door and whispering in his ear who to let and not let in so the place would be a womans heaven with loads of hunky men, not in runners or football jerseys.
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So you'd open a gay bar in other words :rolleyes:
 
Very interesting replies...

Not exactly what I was thinking about, but excellent all the same.

Typical pub conversations was my theme of interest.

i.e. what do people talk about in pubs...

I know it sounds general, but there must be a top ten list.

Cheers
 
What do people talk about in pubs? Haven't been in a pub in a while, but from memory it goes something like this:

1. Politics- "Dat Bertie is some shyster..."
2. Religion- "Can't remember the last time I went..."
3. Sex- "she's somethin else, would ya?..."
4. Motors- "how do ya find her on juice?..."
5. Affairs matrimonial- "she's grand, and herself?..."
6. Money- "I remember when it was £2 AND you got change!..."
7. Beer, quality and quantity- "Not bad, I've had worse, fancy another?..."
8. Yer man- "sad really, some character all de same..."
9. Dat fella- "done well alright, still a b*lliX though"
10. Property- "Sure it could never last...."

Have I missed anything?
 
Hi Carpenter

Have I missed anything?
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Yes. GAA/Rugby/Soccer

In-depth discussions of managers, trainers and who should be on the team and oh! who should definitely be dropped!

Marion
 
How about a pub with a theme conversation - different each night. The moderators upstairs skulling Krug and listening to the microphoned tables. Anybody going off-theme is put on the lemonade immediately.
 
Carpenter said:
What do people talk about in pubs? Haven't been in a pub in a while, but from memory it goes something like this:

1. Politics- "Dat Bertie is some shyster..."
2. Religion- "Can't remember the last time I went..."
3. Sex- "she's somethin else, would ya?..."
4. Motors- "how do ya find her on juice?..."
5. Affairs matrimonial- "she's grand, and herself?..."
6. Money- "I remember when it was £2 AND you got change!..."
7. Beer, quality and quantity- "Not bad, I've had worse, fancy another?..."
8. Yer man- "sad really, some character all de same..."
9. Dat fella- "done well alright, still a b*lliX though"
10. Property- "Sure it could never last...."

Have I missed anything?
Click to expand...

Very good, sounds about right.
 
Marion said:
Hi Carpenter



Yes. GAA/Rugby/Soccer

In-depth discussions of managers, trainers and who should be on the team and oh! who should definitely be dropped!

Marion
Click to expand...

True, I completely left out sport, not a sports fan you see!
 
Hibernicatio said:
Does anyone have any good ideas for typical pub quotes?
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No I shertainly have not had enough, shank you very mush.

You're my best mate.

What are you bleedin' lookin' at?

Are you lookin' at my bird?

C'mere and say that.

Owwwwwww, arrrggggg!

You're barred.
 
Jaysus, it's lashing it down out there!

So where you off to on holidays this year ?

How's the job going ?

Did ya see the price of X ? I remember when it was only x !
 
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