Problems with kids near Kilbarrack dart station: tips

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@ Tarfhead & MandaC

It's a simple idea. If the kids get to know you on a personal basis - especially if you are doing activities with them then they're less likely to damage your property. And they're also more likely to stop other kids damaging your stuff.

Look I have lived in the area (I don't now but did for many years). It can be rough and some kids are let out to do whatever they like with no supervision. You can live in fear and call the Gardai everytime something happens and bear in mind that they can't always come immediately. You can move away which doesn't solve the problem either or you can get out and be more proactive in your community.

Personally I wouldn't call the local SF but that's just me. I'd rather get involved in the community or get to know the kids on a personal level than get some person with possible dubious connections to "have a word". Let's call it as it is - really it's condoning another form of criminality.
 
Maybe they are just kids messing and humouring them might work. I personally would not bother.

My Dad lives in kind of elderly people housing in what would be deemed a rough enough area (2 shootings in last 12 months) 1 to the front of house approx. 100m away. If they were to rely on calling the Guards, writing to Councillors, etc, they would be constantly living in fear.

I will say that the local Sinn Feinn Councillor does excellent Community work for the people in the area and sometimes can be the only person to get things done, and I dont mean in a sinister way.

What does work though is the power of fear....oh dont go near that road, that auld fella is a friend of the brother of the cousin of porky the penguin or whatever. That is just the way some of these places work. There is a lot to be said about Bullsworths comment about reputation, etc. even if you havent a clue what is going on.

OP are there any neighbours, etc you could call on, these kids are bullies and know who they are picking on.
 
I am somewhat annoyed that people are using this issue to promote Sinn Fein. I am very disturbed by the subtext: there is an understanding that Sinn Fein has access to a social mechanism that will control these kids, and an implication that this is not a bad thing. It's uncomfortably close to the world of punishment beatings and kneecappings.

Stella, you seem to think that being a foreigner is part of your problem. It might be, but it might not. There are plenty of people born locally who are also persecuted by kids. But you might have not yet tuned in fully with Irish ways, and not be good at interpreting the behaviour of kids. When you tell us that
Well in one occasion they were outside my garden and ask me something. I replied politely and went inside
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it might be that you actually missed a chance to build a bridge. Of course it depends on what they asked, and the spirit in which they asked it, but we Irish often build a little social conversation on such a basis -- an exchange of two or three sentences, sometimes more if people have time to spare. A polite answer followed by your going indoors might have seemed to them to be stand-offish; in their minds, that might have been reason to break your light.

You could possibly turn to your advantage the very thing you see as being linked with your problem: the fact that you are of foreign origin. It means that you have important life experiences that these kids have never had. There is a good chance that they would be interested in it, if an opening ever came up to get it into conversation. "Where I grew up, the way we did it was..." could be a good way to develop a conversation. It might do you a lot of good. It might even do the kids some good.
 
Dear Padraigb,

I know Irish culture a bit as I have been living here for 9 years and obviously I love Ireland. When I refer to the fact that I am scared to expose myself with my accent because I am a foreigner is because I am really afraid to be a target. One neighbour told me that they might pick on me because of it. Now I am just a little bit paranoid - but that's the way I feel at the moment. But thanks maybe I should have engaged with them - I just was scared.
 
Padraigb said:
it might be that you actually missed a chance to build a bridge. Of course it depends on what they asked, and the spirit in which they asked it, but we Irish often build a little social conversation on such a basis -- an exchange of two or three sentences, sometimes more if people have time to spare. A polite answer followed by your going indoors might have seemed to them to be stand-offish; in their minds, that might have been reason to break your light.
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Being polite or ''nice'' means they don't have any fear or respect for you. The message that something is wrong needs to be driven home and frankly they can be a bit slow as well as lacking in social graces. My approach would be to walk out there calmly and tell them confidently and without emotion that I can either 1. drag them around to their parents, 2. call the guards , 3. take their ball away etc and that they can choose which one they want. It works for me. Now I don't advise this for everyone or for a lone female especially. The ability to make them believe you belong there and they dont without tripping up is a special talent. Not everyone is going to be strong enough or gutsy enough to do it in which case I suggest having the company of friends with you at the time. If you show any weak emotions, even anger or humanity their sociopathic nature can take advantage of it. The problem I would have with befriending someone whos already done something bad to you or your property is that trying to act like what they did doesn't bother you and isnt wrong is selling your own values out. Its dishonest and its an act of total submission/surrender. If it comes to that point then you've already lost more than some damaged property. This will give these kids the notion of ''its ok we can break somebody elses window and he will befriend us.'' Plus I wouldnt want to be mixing socially with feral kids who dont share my values and I wouldnt want them calling around to my front door like we were friends. I would want them to feck off basically. Being nice to a bully doesnt work. A bully only respects strength.
 
bullworth said:
Being polite or ''nice'' means they don't have any fear or respect for you. The message that something is wrong needs to be driven home and frankly they can be a bit slow as well as lacking in social graces. My approach would be to walk out there calmly and tell them confidently and without emotion that I can either 1. drag them around to their parents, 2. call the guards , 3. take their ball away etc and that they can choose which one they want. It works for me. Now I don't advise this for everyone or for a lone female especially. The ability to make them believe you belong there and they dont without tripping up is a special talent. Not everyone is going to be strong enough or gutsy enough to do it in which case I suggest having the company of friends with you at the time. If you show any weak emotions, even anger or humanity their sociopathic nature can take advantage of it. The problem I would have with befriending someone whos already done something bad to you or your property is that trying to act like what they did doesn't bother you and isnt wrong is selling your own values out. Its dishonest and its an act of total submission/surrender. If it comes to that point then you've already lost more than some damaged property. This will give these kids the notion of ''its ok we can break somebody elses window and he will befriend us.'' Plus I wouldnt want to be mixing socially with feral kids who dont share my values and I wouldnt want them calling around to my front door like we were friends. I would want them to feck off basically. Being nice to a bully doesnt work. A bully only respects strength.
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Spot on.
 
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