This is a fairly sensitive subject and everybody has an opinion one way or the other. But, before you decide on one thing or another ask yourself "What price does financial independence come in at?" - Lose your financial independence and you lose much more in the process.
Planning to live off one salary?
- Thread starter willyfones
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The thing that most couples fight about it money. Especially in houses with low income. Yes this is a money website. And one might look at the figures and say that the wife will only lose 500 a month by not working, but that is to entirely miss the point. From my viewpoint I'd work even if I gained zero financially by paying for childcare.
And of course it can work out very well for those with the income to do so. But I suggest it won't work when things are tight. You've also got to consider what happens if the main income spouse loses the job. And yes been there done that.
Have a mature adult conversation about it is all very well, until reality hits. One of my SIL's wanted to stay at home, she simple couldn't because she's a massive spender. You wouldn't believe the stuff she wastes money on. And I've a sister married and both are spenders and can't say no to their kids, getting themselves in dept for them. Then I've the BIL sole earner, wife has never spent a penny on herself because he's so bad. Having to justify spending money on cigarettes.
I agree with Leper about what price does financial independence come at.
And of course it can work out very well for those with the income to do so. But I suggest it won't work when things are tight. You've also got to consider what happens if the main income spouse loses the job. And yes been there done that.
Have a mature adult conversation about it is all very well, until reality hits. One of my SIL's wanted to stay at home, she simple couldn't because she's a massive spender. You wouldn't believe the stuff she wastes money on. And I've a sister married and both are spenders and can't say no to their kids, getting themselves in dept for them. Then I've the BIL sole earner, wife has never spent a penny on herself because he's so bad. Having to justify spending money on cigarettes.
I agree with Leper about what price does financial independence come at.
The money is obviously a big part of 'IF' this can work. The part I am also concerned about is When and for How long - ie; at what age does this provide the most benefit, I can see the costs for creche etc when younger, but also looking at the increasing 'chauffeur' duties when kids get a bit older for after school activities.
Trying to figure out if people see this as a fixed (5yr?) arrangement or look at it differently?
Trying to figure out if people see this as a fixed (5yr?) arrangement or look at it differently?
Myself and my wife work part time and we are at home with the kids everyday. It is more expensive than you initially think , I did notice that the bills are more expensive for Gas because in Winter someone is here everyday so heating is on. You will spend money on the kids when your home with them . We eat a lot better now as someone cooks everyday.
Life is short and your kids won't be kids forever I have no fear of been broke , money is the most replaceable thing on earth , you can always earn money if you have to . I don't understand why people have kids and then spend there life working and kids are been rared by childminders , I see it myself with my own siblings. If your broke and home with your kids everyday doing stuff with them going for a cycle bring them to parks etc its better than been rich and bringing them to Disneyland . You can always get another job , but you can never get the time back with your kids you lost while working.
Life is short and your kids won't be kids forever I have no fear of been broke , money is the most replaceable thing on earth , you can always earn money if you have to . I don't understand why people have kids and then spend there life working and kids are been rared by childminders , I see it myself with my own siblings. If your broke and home with your kids everyday doing stuff with them going for a cycle bring them to parks etc its better than been rich and bringing them to Disneyland . You can always get another job , but you can never get the time back with your kids you lost while working.
Ceist Beag
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None of those adults sound all that mature to me....
Sure Bronte, things can happen such as the main income spouse losing their job but I think couples can plan for this to a certain degree. What I don't buy is this argument about financial independence. I see myself and Mrs Beag as a team. Just because I have an income and she doesn't, that doesn't mean I dictate where the money goes. It doesn't take too much work to split the income between us such that we can each spend as and when we need. You seem to view it that the home carer has to go cap in hand asking for money from the earner but it doesn't have to be like that if both are adult about the whole thing.
I don't think you can ever had a fixed view of these things. Really what I think you should do is have a fallback option at all times so that if things don't work out with plan A, you have a plan B. Each year you can review how things are going. We started off viewing it as something to be done while the children are in primary school but now we may well extend that through secondary school if the situation remains as is currently.
As with Fella, life is short and it won't be long before the children are off forging their own path. Like I said, I can appreciate that it's not always an easy decision for couples earning lower salaries where it would be hard to survive on just one of those salaries but if you think it's something you really want to do and that you can manage then I don't think you will regret it.
You might not get another job at the same level. your career might never restart.
Also people plan around one kids. But when there's more than one then all these plans extend, as do costs etc.
Its not about Disneyland. Its may be about never having any holiday, kids extra activities all cost money.
Drop a 2nd car, can affect what activities you can do on the same day. When you have 2+ kids doing say football 3 times a week, the time just disappears.
Then again, many have no option. You might have 3 kids in primary school. Someone has to look after them during the summer.
Also as the kids flee the next, or become independent, then looking after parents becomes an issue. if you think kids are expense don't look at nursing care.
Ceist Beag
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I think we're agreed on the "especially if money is tight" point Bronte, I said as much in my posts. However you don't seem to allow for the possibility that this is a good option for those that can afford it in your posts - you seem very much against the idea. When I put forward the argument that couples can avoid some of the scenarios you outline (such as rows over the money) by simply being mature adults and discussing these you countered this with examples of people who are not very mature imho. I don't think they are really good examples tbh because those people could (and most likely would/do) have rows over money if both are working as well.
I don't know of mature adults who behave the way you have outlined no - that's not to say I don't think it happens but given the OP has come on here looking for advice and has already don't a fair bit of thinking, I doubt very much that he/she falls into the category who would behave that way either.
I don't know of mature adults who behave the way you have outlined no - that's not to say I don't think it happens but given the OP has come on here looking for advice and has already don't a fair bit of thinking, I doubt very much that he/she falls into the category who would behave that way either.
Frank Underwood
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I think your incomes are two low for One of you to give up completely. Could one of you try to do three days and one try to do a four day week? Children would only have 2 days childcare then?
One of us stays at home full time and our remaining salary is a lot larger than your highest salary. Things come up, unexpected bills etc. also being at home is hard work. But if you have to watch every penny aswell it’s very very hard.
One of us stays at home full time and our remaining salary is a lot larger than your highest salary. Things come up, unexpected bills etc. also being at home is hard work. But if you have to watch every penny aswell it’s very very hard.
People are forgetting we only work to live not vice versa , I see people stressed out commuting living in big houses fancy cars and 2 weeks a year nice holiday with the kids . They don’t even know there own kids . I’m off with my kids 4 days a week and my wife the same you get to know them you get to do loads with them your realise the kids would rather you be there everyday with them than even having a holiday at all .
I bring my kids out nearly everyday i’m off .
If you want to work you’ll get another job if you can almost get by on one wage it won’t take much from another new job to bump you up .
Plenty of people struggle to make ends meet every month. I think we have habit on this forum of forgetting that. So its working to get buy. Not fund two skiing trips every xmas.
Sweet This post will be deleted if not edited immediately, does she have a gambling problem or something?
I have 4 kids and budget €100 a week on groceries. I shop in Lidl most of the time as they are close to work and so I can do the shopping on my lunch break. While Tesco & Supervalue have more choice the quality of the meat, fruit and veg in Lidl is consistently better than either of them. Asian markets full the void for spices, beans and other such stuff.
Ha, no, its all household\groceries\clothes\kids etc. I didn't mean to imply its spending on just herself.
It's still a lot of money though. Fine if you have it but €150 a week should be more than enough on grocery shopping.
You're forgetting Purple that some people have money. I'm sure I could spend just €100 on groceries but I choose not to. I imagine many of the posters on this website that give advice tend to have money, while those asking for advice don't. But many of us remember the days of struggling. Particularly when one starts out in married life.