Parents not supervising children in common areas

[extopia]

A friend of mine who lives in an apartment complex spoke to parents about unruly children and his car was keyed the following day. It doesn't think it was a coincidence.

Why not?

 

[liaconn]

children like to play and they are not proggrammed like machines. let them play where ever they want. And in the old days the community would supervise kids i.e a sence of collective social responsibility.. let kids be kids and yea accidents will happen thats life.

That's all very well, but in the old days people didn't sue at the drop of a hat. I can understand shesells concerns. Also, in the old days you could rely on parental back up if you supervised their children. Nowadays, if you tell off a child, you're just as likely to have an indignant mother or father on your doorstep.

 

[so-crates]

...Have spoken to one of the Dads before but he doesn't see it as a problem. He says he pays enough in management fees and his kids can play where they want to.

By the sounds of it he seems to think that child care is included in his management fees!

Hi Seashells, thankfully I don't have a similar experience to report and I think you are right to be concerned, it is irresponsible of parents to assume that others will watch out for their children and while I don't think that a child needs to be watched every second, it isn't unreasonable to ask of neighbours that they tolerate unacceptable behaviour from their offspring.
Have you spoken to the children involved? Do any of the adults (aside from their parents) tell them not to play in the carpark? Or correct them when they do so? It would be a pain and they may not react well at first but at least then you would be addressing the problem directly to the perpetrators as well as re-inforcing it with remonstrances to their parents. An adult seeing a child behaving in a manner that is a danger to them should always try and correct the child in the absence of any evident parental presence, following it up if necessary with the parent. It might cause some aggravation at first (especially if they are the sort of parent who defends their offspring irrespective of how bad the behaviour out of some misplaced sense of being corrected themselves) but say it often enough and have enough adults engaged this way the bad behaviour should diminish over time.
Presenting their parents with a bill each time they damage property should also cause a reaction - probably not the most positive one though by the sounds of your neighbour above!

 

[television]

parents have a lot to answer for I aggree liaconn.

 

[shesells]

Liaconn there is a complicating factor in that not all of the 3 families are Irish so there is a language issue but we have tried to show the kids how dangerous the car park is and point out that the garden is safer but it goes in one ear and out the other. Have spoken to one Dad but he's the one insisting he pays enough and his children can play where they want to...not sure if he knows that they got into a neighbours apartment though!

 

[truthseeker]

...not sure if he knows that they got into a neighbours apartment though!

Why dont you tell him that then? He might take it a bit more seriously if he finds out the kids are trespassing.

 

[DianeC401]

Hi Shesells, I sympathise and know exactly what you are talking about. We had the same problem in our apartment block two years ago which we did manage to tackle effectively, although it took some time...
Firstly we amended our house rules to address this and wrote to all residents letting them know the changes, stressing that it was the safety of the children that was our primary motivation. In addition we pointed out the insurance liability.
Secondly, we have a zero tolerance approach when it comes to vandalism. Although a few broken plants may seem trivial to some, having to repeatedly repair and replenish these can cost a fair bit of money. We impose fines for breaches of house rules and request payment for any repair costs incurred. If the culprits are owner occupiers we contact them directly but if they are tenants we go straight to their landlord and hold the landlord responsible for the behaviour of their tenants. This has proven to be highly effective and over a period of two years our development has improved hugely. Good luck!

 

[Traceybere]

Hi OP,

We have a simular issue at the moment - there is kids everywhere running all over the flower beds at the front of the house and climbing on the walls of the corner houses.

Last week after 3 of my trees were uprooted from the ground I spoke to one of my neighbours about his child. TBH he was mortified - very apolegetic and offered to replace the trees. Now I have a little one myself and I know kids will be kids but since I spoke to him the suituation isn't as bad. Hope this helps