truthseeker
Registered User
- Messages
- 2,577
The fact that you can describe a bunch of 10 year olds as the next gen of thugs really shows how far we sometimes let small situations blow up in conflict.
To be quite honest, I am feeling nearly suicidal over this level of belligerence and obnoxious behaviour. Being stuck indoors with blinds closed and having to deal with a tired and cranky toddler on top of the racket is just too much.
Im sorry, but when a person feels as follows:
I dont consider it to be a small situation.
Im not sure what bit you dont understand, the fact that neighbours and neighbours children are making someones life hell, or that someone has valid feelings of extreme frustration and upset as a result of the antics outside their window.
The OPs hysterical reaction doesn't quite make everyone else a culprit. A once peaceful estate has now descended into chaos, or could it be an over reaction from a mother of a young child.
Are they really making someones life hell, would this constitute hell for you?, it most definitiely wouldn't for me anyway.
The mother only called the Guards when a group of kids were causing damage to her and her husband's cars.
The problem here is that some stupid parents couldn't just say to their kids 'move your basket ball hoop away from that lady's house. She doesn't like the noise keeping her baby awake'.
Simple!
I have to agree. I’ve just had a read through this thread again, the hysterics and hyperbole is laughable at times. You could take the emotive language used here and is it would be similar to a gangland attack in south central L.A.The OPs hysterical reaction doesn't quite make everyone else a culprit.
By the OP’s own admission it’s a ‘nice’ area. Families looking to move in to a prospective area generally welcome the sight of neighbouring families playing together.A once peaceful estate has now descended into chaos, or could it be an over reaction from a mother of a young child.
Again another over reaction- It would be a real eye opener if the OP had to spend a few weeks in a hellish estate.Are they really making someones life hell, would this constitute hell for you?, it most definitiely wouldn't for me anyway.
Both groups are getting tarred, feathered and condemned in this thread.It's not the kids we're giving out about, it's the parents.
“That kind of thing” – you mean “playing”, although that just doesn’t have the same sinister spin to it.Of course kids were always up to that kind of thing.
However, nowadays, instead of neighbours getting apologies from the parents and the kids having manners put on them, neighbours trying to engage directly with parents get rolled eyes, insulting remarks or even being told to eff off.
That is exactly what should’ve been done here. Parent’s of the children ,or should I say offensive feral delinquents, could have been contacted by walking 20 yards to them if this kids didn’t listen the first time. The first they knew of this, The Guards were at the door. Nice to know you neighbour.Then, when people avoid direct confrontation with parents and use residents' associations, letters etc you have people saying 'but why didn't you just talk to the parents?'.
You hate the attitude of sports being compared to drug dealing but it fits your argument to make the same leap of the imagination from loud music to bank robbery??I also hate this attitude that if kids are driving their neighbours mad with basket balls, skateboards etc 'oh well, at least they're not joyriding, doing drugs etc'. If an adult neighbour was playing blasting music at 3 oclock in the morning would you say 'Oh well, at least they're not drink driving or robbing a bank...'?
Lets be honest here, the guards are useless in the situation.
Yes, the guards steer well clear of criminal matters. (Adjusts tin foil hat.)They don't want to get involved in criminal matters never mind anti social behaviour from local brats.
Thank God we do live in a different world. It’s called the real world. Feel free to join it.My sympathy is entirely with the OP as we had a similar situation for years. All these people advising "talk to the kids or their parents" live in a different world from the rest of us. These kids don't care cos they are kids, their parents don't care as long as they are not bothering them.
They play in front of your house because you are a decent person.
So you and your neighbour intimidate children. Congratulation you both must be extremely tough. Next week why not run over some puppies. Nice little pick-me-up.Once, whern the kid opposite couldn't play in fromt of my house he went to a neighbours house. This neighbour was known as a tough nut but the kid obviously didn't think it applied to him. Two minutes later and the whole road know exactly what our neighbour thought of the kid, his looks,his hair, his parents and what he would do to him if he came anywhere near his house in future.
From a social stand point that is not a good thing.Contary to what other posters have warned it didn't make the situation worse because nobody went near that house again. Ever.
So we should all toughen up, man our posts at our front gates and ear bash every youngin’ that even dares think of the streets as a place to play. Nice. Maybe “someone” could be employed to patrol the dark streets and run these little mites down where they play. #recession-busting-tip-no-245Moral of the story? Do exactly as my neighbour did (if you can put up with the looks from the doting parents)
I wish the children in your locality the same. Here I was thinking disciplining our children in this manner was gone. I’m off to fetch my cane so.Good luck
Hi all,
Going back to the OP – Fine you were having a rant, I’ve ranted about my neighbours as well but there is give and take. Picture yourself a few years down the line and your kids are out playing, will you want the guards called and letters in the door?I need to rant and I also need advice if anyone has any.
It’s a ‘nice’ area but you want it your way. It’s obvious these are the issues (I use that word lightly) that go hand in hand with urban living. As I said, what will happen when your children grow up, would you like your neighbours having the guards at the ready?Our family of three, including a 2 year old child own a semi-d in a 'nice' area.
As you didn’t approach the parents, you don’t know if they were permitted to go to the park after a certain time. It’s easy to dismiss them to the park but next week we’ll have a thread about a gang of youths down at the park unsupervised and we couldn’t enjoy a quiet day etc. etc.Our house is sort of half way down the street at the end of which is a very nice and huge park with playground and all kinds of sports grounds in it.
Whether three metres or 12 metres, the noise of kids playing will travel, basketballs will go up and down the road. You were given advice to move the child to a back bedroom and dismissed that as akin to you watching tv in the utility room, a good leap of imagination. We went through the same thing, kids trying to sleep, some people working nights, noise outside. It would’ve been an easy short term solution to move the child to a back bedroom, especially if you wanted to open windows.Over the last five evenings, the boys on the street, aged 10-12 have been bringing out a basketball hoop onto the street and playing basketball at the end of our driveway which is also about 3 meters from our young child's bedroom.
Did you explain it to them when they came back. Perhaps they thought give the baby a few minutes to go to sleep and we’ll be fine to go again. They are kids, sometimes they do have to be told twice. Or three times.The first night, I went out at 8.30-ish pm and asked them calmly to move away as out 2yr old was trying to go to sleep. They went away for 5 minutes and came back. .
So despite what has spouted throughout this thread they did indeed listen to you, not only that they went indoors and were supervised. Granted ,they made a bit of noise whilst inside but are you going to raise your kids in silence? Will you appreciate the text at 2-3-4-5 o’clock if a baby is howling??On the second night, they did the same and I went out again and explained that our child goes to bed at 8pm and pleaded with one of the boys who has a sibling of the same age telling him that he should know how upset and cranky young children get when they are tired and can't sleep. They went into the house next door (semi-d) and were howling and causing all kinds of racket until around 10.30pm.
So this is the first communication with the parents? Text messages are insincere, juvenile and can have a tendency to misrepresent your feeling. In fairness, they went in-doors when you requested, your baby does not govern the bed time for the neighbourhood childrenI texted the parents and asked them to ask the boys to keep it down as our 2yr old was woken up and is really upset. I got a reply to say that the boys are over-excited.
“Back at it again” – They were playing. Please stop the sinister over tones of what they were actually doing. The response was inappropriate/rude/smart. A quick walk over to your neighbour would’ve softened their cough even if you didn’t bring up the remark. They were pushing the boundaries, kids do that, we’ve all done that.The following night, they were back at it again and when we asked them to move, we were told that it isn't our road and they can do as they please.
So nowadays, friends don’t call over; they SUMMON REINFORCEMENTS. Maybe the 15 balls were required as they planned 15 sorties out of the trenches and “over the top” to engage the enemy cars. This is getting a bit like West-side story/Dads army-esque.On the fourth night, we parked our cars on street in order to reduce the amount of space they had for basketball and hoping that they'd get the message and move away. Reinforcements from neighbouring roads came in and there were about 15 children with 15 balls on about 2 meters (with of the road), bouncing balls off our cars.
We called the gardai and they came along 20 minutes later.
You called the guards on children playing. That is how you treat your neighbours? All they received was a text message at this point asking them to keep the noise down, whilst the children were indoors early. Now they have the guards knocking at the door. The social stigma from this is not nice. You said yourself that it is a nice area, yet you are quick to issue letters and call the guards for a frivolous and unwarranted matter. You should have been cautioned for wasting their time.It's needles to say that the gardai were practically useless as they kept saying that children are children and they have the right to play and if they weren't intentionally damaging our property there is nothing they can do. They did go to talk to two of the parents though but came back with the same 'children are children',... .
Is that what residents associations are for- A complaints handling body?We have written to one of the parents who is also our road's representative to the Resident Association asking him to deal with this. .
Ah, the not-in-my-back-yard argument. This will be nice when you children are out to play some day. I hope the small area outside your house keeps them occupied because if you keep this up that’s all they’ll see of their street where they grew up.We have pointed out that we have as much right to live in our home peacefully as children have to play and that IF we are the only residents bothered by the noise, it should be easy to move play elsewhere and resolve the issue.
It is not bullying. It is your over-reaction to innocence that has caused this tension.I am not sure how this is going to work out because we weren't home yesterday evening and I dread going home this evening and having to put up with this kind of bullying.
Careful now, what they may also have established is an OP or “Observation post” close to the front lines to ensure that you are indeed home before calling in reinforcements.Those children look into our living room window to see if we are there and then congregate just to be a nuisance.
I wouldn’t be so sure of that. The children “Summoned Reinforcements” you called the guards for no reason.Before anyone asks, we haven't fallen out with any of our neighbours, .
What will happen the day you do have party; maybe a family birthday, communion. You’ve now set a precedent that there shalt be no noise and everyone shall live in silence. That’d would put a dampner on proceedings if the guards showed up at your door instead of a friendly neighbour just popping their head in with a request.we mind our own business and are not in anyone's way. There are no noisy parties or a lot of guest ' traffic' in our house.
They don’t know, all you did was send a text message asking them to keep it down one evening, next thing they see is the guards at their door and letters in the door.I just don't understand how can parents allow this, knowing that it's upsetting somebody.
5. The following rematch I dishonestly said that Jimmy Killeens goal did not count as it went over the post. The post was my jumper. I do apologise for not having regulation posts.
.
Are they really making someones life hell, would this constitute hell for you?, it most definitiely wouldn't for me anyway.
And, as already pointed out many posts ago - why dont these kids play outside their own homes? The reason, as Ive no doubt is obvious, is because their own parents have moved them along. So why is the OP being villified for wanting them to move along?
No-one here is defending noise pollution or anti social behaviour. We are simply pointing out that kids playing at 8.30pm on a bright summers evening is neither.
I havent bothered going back to find the post that says it, but didnt they carry on screaming their heads off til after 10pm on that occasion? And in response to a text she simply got - they are over excited. So why didnt the parents tell them to pipe down at that point? And save the over excitement for when people are not trying to get a child to sleep?
liaconn,I cant find where the OP called the Gardai only after damage to her and her husbands cars.
Can you point that out?
..?
.
There is a poster who has picked apart the OPs posts (and others) in a sarcastic manner. Thats not helpful and it makes the poster look like they are just being smart when they hear someone has an issue. Maybe this poster isnt bothered by noise? Or maybe they have no empathy.
I can appreciate both the upset of having my peace disturbed, the tenterhooks of waiting for the noise to begin again and the feelings of utter frustration and anger that arise from such issues. Mental torture is a valid form of upset.
To suggest the OP is over reacting emotionally would suggest to me that people just dont get it. There is a failure to understand the level of frustration noise can cause. One persons over reaction is anothers under reaction, its all subjective. Maybe some people dont like how the OP reacted, thats their issue, but it doesnt invalidate the OPs feelings.
Hi all,
I need to rant and I also need advice if anyone has any.
I quoted the above to remind others that advice was asked for and given
When offering this advice, even if it is hard to hear,they may speak from experience , have several children ,had issues with neighbours and found out the hard way how to resolve it.And maybe yachtie could look at things differently when it was seen how others saw the situation?
If posters only want advice that doesn't involve a level of critisim nor anyone pointing out where they could have done things differently,then perhaps they should state that in their posts.And you know what,it does no harm to hear how others think on a subject,even if you disagree.
This is not getting at Yachtie,its more about those who are complaining about the advice,which was asked for and given..advice is something you can take or leave...
This was at 8:30p.m. it was children playing. It cannot be described as excessive and out of the ordinary. Had it been at 1/2/3:00 a.m. you would have a point.It would for me, if either my sleep or my childs (I dont have one but if I did) was being disturbed.
No they are not.More upsetting would be the fact that these kids are actually targeting the OPs house when she is in deliberately to provoke a reaction.
This is a separate and very different scenario. I do recall reading about this, if I’m correct you did attempt to resolve this through different avenues. Please correct me if I am wrong on that.I did have a pretty hellacious time recently with neighbours, so I know how upsetting it can be. You cant relax in your own home waiting for the noise to start again. Granted, for me it was happening from 3am thru to the next morning, weeknights too, but still, I do hate unnecessary noise. I cope with earplugs and a white noise machine, as I suggested to the OP.
My ears are burning.There is a poster who has picked apart the OPs posts (and others) in a sarcastic manner. Thats not helpful and it makes the poster look like they are just being smart when they hear someone has an issue. Maybe this poster isnt bothered by noise? Or maybe they have no empathy.
Mental torture is a valid form of upset. Except that’s not the case here. But hey, it again sounds a lot more victimising than “playing”.I can appreciate both the upset of having my peace disturbed, the tenterhooks of waiting for the noise to begin again and the feelings of utter frustration and anger that arise from such issues. Mental torture is a valid form of upset.
Ah I see, you agreeing with the OP means you ‘get it’ and we are so clearly wrong. The OP went from speaking to the children, who complied with the request to calling the guards, with a text and a letter thrown in- but that wasn’t over reacting. Nice.To suggest the OP is over reacting emotionally would suggest to me that people just dont get it.
It’s been mentioned numerous times that everyone recognises that noise within reason can be annoying but there has to be give and take. In this case the OP wanted her own way and refused to budge. Nice neighbour. As I said, this will be fine until the OP’s children want to play outside someday.There is a failure to understand the level of frustration noise can cause. One persons over reaction is anothers under reaction, its all subjective. Maybe some people dont like how the OP reacted, thats their issue, but it doesnt invalidate the OPs feelings.
No-one here is defending noise pollution or anti social behaviour. We are simply pointing out that kids playing at 8.30pm on a bright summers evening is neither.
As already pointed out by the OP, the children were playing outside their own home, as Sunny’s post states:And, as already pointed out many posts ago - why dont these kids play outside their own homes? The reason, as Ive no doubt is obvious, is because their own parents have moved them along. So why is the OP being villified for wanting them to move along?
The OP already said the kids went into the neighbours house after telling them to go away. Assuming they are like normal estates and the houses are close together, then it doesn't sound like the kids were that far away from their own home
So, Instead of playing outside their own home they should go down the road and play outside someone else’s? Sorry but apparently that’s termed as “ calling in reinforcements” and “mentally torturing others”. I know I was not allowed a certain distance from the house at certain ages, could it be that this is the case again here. Responsible parents wanting to keep an eye on their children outside their own home? But that wouldn’t quite fit your argument.I totally agree with this. There seems to be a feeling amongst some people that anyone who asks kids to keep the noise down a bit, go and kick their ball somewhere else or whatever are anti 'children playing'.
Exactly. But the problem here is the OP wants to take but no give.That's not the case. In a modern housing estate there has to be give and take. Of course you're going to have to put up with noise out on the road on Summer nights and nine times out of ten people just put up with it.
That is what happened and the kids complied, a number of times. Yet the OP can still feel free to text them (when they’ve gone indoors to facilitate her needs) to tell them to keep it down. Kids do get overexcited sometimes. This is an isolated incident at a reasonable hour. Would the OP appreciate a text every time the child woke during the night telling her to keep it down?But sometimes a neighbour might come out and ask the kids to move somewhere else because their baby is trying to sleep/they have to be up really early in the morning/they have a splitting headache, whatever.
Wait I thought they were only supposed to play outside their own houses?Unless someone is constantly and unreasonably complaining, the sensible thing for parents to do is just tell their kids to go and play somewhere else
Correct. However the OP just wants it their way.Give and take works both ways. It's not all about people just putting up with children's noise because they live on a housing estate, it's also about children sometimes having to curtail their noise or activities because they too live on a housing estate where there are other people who have to be considered.
I disagree therefore am obnoxious. I deal with each argument separately, I find it clearer that way. I shall try to be more ambiguous in future.People over analysing every encounter, as one or two posters are doing on here (one in a particularly obnoxious, not to mention silly and provocative, manner), are in my view the ones who escalate minor problems and events.
So it gives them license to rule over the neighbours? You’ve said in your posts there is give and take. All we’ve heard is that the OP’s child wants to sleep (with windows open) on a summers evening. The children playing are targeting, mentally torturing, calling in reinforcements, driving her suicidal (a disgusting reference) ,all this despite complying with the OP’s requests to stop. How are they doing this – by playing sports. Yes I see how I’ve overreacted.If someone's upset, then they're upset.
So they can please one and go down the road and upset another. You are quite correct; it didn’t kill the children when they did actually comply with the OP’s requests to stop.It doesn't kill children to go and play somewhere else if they're upsetting one of the neighbours.
Nobody has referred to childrens ‘rights’ but what we have advocated is a that there are reasonable noise levels that you will have to put up with living in semi-d housing estates. If, in this case, they are still causing distress there are reasonable agreements that can be met from both sides – Not my baby has to sleep everyone be quiet.Getting up on your high horse about your children's 'rights' is hardly going to lead to good relations with your neighbours.
I quoted the above to remind others that advice was asked for and given
When offering this advice, even if it is hard to hear,they may speak from experience , have several children ,had issues with neighbours and found out the hard way how to resolve it.And maybe yachtie could look at things differently when it was seen how others saw the situation?
If posters only want advice that doesn't involve a level of critisim nor anyone pointing out where they could have done things differently,then perhaps they should state that in their posts.And you know what,it does no harm to hear how others think on a subject,even if you disagree.
This is not getting at Yachtie,its more about those who are complaining about the advice,which was asked for and given..advice is something you can take or leave...
That's fair enough and there has been some good advice given on this thread.
However, there has also been some sarcastic, sneering and unhelpful criticism (not from you Thedaras) which really demonstrates the complete chasm that often exists between parties in this type of situation.
Whether people agree with Yachtie or not, she is genuinely upset about the noise, feels she has done everything in her power to stop it and now is at a loss as to what to do next. Some people's posts have been less that helpful and I think Yachtie has shown considerable restraint in how she has dealt with them - something which leads me to believe that she does not get into arguments lightly and is obviously feeling the strain of this particular situation with the children and parents on her road.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?