Noisy children

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MrMan said:
The fact that you can describe a bunch of 10 year olds as the next gen of thugs really shows how far we sometimes let small situations blow up in conflict.
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Im sorry, but when a person feels as follows:

Yachtie said:
To be quite honest, I am feeling nearly suicidal over this level of belligerence and obnoxious behaviour. Being stuck indoors with blinds closed and having to deal with a tired and cranky toddler on top of the racket is just too much.
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I dont consider it to be a small situation.

Im not sure what bit you dont understand, the fact that neighbours and neighbours children are making someones life hell, or that someone has valid feelings of extreme frustration and upset as a result of the antics outside their window.

Yachtie - as you are feeling so awful about this, you need to address the effect that the noise is having on YOU first. Please get earplugs. Boots do great ones shaped like little xmas trees, you wont hear much through them. That will at least get your own frustration down a bit. Your own annoyance is being compounded every time you hear any bot of noise from outside and you need to break that cycle.

For your child, very heavy curtains to block out as much noise as possible, and what about one of those white noise machines? I got one from amazon around xmas time as the noise from surrounding apartments can be hard to get to sleep through and you can set it for a half hour or an hour or whatever, it really does blot out noise, there are different loops, the sea, rain, jungle noises etc....
 
I was thinking about this,and it reminded me of a friend of mine who moved into a housing estate with her twin boys aged 12.
At the age her boys were at,they slept in until at least 11 or 12 on a saturday,also during the summer they would also get up late.She was a stay at home mother.
She told me that during the summer and on Saturdays and Sundays,they were woken up every time..by the children next door.
There were three children under five living next door to her,and they went out to the back garden most mornings and would play with balls and shout and make noise from 8.15 in the morning.This is what little children do..
Interestingly when her boys where in the back garden playing ball etc until half 9 at night,her neighbour was complaining that they were too noisy.
The moral of the story is ,when you have small kids,you want everyone to be quiet in the evenings,they when they are older you want peace in the morning ..
I was at my friends house yesterday and the two little ones next door to her ,were out in their back garden all day,playing and making noise,on the other side of her is a teenager,who had his friends over and they were having a great time in the sun,signing and playing music,while we sat in her garden with our radio on..all the while thinking ,that when we had little kids ,that was what they did,and when her kids are in the garden thats what they do.
 

The OPs hysterical reaction doesn't quite make everyone else a culprit. A once peaceful estate has now descended into chaos, or could it be an over reaction from a mother of a young child.

Are they really making someones life hell, would this constitute hell for you?, it most definitiely wouldn't for me anyway.
 

The mother only called the Guards when a group of kids were causing damage to her and her husband's cars.

The problem here is that some stupid parents couldn't just say to their kids 'move your basket ball hoop away from that lady's house. She doesn't like the noise keeping her baby awake'.

Simple!
 

If 15 kids were smacking 15 basketballs off of someones car, I would expect Guarda action, and i would also expect that there was substantial damage done to the car. If the guards decided that this was not the case, we can't simply say that the guards are useless on these occassions, because I presume the Guards have to use a little sense and perspective in their work.

We are also talking about a cul de sac of 13 houses, and the OPs house is smack in the middle, so where exactly should the kids go to stop noise from their playing? They are going to be heard by her if they are playing anywhere on the street.
The OP also said that when they were asked to stop playing in front of her house that they went inside next door and were howling and causing all kinds of racket until 10.30pm. They obviously weren't bothering the neighbour, or maybe they are immune to the sounds of kids terrorising their neighbours.

Storm in a teacup - simple.
 
MrMan said:
The OPs hysterical reaction doesn't quite make everyone else a culprit.
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I have to agree. I’ve just had a read through this thread again, the hysterics and hyperbole is laughable at times. You could take the emotive language used here and is it would be similar to a gangland attack in south central L.A.
MrMan said:
A once peaceful estate has now descended into chaos, or could it be an over reaction from a mother of a young child.
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By the OP’s own admission it’s a ‘nice’ area. Families looking to move in to a prospective area generally welcome the sight of neighbouring families playing together.
MrMan said:
Are they really making someones life hell, would this constitute hell for you?, it most definitiely wouldn't for me anyway.
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Again another over reaction- It would be a real eye opener if the OP had to spend a few weeks in a hellish estate.
The OP stating that they are “suicidal” over this issue is a disgusting reference to a very serious condition. Kids playing outside you house does not bring this on, if it does you have bigger issues to worry about.
liaconn said:
It's not the kids we're giving out about, it's the parents.
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Both groups are getting tarred, feathered and condemned in this thread.
liaconn said:
Of course kids were always up to that kind of thing.
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“That kind of thing” – you mean “playing”, although that just doesn’t have the same sinister spin to it.
liaconn said:
However, nowadays, instead of neighbours getting apologies from the parents and the kids having manners put on them, neighbours trying to engage directly with parents get rolled eyes, insulting remarks or even being told to eff off.
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If the OP had engaged directly with the parents directly instead of sending letters, then I doubt this would’ve been as big an issue. Nice generalisation on the “yoof” of today by the way. None of those things actually happened here but hey why not add some padding to this story.
liaconn said:
Then, when people avoid direct confrontation with parents and use residents' associations, letters etc you have people saying 'but why didn't you just talk to the parents?'.
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That is exactly what should’ve been done here. Parent’s of the children ,or should I say offensive feral delinquents, could have been contacted by walking 20 yards to them if this kids didn’t listen the first time. The first they knew of this, The Guards were at the door. Nice to know you neighbour.
You hate the attitude of sports being compared to drug dealing but it fits your argument to make the same leap of the imagination from loud music to bank robbery??
johnd said:
Lets be honest here, the guards are useless in the situation.
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Because they never should’ve been involved in the first place. It was a waste of their resources.
johnd said:
They don't want to get involved in criminal matters never mind anti social behaviour from local brats.
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Yes, the guards steer well clear of criminal matters. (Adjusts tin foil hat.)
Thank God we do live in a different world. It’s called the real world. Feel free to join it.
johnd said:
They play in front of your house because you are a decent person.
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(Tin foil hat back on) Yes that is top of the list of a kids selection criteria for where they can play.
So you and your neighbour intimidate children. Congratulation you both must be extremely tough. Next week why not run over some puppies. Nice little pick-me-up.
johnd said:
Contary to what other posters have warned it didn't make the situation worse because nobody went near that house again. Ever.
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From a social stand point that is not a good thing.
johnd said:
Moral of the story? Do exactly as my neighbour did (if you can put up with the looks from the doting parents)
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So we should all toughen up, man our posts at our front gates and ear bash every youngin’ that even dares think of the streets as a place to play. Nice. Maybe “someone” could be employed to patrol the dark streets and run these little mites down where they play. #recession-busting-tip-no-245
johnd said:
Good luck
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I wish the children in your locality the same. Here I was thinking disciplining our children in this manner was gone. I’m off to fetch my cane so.
 
This has become a farcical thread and spun far from the OP’s original story. The children’s parents don’t care; the children aren’t children- now a mob of ill-repute urchin’s intent on car demolition by basketball. The only way is to go to your gate and show yourself up as the local nut job so no-one will ever go near your house. Ever again.
That’ll be nice when your kids grow up and nobody wants to play with them.
Yachtie said:
Hi all,
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Yachtie said:
I need to rant and I also need advice if anyone has any.
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Going back to the OP – Fine you were having a rant, I’ve ranted about my neighbours as well but there is give and take. Picture yourself a few years down the line and your kids are out playing, will you want the guards called and letters in the door?
Yachtie said:
Our family of three, including a 2 year old child own a semi-d in a 'nice' area.
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It’s a ‘nice’ area but you want it your way. It’s obvious these are the issues (I use that word lightly) that go hand in hand with urban living. As I said, what will happen when your children grow up, would you like your neighbours having the guards at the ready?
Yachtie said:
Our house is sort of half way down the street at the end of which is a very nice and huge park with playground and all kinds of sports grounds in it.
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As you didn’t approach the parents, you don’t know if they were permitted to go to the park after a certain time. It’s easy to dismiss them to the park but next week we’ll have a thread about a gang of youths down at the park unsupervised and we couldn’t enjoy a quiet day etc. etc.
Yachtie said:
Over the last five evenings, the boys on the street, aged 10-12 have been bringing out a basketball hoop onto the street and playing basketball at the end of our driveway which is also about 3 meters from our young child's bedroom.
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Whether three metres or 12 metres, the noise of kids playing will travel, basketballs will go up and down the road. You were given advice to move the child to a back bedroom and dismissed that as akin to you watching tv in the utility room, a good leap of imagination. We went through the same thing, kids trying to sleep, some people working nights, noise outside. It would’ve been an easy short term solution to move the child to a back bedroom, especially if you wanted to open windows.
Yachtie said:
The first night, I went out at 8.30-ish pm and asked them calmly to move away as out 2yr old was trying to go to sleep. They went away for 5 minutes and came back. .
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Did you explain it to them when they came back. Perhaps they thought give the baby a few minutes to go to sleep and we’ll be fine to go again. They are kids, sometimes they do have to be told twice. Or three times.
So despite what has spouted throughout this thread they did indeed listen to you, not only that they went indoors and were supervised. Granted ,they made a bit of noise whilst inside but are you going to raise your kids in silence? Will you appreciate the text at 2-3-4-5 o’clock if a baby is howling??
Yachtie said:
I texted the parents and asked them to ask the boys to keep it down as our 2yr old was woken up and is really upset. I got a reply to say that the boys are over-excited.
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So this is the first communication with the parents? Text messages are insincere, juvenile and can have a tendency to misrepresent your feeling. In fairness, they went in-doors when you requested, your baby does not govern the bed time for the neighbourhood children
Yachtie said:
The following night, they were back at it again and when we asked them to move, we were told that it isn't our road and they can do as they please.
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“Back at it again” – They were playing. Please stop the sinister over tones of what they were actually doing. The response was inappropriate/rude/smart. A quick walk over to your neighbour would’ve softened their cough even if you didn’t bring up the remark. They were pushing the boundaries, kids do that, we’ve all done that.
So nowadays, friends don’t call over; they SUMMON REINFORCEMENTS. Maybe the 15 balls were required as they planned 15 sorties out of the trenches and “over the top” to engage the enemy cars. This is getting a bit like West-side story/Dads army-esque.
This could’ve been sorted if you spoke to the parents or gone and spoke to them again. I recall neighbours asking us to move as a child. We were young, we just wanted to play. Unfortunately the aul ones didn’t understand the repercussions if we didn’t resurrect the 2-0 deficit in that evenings soccer game. Children’s priorities do differ.
Yachtie said:
We called the gardai and they came along 20 minutes later.
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You called the guards on children playing. That is how you treat your neighbours? All they received was a text message at this point asking them to keep the noise down, whilst the children were indoors early. Now they have the guards knocking at the door. The social stigma from this is not nice. You said yourself that it is a nice area, yet you are quick to issue letters and call the guards for a frivolous and unwarranted matter. You should have been cautioned for wasting their time.
Yachtie said:
We have written to one of the parents who is also our road's representative to the Resident Association asking him to deal with this. .
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Is that what residents associations are for- A complaints handling body?

Yachtie said:
We have pointed out that we have as much right to live in our home peacefully as children have to play and that IF we are the only residents bothered by the noise, it should be easy to move play elsewhere and resolve the issue.
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Ah, the not-in-my-back-yard argument. This will be nice when you children are out to play some day. I hope the small area outside your house keeps them occupied because if you keep this up that’s all they’ll see of their street where they grew up.
Yachtie said:
I am not sure how this is going to work out because we weren't home yesterday evening and I dread going home this evening and having to put up with this kind of bullying.
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It is not bullying. It is your over-reaction to innocence that has caused this tension.
Yachtie said:
Those children look into our living room window to see if we are there and then congregate just to be a nuisance.
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Careful now, what they may also have established is an OP or “Observation post” close to the front lines to ensure that you are indeed home before calling in reinforcements.
So now instead of making noise by playing sports, they are a nuisance because they are outside. This has really become laughable now.
Yachtie said:
Before anyone asks, we haven't fallen out with any of our neighbours, .
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I wouldn’t be so sure of that. The children “Summoned Reinforcements” you called the guards for no reason.
Yachtie said:
we mind our own business and are not in anyone's way. There are no noisy parties or a lot of guest ' traffic' in our house.
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What will happen the day you do have party; maybe a family birthday, communion. You’ve now set a precedent that there shalt be no noise and everyone shall live in silence. That’d would put a dampner on proceedings if the guards showed up at your door instead of a friendly neighbour just popping their head in with a request.
Yachtie said:
I just don't understand how can parents allow this, knowing that it's upsetting somebody.
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They don’t know, all you did was send a text message asking them to keep it down one evening, next thing they see is the guards at their door and letters in the door.
How can parents allow this? “This” is children playing. Nothing more.

I look on this thread with complete disdain. Neighbours are now nothing more than a forced nuisance ready to annoy one at a whim. Other neighbours hide behind curtains and get others to do their dirty work. Moreover, apparently many of you never experienced a childhood where you ran, hid, played and grew up with friends. I seem to be a guilty party here.
I confess I did do the following m’lud:
1. Missed the goal and clipped Mrs Walshes tree. Two crab apples dropped. Presumed dead.
2. Hid at Mr. Breen’s bins. They were inside his front gate.
3. Hopped in to Mr. Mulligans garden to retrieve a stray ball. It was a good shot but the wind took it over the bush I swear.
4. Exceeded noise levels when I scored the winner against the next road over. We were 5-2 down but next-goal-the-winner superseded that. (street rules)
5. The following rematch I dishonestly said that Jimmy Killeens goal did not count as it went over the post. The post was my jumper. I do apologise for not having regulation posts.

Should any of you wish to contact my parents to report these serious matters, I beg of you not to contact the ‘Gendarmerie’. I will go quietly home.
 
liaconn,I cant find where the OP called the Gardai only after damage to her and her husbands cars.
Can you point that out?
If anyone damages your property ,you of course have a legitimate right to complain and demand to be compensated for it..but as I said I dont see where she called the Gardai ,after damage was done to her and her husbands cars.Did I miss that?
I got the impression that she called them because there was kids making noise with basketballs..?
 
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bullbars said:
5. The following rematch I dishonestly said that Jimmy Killeens goal did not count as it went over the post. The post was my jumper. I do apologise for not having regulation posts.

.
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Knew it you lying sod.

Jimmy
 
MrMan said:
Are they really making someones life hell, would this constitute hell for you?, it most definitiely wouldn't for me anyway.
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It would for me, if either my sleep or my childs (I dont have one but if I did) was being disturbed.

More upsetting would be the fact that these kids are actually targeting the OPs house when she is in deliberately to provoke a reaction.

I did have a pretty hellacious time recently with neighbours, so I know how upsetting it can be. You cant relax in your own home waiting for the noise to start again. Granted, for me it was happening from 3am thru to the next morning, weeknights too, but still, I do hate unnecessary noise. I cope with earplugs and a white noise machine, as I suggested to the OP.

There is a poster who has picked apart the OPs posts (and others) in a sarcastic manner. Thats not helpful and it makes the poster look like they are just being smart when they hear someone has an issue. Maybe this poster isnt bothered by noise? Or maybe they have no empathy.

I can appreciate both the upset of having my peace disturbed, the tenterhooks of waiting for the noise to begin again and the feelings of utter frustration and anger that arise from such issues. Mental torture is a valid form of upset.

To suggest the OP is over reacting emotionally would suggest to me that people just dont get it. There is a failure to understand the level of frustration noise can cause. One persons over reaction is anothers under reaction, its all subjective. Maybe some people dont like how the OP reacted, thats their issue, but it doesnt invalidate the OPs feelings.

And, as already pointed out many posts ago - why dont these kids play outside their own homes? The reason, as Ive no doubt is obvious, is because their own parents have moved them along. So why is the OP being villified for wanting them to move along?
 

The OP already said the kids went into the neighbours house after telling them to go away. Assuming they are like normal estates and the houses are close together, then it doesn't sound like the kids were that far away from their own home.

No-one here is defending noise pollution or anti social behaviour. We are simply pointing out that kids playing at 8.30pm on a bright summers evening is neither.
 
Sunny said:
No-one here is defending noise pollution or anti social behaviour. We are simply pointing out that kids playing at 8.30pm on a bright summers evening is neither.
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I havent bothered going back to find the post that says it, but didnt they carry on screaming their heads off til after 10pm on that occasion? And in response to a text she simply got - they are over excited. So why didnt the parents tell them to pipe down at that point? And save the over excitement for when people are not trying to get a child to sleep?
 

How would the OP have liked a text in the middle of the night asking her to stop her 2 year old from making a racket because her neighbours kids were trying to sleep. Welcome to the world of semi detached living.
 
thedaras said:
liaconn,I cant find where the OP called the Gardai only after damage to her and her husbands cars.
Can you point that out?
..?
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In her first post she said:

On the fourth night, we parked our cars on street in order to reduce the amount of space they had for basketball and hoping that they'd get the message and move away. Reinforcements from neighbouring roads came in and there were about 15 children with 15 balls on about 2 meters (with of the road), bouncing balls of our cars. We called the gardai and they came along 20 minutes later
 

I totally agree with this. There seems to be a feeling amongst some people that anyone who asks kids to keep the noise down a bit, go and kick their ball somewhere else or whatever are anti 'children playing'. That's not the case. In a modern housing estate there has to be give and take. Of course you're going to have to put up with noise out on the road on Summer nights and nine times out of ten people just put up with it. But sometimes a neighbour might come out and ask the kids to move somewhere else because their baby is trying to sleep/they have to be up really early in the morning/they have a splitting headache, whatever. Unless someone is constantly and unreasonably complaining, the sensible thing for parents to do is just tell their kids to go and play somewhere else. Give and take works both ways. It's not all about people just putting up with children's noise because they live on a housing estate, it's also about children sometimes having to curtail their noise or activities because they too live on a housing estate where there are other people who have to be considered.

People over analysing every encounter, as one or two posters are doing on here (one in a particularly obnoxious, not to mention silly and provocative, manner), are in my view the ones who escalate minor problems and events. If someone's upset, then they're upset. It doesn't kill children to go and play somewhere else if they're upsetting one of the neighbours. Getting up on your high horse about your children's 'rights' is hardly going to lead to good relations with your neighbours.
 
I feel sorry for poor old Yachtie. There are few things more deeply frustrating than your infant child being kept awake. If you do not have children, you may not understand that, or if you have older children, you may have forgotten the early years, but at least have a bit of empathy for a poster who, by her own admission, is having a rant and is at the edge of reason with upset by what she perceives as intransigent parents and a bunch of belligerent, sniggery kids.
 
If I were in Yachties shoes I would feel very annoyed also. Little children can get so upset when overtired. Then sleep is a battle not to mind having to put up with the outside noise.I don't know Yachties situation but if she's working all day and has to face all this when she gets home it must be very draining and stressful for her. I would'nt look forward to it. Also what effects one person may have no effect on another but I'd be very slow to judge or make light of how anybody reacts to a given situation.
 
 
truthseeker said:
It would for me, if either my sleep or my childs (I dont have one but if I did) was being disturbed.
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This was at 8:30p.m. it was children playing. It cannot be described as excessive and out of the ordinary. Had it been at 1/2/3:00 a.m. you would have a point.
truthseeker said:
More upsetting would be the fact that these kids are actually targeting the OPs house when she is in deliberately to provoke a reaction.
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No they are not.
They were playing outside their own houses at a reasonable hour.
Night 1: requested to stop and did
Night 2: requested to stop and did. They even went in to their own houses.
Night 3: Playing again but the guards were called.

Nothing they did was an attempt to “ provoke” the OP. This is another incorrect use of inflammatory words that distort the situation in favour of your argument. Simple words just don’t make them sound malicious do they.
This is a separate and very different scenario. I do recall reading about this, if I’m correct you did attempt to resolve this through different avenues. Please correct me if I am wrong on that.
Also, note you used ear plugs/white noise machine ; the OP was offered a very simple and plausible solution. Move the child to a back room (especially if they had to open a window) This was shot down as akin to watching television in a utility room. The OP showed no attempt to budge but she should get her way.
My ears are burning.
I’m am bothered by noise. I don’t like it when my neighbour cuts the grass on a Saturday after I have sampled some fine wine the night before. I don’t like it when the post man / milkman comes early. If I work irregular hours, can I stop the builders down the street from working during the day. However, unlike the OP and some of you here, I can differentiate between malicious and outlandish behaviour and people just getting on with their lives. Can I demand that all these people stop making noise if and when I request at a whim? Think of the world we’d live in.
truthseeker said:
I can appreciate both the upset of having my peace disturbed, the tenterhooks of waiting for the noise to begin again and the feelings of utter frustration and anger that arise from such issues. Mental torture is a valid form of upset.
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Mental torture is a valid form of upset. Except that’s not the case here. But hey, it again sounds a lot more victimising than “playing”.
truthseeker said:
To suggest the OP is over reacting emotionally would suggest to me that people just dont get it.
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Ah I see, you agreeing with the OP means you ‘get it’ and we are so clearly wrong. The OP went from speaking to the children, who complied with the request to calling the guards, with a text and a letter thrown in- but that wasn’t over reacting. Nice.
It’s been mentioned numerous times that everyone recognises that noise within reason can be annoying but there has to be give and take. In this case the OP wanted her own way and refused to budge. Nice neighbour. As I said, this will be fine until the OP’s children want to play outside someday.

As Sunny put it:
Sunny said:
No-one here is defending noise pollution or anti social behaviour. We are simply pointing out that kids playing at 8.30pm on a bright summers evening is neither.
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As already pointed out by the OP, the children were playing outside their own home, as Sunny’s post states:
Sunny said:
The OP already said the kids went into the neighbours house after telling them to go away. Assuming they are like normal estates and the houses are close together, then it doesn't sound like the kids were that far away from their own home
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liaconn said:
I totally agree with this. There seems to be a feeling amongst some people that anyone who asks kids to keep the noise down a bit, go and kick their ball somewhere else or whatever are anti 'children playing'.
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So, Instead of playing outside their own home they should go down the road and play outside someone else’s? Sorry but apparently that’s termed as “ calling in reinforcements” and “mentally torturing others”. I know I was not allowed a certain distance from the house at certain ages, could it be that this is the case again here. Responsible parents wanting to keep an eye on their children outside their own home? But that wouldn’t quite fit your argument.
liaconn said:
That's not the case. In a modern housing estate there has to be give and take. Of course you're going to have to put up with noise out on the road on Summer nights and nine times out of ten people just put up with it.
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Exactly. But the problem here is the OP wants to take but no give.
liaconn said:
But sometimes a neighbour might come out and ask the kids to move somewhere else because their baby is trying to sleep/they have to be up really early in the morning/they have a splitting headache, whatever.
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That is what happened and the kids complied, a number of times. Yet the OP can still feel free to text them (when they’ve gone indoors to facilitate her needs) to tell them to keep it down. Kids do get overexcited sometimes. This is an isolated incident at a reasonable hour. Would the OP appreciate a text every time the child woke during the night telling her to keep it down?
liaconn said:
Unless someone is constantly and unreasonably complaining, the sensible thing for parents to do is just tell their kids to go and play somewhere else
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Wait I thought they were only supposed to play outside their own houses?
Correct. However the OP just wants it their way.
liaconn said:
People over analysing every encounter, as one or two posters are doing on here (one in a particularly obnoxious, not to mention silly and provocative, manner), are in my view the ones who escalate minor problems and events.
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I disagree therefore am obnoxious. I deal with each argument separately, I find it clearer that way. I shall try to be more ambiguous in future.
liaconn said:
If someone's upset, then they're upset.
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So it gives them license to rule over the neighbours? You’ve said in your posts there is give and take. All we’ve heard is that the OP’s child wants to sleep (with windows open) on a summers evening. The children playing are targeting, mentally torturing, calling in reinforcements, driving her suicidal (a disgusting reference) ,all this despite complying with the OP’s requests to stop. How are they doing this – by playing sports. Yes I see how I’ve overreacted.
Perhaps I should have kept a level head and advocated johnd’s approach, they’ve targeted the decent neighbour ( I wonder if the A-team could help??) Best thing is to get the wife out to try to clip them with the car and then become the neighbour psychopath so they come within 20 yards of your house. Even if they wer etold to move down the road.
liaconn said:
It doesn't kill children to go and play somewhere else if they're upsetting one of the neighbours.
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So they can please one and go down the road and upset another. You are quite correct; it didn’t kill the children when they did actually comply with the OP’s requests to stop.
liaconn said:
Getting up on your high horse about your children's 'rights' is hardly going to lead to good relations with your neighbours.
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Nobody has referred to childrens ‘rights’ but what we have advocated is a that there are reasonable noise levels that you will have to put up with living in semi-d housing estates. If, in this case, they are still causing distress there are reasonable agreements that can be met from both sides – Not my baby has to sleep everyone be quiet.

Getting on your high horse and calling the guards, sending letters and texts without explain the situation is hardly going to lead to good relations with your neighbours.
 
 
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