This from a man who previously posted about a neighbour building a SHED too close to him???
Noisy children
- Thread starter Yachtie
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This from a man who previously posted about a neighbour building a SHED too close to him???
Lets be honest here, the guards are useless in the situation. They don't want to get involved in criminal matters never mind anti social behaviour from local brats. My sympathy is entirely with the OP as we had a similar situation for years. All these people advising "talk to the kids or their parents" live in a different world from the rest of us. These kids don't care cos they are kids, their parents don't care as long as they are not bothering them.
They play in front of your house because you are a decent person. Once, whern the kid opposite couldn't play in fromt of my house he went to a neighbours house. This neighbour was known as a tough nut but the kid obviously didn't think it applied to him. Two minutes later and the whole road know exactly what our neighbour thought of the kid, his looks,his hair, his parents and what he would do to him if he came anywhere near his house in future. Contary to what other posters have warned it didn't make the situation worse because nobody went near that house again. Ever.
Moral of the story? Do exactly as my neighbour did (if you can put up with the looks from the doting parents)
Good luck
Your girlfriend would feel different as you would if you had a young baby/child and trying to have some peace. You're probable very young and its hard to have sympathy when you have never been in that situation.
Well they would if they got a text and then a letter about it! Yes! I did know where my kids were when they were teenagers as they spend most of their time in Bed!
Lucky you, there were close to 20 kids running riot and about 6 parents just watching on the footpath immediatelly outside our house until 10.10pm. Our two year old who normally goest to sleep at 8pm fell asleep just now. His room was too hot and we couldn't open any windows in order to avoid the noise.
To be quite honest, I am feeling nearly suicidal over this level of belligerence and obnoxious behaviour. Being stuck indoors with blinds closed and having to deal with a tired and cranky toddler on top of the racket is just too much.
Yachtie that is dreadful behaviour by those youngsters and worse by the parents looking on and allowing that to happen. What about the neighbours right next door to you, does it effect them or do they have young children that need to get to sleep early? If you had other neighbours that would back you on your complaint then at least it would'nt be just you on your own. Its very upsetting for you having this ongoing and its also upsetting for your little child. Hopefully this will stop soon. Would it be worth a try again going to somebody in the residents assosc?
Forums by their nature attract every form of life (even lepers) and sometimes the person posting a problem/scenario does not get the response that is wanted. We can argue that anybody coming on here must take the good with the bad. But everybody is different and what one believes now may not be the same that was believed in the past. Opinions change, people change and I would advise everybody participating on these forums to take everything with a grain of salt. I think it is time to bring this thread to an end.
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Guest105
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I have an idea, next time the kids come and play basketball or whatever on your patch go out and ask if you can join in their game, I reckon they will be gone in the blink of an eyelid
To be honest Yachtie's neighbours (the parents) sound like idiots. Nothing worse than a mob like that. No doubt there is a ringleader looking for some neighbourhood power, you know the type.
My main concern is that your kid will find it hard to make friends and might even get bullied when he gets older - no doubt those idiot parents will endorse it inadvertently.
My main concern is that your kid will find it hard to make friends and might even get bullied when he gets older - no doubt those idiot parents will endorse it inadvertently.
Yachtie, I have huge sympathy for you – it’s very unfair of the other parents to push the noise away from their house to outside yours. There is definitely less respect for others than 20/30/40 years ago when parents would have sided with other parents/adults rather than reinforcing their child's already inflated sense of entitlement. However, you are unfortunately now in a situation where there is nothing you can do to force a change. The guards can’t do anything and the parents won’t do anything and the kids are probably taking delight in annoying you at this stage, knowing that there will be no consequences for them.
As others have said, for the sake of your child in years to come, you really really do not want to become the weird grumpy neighbours. We lived next to a couple about 15/20 years ago and the wife was always complaining about something – parking, noise, children drawing with chalk on the pavements etc. We have moved since but I still see her and think ‘daft old bat’ (she’s about the same age as me, in her 40s) – and I’ve told my children stories about her and her antics – they love hearing about them especially when we see her out and about. I’m sure (well not really) that she might be a perfectly reasonable person who thinks she has been persecuted by evil inconsiderate neighbours.
Some suggestions:
1. The wet ground idea was a good one (disguised as obsessive car-washing not deliberate action to get rid of them); a bit of mud thrown in (from cleaning your boot after a trip to the beach/park) would make it particularly unpleasant to play basketball.
2. Do any of the kids have older sisters you could ask to babysit for you? This would help in two ways – she would (hopefully...) see that you are not grumpy tyrants hellbent on making life miserable for kids who just want to play on a sunny evening; and if she has to get a fractious toddler to sleep amidst the thump thump thump, she might manage to shoo them away and also mention to her parents that it is a genuine problem.
3.
Ideally yes but if they are doing nothing illegal then they can play where they like full stop.
Again, ideally yes but if they WANT to congregate/play on public property in front of YOUR house, there’s nothing to stop them.
As others have said, for the sake of your child in years to come, you really really do not want to become the weird grumpy neighbours. We lived next to a couple about 15/20 years ago and the wife was always complaining about something – parking, noise, children drawing with chalk on the pavements etc. We have moved since but I still see her and think ‘daft old bat’ (she’s about the same age as me, in her 40s) – and I’ve told my children stories about her and her antics – they love hearing about them especially when we see her out and about. I’m sure (well not really) that she might be a perfectly reasonable person who thinks she has been persecuted by evil inconsiderate neighbours.
Some suggestions:
1. The wet ground idea was a good one (disguised as obsessive car-washing not deliberate action to get rid of them); a bit of mud thrown in (from cleaning your boot after a trip to the beach/park) would make it particularly unpleasant to play basketball.
2. Do any of the kids have older sisters you could ask to babysit for you? This would help in two ways – she would (hopefully...) see that you are not grumpy tyrants hellbent on making life miserable for kids who just want to play on a sunny evening; and if she has to get a fractious toddler to sleep amidst the thump thump thump, she might manage to shoo them away and also mention to her parents that it is a genuine problem.
3.
You need to consider what’s best for your child – digging in your heels and not moving him because you shouldn’t have to doesn’t solve your problem. I would read in the utility room and eat dinner in the bathroom if I felt it would get my toddler to sleep.
I wouldn't worry too much about the children getting on. Yachtie's child is 2.
Nobody can determine who will befriend another. Yachtie's child will (presumably) attend school and will make friends there. Her child will not rely solely on their neighbours to play.
There are many children where I live. Some never ever play on the green areas. They have their own social outlet. Other children live on the greens.
I wouldn't worry too much about neighbouring children being friends. The children mightn't even like each other anyway when they might be of an age to befriend each other.
What's important is that Yachtie and her family will be able to live in their home and be able to enjoy it.
Hopefully, the problem as outlined will run its course and the children will get bored and move on elsewhere.
Marion
Nobody can determine who will befriend another. Yachtie's child will (presumably) attend school and will make friends there. Her child will not rely solely on their neighbours to play.
There are many children where I live. Some never ever play on the green areas. They have their own social outlet. Other children live on the greens.
I wouldn't worry too much about neighbouring children being friends. The children mightn't even like each other anyway when they might be of an age to befriend each other.
What's important is that Yachtie and her family will be able to live in their home and be able to enjoy it.
Hopefully, the problem as outlined will run its course and the children will get bored and move on elsewhere.
Marion
The OP may have felt that their approach was friendly, but if the next step was to go formal, then I would wonder about the initial contact. Anyway that opportunity is gone now, and I think that the OP needs to step back and think about why someone would let this rule their life to the point that they feel 'suicidal'. Open the windows and the kid may even get used to noise, it might not be a bad idea.
The fact that you can describe a bunch of 10 year olds as the next gen of thugs really shows how far we sometimes let small situations blow up in conflict.
I played on the road always as a kid, and it was never considered 'bothering the neighbours'.
This from a man who previously posted about a neighbour building a SHED too close to him???
congratualtions on mastering the search function, however your investigation concluded prematurely. I had actually enquired about how close I could build a dwelling to the shed. Have another go.
It's not the kids we're giving out about, it's the parents. Of course kids were always up to that kind of thing. However, nowadays, instead of neighbours getting apologies from the parents and the kids having manners put on them, neighbours trying to engage directly with parents get rolled eyes, insulting remarks or even being told to eff off. Then, when people avoid direct confrontation with parents and use residents' associations, letters etc you have people saying 'but why didn't you just talk to the parents?'
I also hate this attitude that if kids are driving their neighbours mad with basket balls, skateboards etc 'oh well, at least they're not joyriding, doing drugs etc'. If an adult neighbour was playing blasting music at 3 oclock in the morning would you say 'Oh well, at least they're not drink driving or robbing a bank...'?
Where did I say one was akin to another? I am saying that as a general argument excusing one piece of annoying behaviour because 'ah shure, they could be doing something really illegal' is not a valid argument in my view. People do not apply it to adults, so why apply it to children.
You asked would someone have the same response to an adult blaring music at 3am as they have to kids playing noisily at 8pm.
I don't think it's a case of what the kids could be doing, they are kids and they are playing on a public area at a reasonable hour.
They are not a gang or thugs as they have been described, and I doubt if they are having a riot. they are kids and they are playing.
Yes, and I've explained the context in which I made that remark. At no point did I equate one thing with the other.
Also, I don't recall anyone calling the kids 'thugs'. One poster remarked that some idiotic laxadaisical, 'no one can say a word about my kids' parents were rearing the next generation of thugs. I took her to mean that if kids aren't taught to have respect for other people now and to sometimes be just told 'no' by their parents, they will grow up to be self entitled thugs.
Thanks for all your replies, advice and sympathy. It really means a lot to be heard and somewhat understood, so my genuine thanks to all of you.
If I may add to this that my main grievance is not with the kids but with the parents. As a parent of a child who is rapidly growing and will want to play outside with other children in a few years, I would be genuinely horrified to find out that a neighbour or anyone has told my child off for whatever reason on more than one occasion and that my child has ignored and disobeyed the elder. As an adult, I reserve the right to make my own judgement of the situation and even if I felt that the ‘other person’ was overly-sensitive, grumpy, unfriendly, intolerant or plain weird, that still will not give MY child the right to be a nuisance. ‘Daring, that lady / gentleman doesn’t like you being there / doing that so please take it elsewhere and we’ll all get on nicely’,… and all that. It really is a mentality issue.
If I may add to this that my main grievance is not with the kids but with the parents. As a parent of a child who is rapidly growing and will want to play outside with other children in a few years, I would be genuinely horrified to find out that a neighbour or anyone has told my child off for whatever reason on more than one occasion and that my child has ignored and disobeyed the elder. As an adult, I reserve the right to make my own judgement of the situation and even if I felt that the ‘other person’ was overly-sensitive, grumpy, unfriendly, intolerant or plain weird, that still will not give MY child the right to be a nuisance. ‘Daring, that lady / gentleman doesn’t like you being there / doing that so please take it elsewhere and we’ll all get on nicely’,… and all that. It really is a mentality issue.
Alright Yachtie - quite a statement there. Look, we can all say what we want, give you suggestions, argue each side of it; but from your comment here you are clearly letting the situation get in on you so you now need to take yourself out of the situation for a short time. Can you get out of the house for a few days just for the remainder of these sunny afternoons, maybe go stay with a relative etc??. Probably sounds extreme but your comment above strikes me as being very extreme so I think a little space and time might just put some perspective on the issue. As I said earlier, you are extremely sensitive to the situation right now and as such every little thing will set you off, to the point of listening in as they speak to the milkman - let him deal with them if he thinks they are rude, don't get any more involved than you are. You need to get control of the situation before it gets to extreme levels & I don't want to offend you but you need to get control of your emotions on this one.
Also - I'm no expert on toddlers but I do believe that young children pick up on vibes around them and perhaps this is adding to his inability to sleep, he could be picking up on your tension ......... either way just try to get out for a few days. Rain will be back next week
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