negative equity, 3 kids, 2 rooms. low income

[lionstour]

I don't agree the husband should stay home and mind the kids either.
A lot of men see their self worth as being directly related to their jobs. Through social conditioning, they do not see homemaking and minding kids as valid worthwhile work.
So when they are out of work, it equates to being worthless and a crashing, severe loss of self esteem results.
So you end up with a man, at home, getting worryingly more and more depressed, and making everyone else's life bloody miserable with it.
So as if she didn't have enough to be worrying about, the wife has another big problem on her hands!
That is the reality in most homes where unemployment has hit.

Thats all very well theoretically but this family is facing a very tough time financially. This man needs to understand that his familty is better served by him staying at home to look after them. he needs to understand that there is intrinsic value in looking after his kids. A lot of men dont want to look after kids because it is hard thankless work.

 

[lionstour]

Sadie that's very well put.

I find it hard to square your view that he would be better off on the dole on the one hand to supporting sadies post on the other.

 

[lionstour]

Re: another what do we do neg equity post

Excuse me? Are you saying that the only way to get any work done is to have them glued to the TV? You are mistaken. And if your children need "constant attention" there is something wrong with them. Have they no imagination? Can they not play independently? Mine can. Also they sleep, giving me many hours in the evening and a couple during the day.

If you are organised, ambitious and determined you can make any situation work for you, if you try hard enough.

The woman in question has two young children and a baby on the way. For me that means constant attention. Its okay for kids over five or six to play independently but this should be done under constant adult supervision at the very least. Your obviously a very organised and motivated person who does not mind working two jobs from the moment you get up in the day to when you go to bed at night. Good luck to you.

My children are very well adjusted and happy by the way. As far as imagination goes, this morning he told me he's "on safari chasing lions". He was in bed at the time just waking up. He not even 3. Cutie

 

[galway.]

hey guys im male 26 worl full times shifts and have three kids 9,6 and 2 often i have the kids and herself does be at work. i can not see why this man can not ust be a stay at home dad and further his studies from the net.

its a horrible place to be but i think ye need to talk to someone like mabs or that

 

[lionstour]

hey guys im male 26 worl full times shifts and have three kids 9,6 and 2 often i have the kids and herself does be at work. i can not see why this man can not ust be a stay at home dad and further his studies from the net.

its a horrible place to be but i think ye need to talk to someone like mabs or that

Shift work is good for looking after the kids all right. But try doing both at the same time. I aggree about furthering his studies.

 

[AlbacoreA]

Re: another what do we do neg equity post

I definately don't agree with unlimited TV. But not all kids are the same, and some kids are far more demanding then others. Slapping yourself on the back about your own kids is no help to someone else. Get a bunch of kids together and you soon see that some are just far more spirited and have far more energy than others, and some are just easier. Some are happy doing the usual stuff, others could build an atomic bomb from an apple and a spoon.

Besides its the quiet ones that go postal.

Anyway some people are able for being at some simply aren't. They go stir crazy. I don't think you can dismiss that. Financially the hubby should stay at home. But they've had prior experience of this, and it didn't sound like it worked out.

 

[lionstour]

Re: another what do we do neg equity post

One can supervise and work at the same time, and I work while they sleep. mine are 5, 2 and 14 weeks, and I get plenty of work done as well as playing with them.

My point is that many do work as well as stay at home with children, and you cannot tell people that it is impossible for all as that is patently not true. Desperate times and all that, and if your choice is working creatively or losing your homw, I know which I would choose.

Fair enough, I think its amazing you earn a living at home and look after 3 kids especially one who is only 14 weeks. Any you have no outside support? I admire you if you manage all that seriously. But the guy in question struggled at home before so I'd dare say trying to get him to look after 3 kids and earn money from home is going a step too far. Thats all I am saying.

 

[AlbacoreA]

One of ours is a dream baby. You could bring them to work no problem they are that good. We wondered how others managed so easily till this one came along.

Have to say I'd stayed at home for a while when I had to. But I'm happy to get out to work for a break tbh. Whereas others I know would be happy never going back to work. Everyone different. But you can only do what you can afford to do. Also its not forever, as the kids eventually go to school, and then you have increasingly more time.

 

[blueskies]

Hi there
Dont understand why it is such a bad idea to rent out own property and rent anoother bigger property. There are many many areas where you can still rent out properties within two weeks. Prices have reduced by 30% but if rent substantially covers mortgage then what is the problem.And if it doesnt work out , move back in.....