Fair enough. Just thought it might be an idea to double check that you were not identifying the wrong cause of your financial issues.
Looking for advice, gambling credit card debts etc
- Thread starter CharlieMcC
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r2d2
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CharlieMc,
I'm not a finacially orientated person so I can't help you on that. What I can do is give you some firsthand advice re; gambling. In his late 20's my brother developed a lust from gambling....It got way out of control and cost him his job and almost his marraige. I worked through it with him, I went to the counselling sessions etc. But please be aware that there is a strong chance that when you sort out your debt issues you will jump back into gambling if you don't get professional help.....People do crazy things when there is an addiction involved and the problem with gambling as opposed to drink or drugs is that you don't fall over...You can keep going and going and going.....It doesn't make any credible sense to anyone who's never had exposure to this problem. I would wholeheartedly recommend counselling....It was desperately important. We saw and spoke with people who had lost everything. We met guys who had been Senior Managers/Directors who had broken into neighbours houses to fund their addiction. It made my brother realise that he was very very lucky to have done something about it at that stage.
From what I've read you have a lot of work to do regarding your debt but you are also very lucky to still have your house and your sanity and this really could be the start of your 'new' stress free life....Be aware though that gamblers have an amazing ability to talk themselves in and out of 'great' ideas time after time. Please please please go and get professional help, these people are 100% non judgemental and are as understanding and human as you could ask for. If you would like to PM me I can point you in the direction of the guy we used.
Take care,
r2d2
I'm not a finacially orientated person so I can't help you on that. What I can do is give you some firsthand advice re; gambling. In his late 20's my brother developed a lust from gambling....It got way out of control and cost him his job and almost his marraige. I worked through it with him, I went to the counselling sessions etc. But please be aware that there is a strong chance that when you sort out your debt issues you will jump back into gambling if you don't get professional help.....People do crazy things when there is an addiction involved and the problem with gambling as opposed to drink or drugs is that you don't fall over...You can keep going and going and going.....It doesn't make any credible sense to anyone who's never had exposure to this problem. I would wholeheartedly recommend counselling....It was desperately important. We saw and spoke with people who had lost everything. We met guys who had been Senior Managers/Directors who had broken into neighbours houses to fund their addiction. It made my brother realise that he was very very lucky to have done something about it at that stage.
From what I've read you have a lot of work to do regarding your debt but you are also very lucky to still have your house and your sanity and this really could be the start of your 'new' stress free life....Be aware though that gamblers have an amazing ability to talk themselves in and out of 'great' ideas time after time. Please please please go and get professional help, these people are 100% non judgemental and are as understanding and human as you could ask for. If you would like to PM me I can point you in the direction of the guy we used.
Take care,
r2d2
I'm glad you found my advice useful.
A mortgage top up like you were enquiring about might well be a solution. As long as your mortgage is at a variable rate you won't have a penalty for lodging lump sums if/when they become available. As long as it's not beyond your means to pay it. The worst thing anyone can possibly do for their credit rating is to miss a mtge payment.
You obviously have kept reasonably on top of things or you wouldn't
a) be offered another cr card or
b) be considered by your broker as likely to get a mortgage top up
So well done, in spite of your present problems, you've actually gotten your act together before you ruined your chances of being able to straighten yourself out. You could have lost a good credit rating, got behind on mtge repayments & lost your house. The end result could have been a total disaster...
Your ability to cop yourself on will stand in good stead to you & I'm sure once you set your mind to it & live frugally for a while you'll be sorted before you know it.
From a bankers perspective, we have the most problems with people who either won't admit they have a problem or won't listen to advice & you don't fall into either of those categories.
best wishes
A mortgage top up like you were enquiring about might well be a solution. As long as your mortgage is at a variable rate you won't have a penalty for lodging lump sums if/when they become available. As long as it's not beyond your means to pay it. The worst thing anyone can possibly do for their credit rating is to miss a mtge payment.
You obviously have kept reasonably on top of things or you wouldn't
a) be offered another cr card or
b) be considered by your broker as likely to get a mortgage top up
So well done, in spite of your present problems, you've actually gotten your act together before you ruined your chances of being able to straighten yourself out. You could have lost a good credit rating, got behind on mtge repayments & lost your house. The end result could have been a total disaster...
Your ability to cop yourself on will stand in good stead to you & I'm sure once you set your mind to it & live frugally for a while you'll be sorted before you know it.
From a bankers perspective, we have the most problems with people who either won't admit they have a problem or won't listen to advice & you don't fall into either of those categories.
best wishes
CharlieMcC
Registered User
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Evening everyone (although I reckon I'm alone at this hour!),
Just to update those who were kind enough to offer advice when I first posted, things are looking a whole lot healthier - thanks to your help.
There's still a long way to go with my debts, I'm far from out of the woods, but having stopped gambling and having tightened my belt to near-non-breathing point I'm now eating in to my debts to the point where I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. And it feels great.
Once a gambler, always a gambler, I doubt you ever truly get it out of your system, but I've contacted four online gambling companies to ensure that they will block my credit cards in case I'm ever tempted again. Three did it no problem, the fourth took some persuading, but they finally relented when I told them I would speak to the media about them. I'm relieved, I was afraid I would have to star on Joe Duffy's show
You quickly learn never to trust yourself again, so contacting these companies and using the gambling blocker I mentioned before at least ensures that it will be damn hard to gamble again with an online company.
To the many people who sent me private messages wishing me luck and admitting to similar problems I say thank you, and I hope any advice I offered (largely of the second hand variety, ie taken off this board!) was helpful.
On the subject of private messages - it worried me that so many of these people were reluctant to post their problems on this website because of the less than helpful and depressingly judgemental comments that some contributors (one in particular) make/made when others owned up to the mess they created for themselves. All I would ask is that if you have no understanding of the addiction that is gambling or if you are not prepared to acknowledge that even admitting to the problem is a huge step then please do not get involved in the discussion. Six months ago, or so, I would have scoffed at someone with gambling problems, I honestly would have dismissed them as wasters, but having succumbed myself I know now how miserably easy it is to do.
Please leave this board to people who are willing to offer good advice, don't use it as a platform to scoff at others less fortunate and wise just to make yourself feel better.
That's it. Thank you again to all who offered good advice, you'll never know just how invaluable it was.
Just to update those who were kind enough to offer advice when I first posted, things are looking a whole lot healthier - thanks to your help.
There's still a long way to go with my debts, I'm far from out of the woods, but having stopped gambling and having tightened my belt to near-non-breathing point I'm now eating in to my debts to the point where I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. And it feels great.
Once a gambler, always a gambler, I doubt you ever truly get it out of your system, but I've contacted four online gambling companies to ensure that they will block my credit cards in case I'm ever tempted again. Three did it no problem, the fourth took some persuading, but they finally relented when I told them I would speak to the media about them. I'm relieved, I was afraid I would have to star on Joe Duffy's show
You quickly learn never to trust yourself again, so contacting these companies and using the gambling blocker I mentioned before at least ensures that it will be damn hard to gamble again with an online company.
To the many people who sent me private messages wishing me luck and admitting to similar problems I say thank you, and I hope any advice I offered (largely of the second hand variety, ie taken off this board!) was helpful.
On the subject of private messages - it worried me that so many of these people were reluctant to post their problems on this website because of the less than helpful and depressingly judgemental comments that some contributors (one in particular) make/made when others owned up to the mess they created for themselves. All I would ask is that if you have no understanding of the addiction that is gambling or if you are not prepared to acknowledge that even admitting to the problem is a huge step then please do not get involved in the discussion. Six months ago, or so, I would have scoffed at someone with gambling problems, I honestly would have dismissed them as wasters, but having succumbed myself I know now how miserably easy it is to do.
Please leave this board to people who are willing to offer good advice, don't use it as a platform to scoff at others less fortunate and wise just to make yourself feel better.
That's it. Thank you again to all who offered good advice, you'll never know just how invaluable it was.
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