lack of clarity in school policies

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Hi hwin1

I don't see why the school should be saying sorry for something like this.

They have a care of duty to your daughter and told you what was on their minds, is this wrong?

Would you have preferred if they said nothing at all?

Sure maybe the manner in which it was told could have used some work but at the end of the day life goes on and there are far worse things that could have happened.

My advice to you would be put it in the past and let it go.:)
 
thanks S.L.F. I will see what comes of the meeting and hopefully put it behind us then, I am not disputing the fact that the teachers had to tell me, why didn't they call the girls and ask their side there and then? Surely my daughter has attended the school for 5 years now and they should know that would be totally out of character for her,to take alcohol on the premises is a very serious offence but they didn't call me until after she had left the building. If they were that concerned about the consumption of alcohol, why didn't they call me to collect her? Do you get my point?
 
Schools are required to have a 'Substance Abuse Policy' .... if there's one in place then reporting and disciplinary procedures etc. should be outlined in it.
 
hwin1 said:
thanks S.L.F. I will see what comes of the meeting and hopefully put it behind us then, I am not disputing the fact that the teachers had to tell me, why didn't they call the girls and ask their side there and then? Surely my daughter has attended the school for 5 years now and they should know that would be totally out of character for her,to take alcohol on the premises is a very serious offence but they didn't call me until after she had left the building. If they were that concerned about the consumption of alcohol, why didn't they call me to collect her? Do you get my point?
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I do understand what you are asking but does it really matter when it was the point is the girls are ok nobody was hurt.

I don't doubt the girls feelings are hurt but the reality is everybody is ok.

It is important to stick up for your daughter but it is also wise to pick the moments when you do this.

I don't believe this is one!
 
hwin1 said:
If they were that concerned about the consumption of alcohol, why didn't they call me to collect her? Do you get my point?
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So you are cross with them because you feel they under reacted?

Do you want an apology because they did not ring you straight away?
 
I think what might be worrying hwin1 in this affair is the prospect of 'a disciplinary meeting' - Why is the principal having a disciplinary meeting where there has been no breach of discipline as far as we know? Is there something else that the principal wants to say? Does he/she have some reservations on the teeth brace cleaning fluid? Did you keep the written printout of the alcohol test hwin1? God, I'm beginning to sound like Inspector Morse?
 
I have two close friends - a husband and wife - one was a secondary school principal of a large school, another a secondary school teacher.

On more than one occasion he has told me stories of parents (without naming names obviously) who came into the school on the war path looking for apologies for perceived slights against their child. Fair enough if the situation deserved it but it really pi$$ed him off if it didnt.

I am pretty confident hwin that your situation doesnt merit the apology you seem to be looking for and in my opinion you would be best to let the whole thing go and be thankful that your daughter wasnt actually drinking and also thanking the school for their vigilance. Too many teachers just walk on by.

Also if you do get your apology, (which they will probably give for the sake of diplomacy), remember that really it is just to get rid of you and your moral indignation and get on with the important job of looking after the running of one of the biggest schools in ireland (did you say 1000 students?!!?)

Finally this disciplinary meeting - could it be that your little angel actually might be up to something? Or could her friend actually have been drinking alcohol and maybe the teachers are trying to let ye know in a confidential manner?

Dont be so sensitive, the teachers obviously are looking out for your child, they are on your side and they are dealing with numerous other issues like this every day. Demanding an apology for an honest mistake will do you or your daughter no favours in the long run.

Do you ask for an apology every time someone makes an honest mistake at work???? I doubt it
 
WarrenBuffet said:
I have two close friends - a husband and wife - one was a secondary school principal of a large school, another a secondary school teacher.

On more than one occasion he has told me stories of parents (without naming names obviously) who came into the school on the war path looking for apologies for perceived slights against their child. Fair enough if the situation deserved it but it really pi$$ed him off if it didnt.

I am pretty confident hwin that your situation doesnt merit the apology you seem to be looking for and in my opinion you would be best to let the whole thing go and be thankful that your daughter wasnt actually drinking and also thanking the school for their vigilance. Too many teachers just walk on by.

Also if you do get your apology, (which they will probably give for the sake of diplomacy), remember that really it is just to get rid of you and your moral indignation and get on with the important job of looking after the running of one of the biggest schools in ireland (did you say 1000 students?!!?)

Finally this disciplinary meeting - could it be that your little angel actually might be up to something? Or could her friend actually have been drinking alcohol and maybe the teachers are trying to let ye know in a confidential manner?

Dont be so sensitive, the teachers obviously are looking out for your child, they are on your side and they are dealing with numerous other issues like this every day. Demanding an apology for an honest mistake will do you or your daughter no favours in the long run.

Do you ask for an apology every time someone makes an honest mistake at work???? I doubt it
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you may have got it wrong when it came to Irish banking shares, but your spot on here Warren!
 
nobody seems to be getting exactly what I mean, I am not DEMANDING an apology, I do sympathise with the teachers, I don't have any experience of teachers turning their backs, the school has gone over and beyond to help my daughters in the past( my other daughter attended the same school). What I am trying to say is the manner in which it was put to me, I have no doubt they will apologise at the meeting, even if it is only to get rid of me.I never ask for apologies, out of common decency they should be given.I know there is no TEENAGE ANGELS too!!
 
WarrenBuffet said:
Finally this disciplinary meeting - could it be that your little angel actually might be up to something? Or could her friend actually have been drinking alcohol and maybe the teachers are trying to let ye know in a confidential manner?
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If the little angel has been up to something, do you think it is unreasonable to expect some explanation of this from the school BEFORE being called to a meeting?
 
Complainer said:
If the little angel has been up to something, do you think it is unreasonable to expect some explanation of this from the school BEFORE being called to a meeting?
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It's a very reasonable requirement, and being in the company of somebody who smelt of alcohol does not seem like a basis for invoking disciplinary procedures.

Perhaps there is something that hwin1, in a state of anger or anxiety, missed out on hearing, or failed to communicate to us here.
 
thanks lads, the meeting goes ahead in the morning and has to be with the disciplinary committee as this is the category the issue falls under. However it is seen as a very serious allegation and has to be noted, the principal is happy enough with the confirmation of the use of the fluid, my daughter and another student were in the locker room getting changed for P E just after the girl had been using it and two teachers were going by on their way to lunch and just made an assumption. They never approached the girls, just went to the principal.Why are they allowed do this, I will find out in the morning.
 
hwin1 said:
They never approached the girls, just went to the principal.Why are they allowed do this, I will find out in the morning.
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Your daughter is a child and you and your husband are legal guardians of her, it is only right and proper that they should approach you.

Whether or not they should have approached the girls I can't say but I can say they should have approached you.
 
surely if you thought a kid had done something wrong you would ask them about it and then make a decision, not an assumption. I don't question they should have come to me.
 
From reading the thread it seems like the school is on a hiding to nothing. If they had approached the girls I think lots of people would object and say it should have come instead directly to the parents - no win.
 
hwin1 said:
thanks lads, the meeting goes ahead in the morning and has to be with the disciplinary committee as this is the category the issue falls under. However it is seen as a very serious allegation and has to be noted, the principal is happy enough with the confirmation of the use of the fluid, my daughter and another student were in the locker room getting changed for P E just after the girl had been using it and two teachers were going by on their way to lunch and just made an assumption. They never approached the girls, just went to the principal.Why are they allowed do this, I will find out in the morning.
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I seriously doubt, no in fact I am 100% sure that if the principal was okay with the fluid story this would go to a "disciplinary committee meeting". There is something more to this story. If there was not the principal would be happy for it, and I suspect you to go away.
 
hwin1 said:
nobody seems to be getting exactly what I mean, I am not DEMANDING an apology, I do sympathise with the teachers, I don't have any experience of teachers turning their backs, the school has gone over and beyond to help my daughters in the past( my other daughter attended the same school). What I am trying to say is the manner in which it was put to me, I have no doubt they will apologise at the meeting, even if it is only to get rid of me.I never ask for apologies, out of common decency they should be given.I know there is no TEENAGE ANGELS too!!
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You miss my point - i think you or your daughter don't deserve an apology, full stop. They made an honest mistake but at all times were looking out for your childs welfare. What on earth have they done wrong? What have they to apologise for?

And agree with television's point - there could be more to this than you think.

I will be interested to hear your feedback on the disciplinary meeting although to be honest i will take your version of the events with a pinch of salt......you havent exactly shown yourself to be reasonable. Would love to hear a report of the entire incident from the teachers / principal viewpoint.
 
Last remark a bit unreasonable. If it was me I would forget about it but this lady is obviously very upset so give her a chance.
 
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