It could only happen in films and TV

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micmclo

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Have we done this thread before?
Mods, feel free to lock, I had a quick glance here and STB, didn't see it
What do you see always happening on TV and films that strike you as strange?
I'll start :)



You can walk into any bar and order "beer". No mention of brand, the barman just knows what your beer is.

If you are one week from retirment and they hire in a young recruit to work with you then you're fooked :eek:. You are guranteed to be killed and you'll never make it to retirement

The best police detectives are bitter old alcoholics. They spent a lot of their day in bars drinking bourbon but when they get a phonecall they hop into their car and drive no problem. Drink driving doesn't affect them

Your relation died and you came back from the funeral and are sobbing on the couch. Someone puts their arm around you to comfort and you must immediately go to bed with them. Just the rules

However you have an affair you will be caught, nobody ever gets away with an affair in TV land


I'll try to think of more
 
In the older black and white movies if someone was cut off on a telephone call they kept hitting the hang up button on telephones to try and get the person on the other end of the call to respond.

Why?

It never worked.
 
People spend all day every day in the pub drinking yet they never seem to have a job. Where are they getting this money from? :confused:
And people have tabs and put drinks "on tick". Well I've a local pub and know the owner and in all my years there I've never asked for credit or heard of anyone doing it

Every Christmas day there will be a huge family row.

You go to the "caf" for fried egg sandwiches, sausage rolls and junk and then to the pub for drink. Nobody ever puts on weight??

If you leave in a taxi we'll never see you again. Nobody in Walford ever uses the tube though there is a station there
On that note, we never see the airport. We hear of people flying in and out but nobody meets them at the airport.

However, grabbing your love and telling them how you feel at the airport gate will always work. And the airport staff will not mind that you're delaying the plane or that they now have to unload your luggage since you are not getting on

And yet I still watch some of these soaps :D

Bedsheets and duvets are L shaped, you'll see the mans chest but never the ladies

One to note, if you ever lock yourself out of the house or the padlock to the garden shed is rusted then you need to buy a gun. Shooting a look will instantly open doors and nobody will ever get hurt from a ricochet

If there is an intruder in your house you don't get out, you run to a corner of the house where there is no escape. You then start sobbing on the phone and never look behind you

If you have a photo of your wife and children that you show to your friend, sorry you're going to die a horrible death. :( Best to get rid of these from your wallet
 
If you are the hero detective, no matter how many times you are shot at, you will always manage to dodge those bullets.

On the other hand, the hero detective never misses with his shots.

The bad guy in a movie is never arrested. There is a shoot out and he will die.
 
You can walk into any bar and order "beer". No mention of brand, the barman just knows what your beer is.
Click to expand...

I walk into my local and I don't even have to ASK for a pint - the black stuff will arrive without discussion.
 
Crashed cars ALWAYS explode.
Being shot (non-fatally) never brings on shock, and a shot in the leg only temporarily prevents walking.
A slug of whiskey is ample anaesthetic for most amateur medical procedures.
Any computer system can be hacked by a teenager.
Nobody uses a mouse to navigate computer systems.
Computer systems look infinitely cooler than in relaity.
 
Someone suddenly has to pack up and leave and it has to be that day. They go to the bedroom, pull a case from the top of the wardrobe and throw random clothes in.

They don’t seem to need underwear, socks, shoes, toiletries or makeup. If they are working, they don’t seem to give notice or look for a p45. They have no issues with the mortgage/ rent or the ESB/UPC bills. Money isn’t an issue at all, they are able to up sticks and be gone without any notion of when they will get the next job. They often go abroad and from I can see they didn’t look for their passport.
 
When our American hero goes abroad everyone will be able to speak English to them.

If the locals have poor English our hero will speak to them reaaaaly sloooowly. Yet the locals don't get offended or feel patronized over this

All foreign policemen and border control can be bribed. So next time the guys in Rosslare are giving you hassle, give them a bribe
However all American border control are ridiculously strict and would never consider corruption, oh yeah :rolleyes:

If you are in a convenience store/shop there is a very good chance an armed robber is going to storm in and kill the guy behind the counter. And I thought my local Spar was dodgy
 
micmclo said:
Your relation died and you came back from the funeral and are sobbing on the couch. Someone puts their arm around you to comfort and you must immediately go to bed with them. Just the rules

However you have an affair you will be caught, nobody ever gets away with an affair in TV land
Click to expand...
Cannot think of any to add at the moment, but this one really made me laugh :D.
 
There is always a supremely hot femme fatale at every hotel you enter just waiting for you to arrive.
 
If you are in a soap you will never ever have a life beyond the street/square in which you live. You will work there, socialise there, sleep with all the neighbours and marry a guy who has already fathered at least three of the kids living on the street.


Oh, and if you mention you have a slight headache you will die of a brain tumour on Christmas day.
 
The guy dies just as he is about to say where the diamonds are hidden.
The rope bridge is always frayed.
The person enters the house and walks in to the back room where the murderer is hiding but never seems to put on the lights. "Put the effing lights on".
In the "being chased scene" they always look back and trip.
When the car is chasing them along the road they never look for protection behind a tree or similar. They just keep running along the middle of the road.
The guy being chased always climbs up the ladder to the top of the water tower...so he can fall off.
 
Laramie said:
The guy dies just as he is about to say where the diamonds are hidden.
The rope bridge is always frayed.
The person enters the house and walks in to the back room where the murderer is hiding but never seems to put on the lights. "Put the effing lights on".
In the "being chased scene" they always look back and trip.
When the car is chasing them along the road they never look for protection behind a tree or similar. They just keep running along the middle of the road.
The guy being chased always climbs up the ladder to the top of the water tower...so he can fall off.
Click to expand...

You forgot the girl being chased by the homicidal maniac. She always ignores the well lit street with lots of traffic and makes straight for the dark back lane/lonely cul de sac/empty car park.
 
Do you see that girl over there?
With the thick black glasses, messy haircut, dowdy and dreary clothes and nerdish and clumsy ways?

Just take off her glasses, put her in a dress and she will be absolutely stunning
So many films have this
She's All That is an example


All schools have jocks and nerds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8



Lawyers are money hungry, ruthless and pretty unlikable people
Oh wait, this one may be true ;)
 
When driving you never have to use your mirrors, seldom have to look out the windscreen when talking to the front seat passenger, can use a mobile as much as you want and never need switch on an indicator!
Oh no wait a minute that's not the movies, it's for real!!!!
 
I've been working in offices for a long time and have never seen the photocopier guy provide a 'service' ;) other than fixing the photocopier.

Maybe I should be watching a different genre of film :eek: ?
 
The clothes the guy steals from the clothesline who has just escaped from prison fit perfectly.
The food in the expensive restaurant is never eaten. "I'm not hungry anymore".

The guys wearing the different coloured tops in Star Trek are always killed by the alien.

They always wear t shirts in American Homes when the snow is thick on the ground outside.
 
In soaps people never seem to make themselves a cup of tea or a meal at home.

They go across the street to the cafe or pub (Eastenders).

Also none of them own a washing machine as the local laundrette does a roaring trade.
 
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